What If It Wasn’t Just A Game?

I’ve played an awful lot of games in my life. I’ve played fighting games, shooting games, racing games, 2D adventure games, 3D adventure games, massively multiplayer role-play games, massively solitary role-play games, games with music in them, games with movies in them, games with games in them, games that celebrate games, games that would spit in your face if you so much as suggested they were games…

I’ve played so many games, in fact, that I find myself thinking about them even when I’m not playing them. You know, simply observing life events in light of them. They’ve made a big impression on my comparatively bland world and so they influence my thoughts at the most inappropriate times.

One of my favourite such times is when I’m asked  a markedly pointless or dull question to which I am expected to provide some sort of an answer. I mull over my potential offerings like Threepwood giving a press conference.

As fun as games are I can’t help but think that being part of one — actually being born into a videogame — would be more fun. Artillery wouldn’t be in short supply and nor would ammunition. (Why this appeals to me is the matter of an imminent therapy session rather than this blog). Okay, so I’d likely have a few aliens/demons/horrifyingly disfigured entities to deal with but I mean who doesn’t? My boss has a pair of eyeballs that would put a post G-Virus William Birkin to shame and I have to handle him every deadline.

My life would undoubtedly be simpler, too. Take locating misplaced belongings as an example. I’d simply look around the room to find the objects that were glinting in the dark (well I didn’t say games were lessons in physics). If it ain’t glowing then I ain’t picking it up — simple.

In effect, failure simply would not feature in my world. Even the most challenging situations would be softened by the encouraging protection offered by checkpoints. Just think how that could benefit me. The words ‘deadline shmeadline’ come to mind.

Repetitive boss-fight intros wouldn’t scare me anyhow; my mum begins all fresh warfare armed with the very same nag. It’s evolved into a sort of tribal war chant, in fact, and I’ve become impressively adept at tuning it out. Most of it seems to have something to do with mops.

Yes, that is actually my mum
I’ve played a lot of games, and it’s nice to wonder how my life would be if I was part of a videogame. I hope I’m not the only one.







5 responses to “What If It Wasn’t Just A Game?”

  1. Mark P avatar

    I’ve always fancied being in a game. Especially something like Fable! That way you could never get lost because a trail of golden breadcrumbs would be lighting up your way and everyone who fancied you had a giant love heart above their head, which would definitely make things easier!

  2. Martin avatar

    I like the idea of checkpoints in life, if you fail you simply go back and restart, awesome idea.
    Kudos also for adapting the R-Type picture, ha ha your mum is part of the evil Bydo empire.
    Just think, living in a game, instead of going to the doctors you crouch down behind a wall for a gee seconds until your health gets better or you just walk over a medicine box. In fact you would never need to pick things up, just walk over them. Crash your car? No problem, wait a few seconds and it will fix itself. How handy would a double jump be? Can’t reach your apple/coin/star? No problem, jump once then jump again in mid air. Lolz.
    Lovely Sunday morning read Celeste, ready to get out of bed now 🙂

  3. The Rook avatar
    The Rook

    Money would be easier to come by so that would be a good thing and I’d be able to carry alot more with some magic pockets. Travel would be alot more fun using my Portal gun or if I had to drive then I wouldn’t need to worry about fuel or any of those silly tests.

    Of course, the outside world may also be filled with maiden stealing baddies, radiated creatures, aliens, the living dead so the job market would require unique skills.

    Maybe I’ll just head to the beach to watch the DOA volleyball tourny; people say I should get out in the sun more and that would sort that out. That would be the reason… honest. 🙂

  4. Duncan avatar

    I wish there was such thing as a Light Gem in real life – would make me continue to play Hide & Seek well into my 80’s! 😀

  5. Duncan avatar

    *continue playing

    Good writing there, Duncan. Good job.

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