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Red Faction: Guerilla Contest Winners

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We had many excellent entries for our Smashing Things With Hammers photo competition; but, in the end, there can be only one winner.

Er, ten. There can be only ten winners. Whether it be cruelty to animals (real or fake), giant eggs, or actual self-harm, you’ll find it here. Thanks, folks; your dedication to the cause is an inspiration to us all.

So, without further ado, here are the winning entries:

Firstly, Johnny, who is either very small or knows someone with a very large chicken:

"And two enormous slices of toast, please."
"And two enormous slices of toast, please."

Next, Kapzer, with some good sledgehammer technique:

Take this, accursed vegetables!
Take this, accursed vegetables!

Rob’s photo is, appropriately, titled “Dedication”:

Please hammer, don't hurt 'em.
Please, hammer, don't hurt 'em.

Mark brings together cruelty, motion blur and a croquet mallet in a single scene.

If Tom Nook offers you a mortgage, say no.
If Tom Nook offers you a mortgage, say no.

Excellent motion blur action from Alex:

smash hits

Our second “simulated cruelty” winner comes from Mark Boss:

There's something unnerving about this.
There's something unnerving about this.

The Rook’s entry paints a picture of a man truly dedicated to his work.

Another of Tom Nook's debt collectors.
Another of Tom Nook's debt collectors.

Bonus points to Dave for using an actual Red Faction Gorilla.

"Red Faction Gorilla". Nice one Dave.
"Do you hear something?"

Adrian says Munkeh was “the cutest thing I could find as the neighbour’s cat wasn’t around”…

"Johnny Vegas sends his regards."
"Johnny Vegas sends his regards."

… Linda’s bunny Bob was not so lucky.

I don't think that towel's going to be big enough.
I don't think that towel's going to be big enough.

Thank you very much to everyone who entered; prizes will be on the way very soon!

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14 responses to “Red Faction: Guerilla Contest Winners”

  1. Tony avatar
    Tony

    This paints a very disturbing picture of the Ready Up readership…

    Well done to all the jammy winners – I had to *buy* my copy!

  2. MarkuzR avatar
    MarkuzR

    Two things disturb me about Rook’s entry… the fact that his victim looks truly disturbed and in pain (I won’t ASK where the hell you got that… twistedtoys.com??) and the fact that he has another toy gimped up to hell. I’m considering putting a childlock on the spare room for next time he visits. Disturbing 🙂

  3. MarkuzR avatar
    MarkuzR

    Is that a Chobot doll???

  4. Ben avatar
    Ben

    The dedication on Rook’s face looks amazing!

    Nooo, not the Jinx doll!

    Awesome entries folks 🙂

  5. Darach avatar
    Darach

    *wants Linda’s rabbit* 🙂

    *wants a large hammer* 🙂

    *rly wants free games* 🙁

    Jammy winners all of you, what with your great photos and your reading the best gaming site evar! 😛

    I hate you’s all. 😀

  6. Kat avatar
    Kat

    My rabbit would pwn me if I went at him with a hammer :/

    Well done winners! *applauds*

    Rook… as disturbing as ever 😀

  7. Pix3l avatar
    Pix3l

    Haha Rook’s picture was genius!

  8. Jonny/IV DemonJ avatar
    Jonny/IV DemonJ

    That was a tasty egg!

    Rob – your package… is it alright?

  9. Michael avatar
    Michael

    Rook, you’re a bit mad… 😀

    Linda’s pic is also awesome for the rabbits in the background! And for a giant rabbit called Bob 😀

    And what Jonny asked 0_o

  10. markB0SS avatar
    markB0SS

    Yay, thats a Chobot doll. And thats a photo of me and the Chobot in the back. I actually posted this on her Facebook profile somewhere, if you look you’ll find it.

    I have to give it to the Rook and his twisted gangsta style tourtue, very cool indeed. And also a little disturbing.

    And Linda, gosh, your poor bunny!!!! Hope he survived!!!

    Recieved my copy today,

    CHEERS READY UP!!!!!!!!!1 :)))))))))))))))

  11. Loz avatar
    Loz

    Hahahaha! Awesome entries guys!!! Love it!! Well done to all the people who entered!!

  12. The Rook avatar
    The Rook

    It Boss wants to destroy the Chobot doll, he should give it to me instead, until I get the real Chobot too. 😀

    Thanks for the comments peeps. I was wondering if my pic was too disturbing. That’s a Honey Monster teddy from when I was a kid, and the yellow teddy is Little Ted. He was won in a raffle and given to my mum for when I was born. 😀

  13. Tim avatar
    Tim

    Rook’s is actually quite unnerving, is that a teddy with it’s head tied on with a belt on the right?

    I certainly wouldn’t be refusing him a copy of Red Faction, I don’t think my kneecaps would escape.

  14. Lorna avatar
    Lorna

    Great stuff everybody. Rook, you’re a twisted genius 😀 I like the toys and they look suitably scared…but then, who can really blame them. About the only thing you haven’t done is put that bound one in a gimp mask! 😀

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