The MW2 Army*

“Men, this stuff that some sources sling around about Gamers wanting out of this war, not wanting to play this game, is a crock of bullshit. Gamers love to fight, traditionally. All real Gamers love the sting and clash of battle. You are here today for three reasons. First, because you are here to defend your flags and your friends. Second, you are here for your own self-respect, because you would not want to be playing anything else. Third, you are here because you are real Gamers and all real Gamers like to fight. When you, here, every one of you, were kids, you all admired the champion PacMan player, the fastest speed-runner, the toughest boxer, the big league Fifa players, and the All-American Madden football players.

Gamers love a winner. Gamers will not tolerate losing. Gamers despise cowards. Gamers play to win all of the time. I wouldn’t give a hoot in hell for a player who lost and laughed.” – General Patton.

Blog 5 - Uncle Sam

Did you hear that people? You damn well better have, because there is no way I could have put it better myself. What General Patton (should have) said to his troops, is what I want to convey into your minds, right now. I address you all with my hand held on my heart, and a tone of voice I reserve only for moments of the utmost importance. Modern Warfare 2, is dying.

It is not a healthy supply of soldiers which we are lacking, no sir. What we lack are the players with enough testicular-fortitude to get the game played right. The way God intended it to be played. It would appear, to both myself and my superiors, that some players believe that top of the range machine guns armed with bullets are the way forward in winning this game. Today I write before you to say that this is NOT the way Modern Warfare 2 wants you to win this war!

Some people out there are doing what they can to maintain order. They’re the brave men and women out there, using sniper rifles on Rust. They are the determined players out there who still believe that Akimbo shotguns are the way to gain respect in the online community. I know, that their belief will see them through the tough months of hatred and ridicule, that they will one day be remembered NOT as talentless scum with all the social life of a dead earth worm, but as the pioneers of the way we will all soon play first person shooters.

Fear not, for we will train you to be the best Modern Warfare players that you can be. Only the very best in the world of gaming shall teach you. We demand the best, and in return we supply the best.

Take your thumb off that left joystick. You won

Why are you still sitting there solider?! Get your arse online right now and whip those Rangers out, son! We will see you on the battlefield, admiring your dedication to the cause of building an MW2 Army we can all be proud of.

* Seriously though, if any of this applies to you, nobody likes you. Not your friends, not your mother, not even your dog. Nobody.







4 responses to “The MW2 Army*”

  1. DelTorroElSorrow avatar

    I must sound like I’m purposefully being the exception but…I AM A GAMER…AND I DON’T PLAY TO WIN.

    It’s better to have fun and lose than it is to win a dull game.

  2. Kat avatar

    Haha! That’s very funny Dunk.

    I haven’t played for a while partly due to all the horror stories going around. That and I have a billion games I’m halfway through. I’m getting sick of hearing about glitches and hacks and whatnot. Just play the damn game people >.<

  3. Markatansky avatar

    I find I have the most fun when I’m constantly pressing for victory. I have several friends I jsut refuse to play with purely because if we’re winning they’ll just drag the game out for the sake of points. Which I don’t find fun.

  4. higgeh avatar

    im sick of the glitches now but nothing beats when the game loads up and there isnt one green arrow on the map. or the moment when the 12 year old on the other team realises that no matter how many glitches he uses and how many times he tries to shoot people with the akimbo shotguns he just fails at life

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