Don’t Even Go There: Part 1

I’m easy enough to please.

Really, I am.

I’m one of your low maintenance, easy going girls that rarely pipes up and complains, but when I do, I do it big. There is still some girl left in this tomboy yet. So hear it is, the first of my rants featuring the crap that happens in my gaming life, blame what ever part of Mother Nature you want, I’m going to unleash it like a verbal geezer anyway. First on the agenda…

I’m not a mug!

I narrowly avoided smashing my remote through my nice HDTV the other day when I saw the new advertisement showing off this hunk of crap:

I’m not insulting the console itself, but the stupid fools who continue to think that by releasing games based on fashion and shoes and ‘all that other girlie stuff’ that they will convince girls who aren’t already gamers to buy a handheld console…

Of course they will, it’s pink! *duh* I must run and buy one now!

News flash! If I fitted into that matchbox sized pigeon hole they are trying to squeeze the female population into, I wouldn’t want to spend £140 buying a game and console that replicates buying the latest trends. I’d go down to Topshop and do it for real and have a whale of a time trying on spangled belts and sequinned pumps!

Seriously, when will the people making and more importantly marketing games realise that the way to target women and get them interested in the pastime is to not treat them like single minded consumerist idiots? I’m by no way saying that someone with a fashion fetish can’t be a gamer, but maybe the reason they would want to play games is by it being something new and different to their other interests

Do I want to brand a lancer assault rifle and make locust heads cave in because that’s how I spend my weekend anyway? Do I spend ages rearranging gems only to have them explode because it’s how I spend my day job? Granted, the latter would be cool in a ‘colourful rain of deadly glass in your eyeball’ kind of way, but this is about being realistic. People play games for escapism, to get away from the mundane and unleash some frustration, follow characters’ tales and watch their personal stories unfold. To enjoy the damn challenge! If we didn’t, we would all be playing games based on Eastenders. I don’t have to explain how wrong that is, you all know.

Let’s face it, making out that girls would want to play games about make up, clothes and puppies is just as big a gender bias as all guy gamers want to spend their days blowing stuff up. God forbid they enjoy a round of Tomb Raider, or think it’s fun to play Viva Piñata. In my mind I can’t decide if this latest attempt at the female gaming black hole is more insulting than the ‘Girls Aloud play Nintendogs you know?’ campaign from a few years ago. Second newsflash – most girls over the age of 12 aren’t impressed with Girls Aloud, and I have a phobia of dogs. If you want to make novelty pet games aimed at kids, talk to the makers of the Tamigotchi, don’t mar a decent console with your attempts to get some sales. Until they start targeting honest, genuinely made games at girls and making them feel that it’s an accessible pastime for them, they aren’t going to get anywhere!

Narrow your attempt at getting the attention of the market, and your response will be narrower.

It’s getting just damn insulting.