“Men, this stuff that some sources sling around about Gamers wanting out of this war, not wanting to play this game, is a crock of bullshit. Gamers love to fight, traditionally. All real Gamers love the sting and clash of battle. You are here today for three reasons. First, because you are here to defend your flags and your friends. Second, you are here for your own self-respect, because you would not want to be playing anything else. Third, you are here because you are real Gamers and all real Gamers like to fight. When you, here, every one of you, were kids, you all admired the champion PacMan player, the fastest speed-runner, the toughest boxer, the big league Fifa players, and the All-American Madden football players.
Gamers love a winner. Gamers will not tolerate losing. Gamers despise cowards. Gamers play to win all of the time. I wouldn’t give a hoot in hell for a player who lost and laughed.” – General Patton.
Did you hear that people? You damn well better have, because there is no way I could have put it better myself. What General Patton (should have) said to his troops, is what I want to convey into your minds, right now. I address you all with my hand held on my heart, and a tone of voice I reserve only for moments of the utmost importance. Modern Warfare 2, is dying.
It is not a healthy supply of soldiers which we are lacking, no sir. What we lack are the players with enough testicular-fortitude to get the game played right. The way God intended it to be played. It would appear, to both myself and my superiors, that some players believe that top of the range machine guns armed with bullets are the way forward in winning this game. Today I write before you to say that this is NOT the way Modern Warfare 2 wants you to win this war!
Some people out there are doing what they can to maintain order. They’re the brave men and women out there, using sniper rifles on Rust. They are the determined players out there who still believe that Akimbo shotguns are the way to gain respect in the online community. I know, that their belief will see them through the tough months of hatred and ridicule, that they will one day be remembered NOT as talentless scum with all the social life of a dead earth worm, but as the pioneers of the way we will all soon play first person shooters.
Fear not, for we will train you to be the best Modern Warfare players that you can be. Only the very best in the world of gaming shall teach you. We demand the best, and in return we supply the best.
Why are you still sitting there solider?! Get your arse online right now and whip those Rangers out, son! We will see you on the battlefield, admiring your dedication to the cause of building an MW2 Army we can all be proud of.
* Seriously though, if any of this applies to you, nobody likes you. Not your friends, not your mother, not even your dog. Nobody.
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