Rabbit On…

…and no, I’m not talking about any devices purchasable from Ann Summers… not this time anyway.

Meet Cloud. He is my lovely pet rabbit, well I say pet, but he is more of a lodger… a lodger that doesn’t pay for a thing, might I add (I wish somebody would give me delicious donuts made out of seeds for free!). Named after the spiky haired Final Fantasy VII character, Cloud Strife, Cloud is cute, dislikes carrots and is exceedingly stubborn. Since we met each other 6 years ago when I bought him as a little companion whilst I was at university, he grew a laid back personality and the ability to enjoy the taste of cables. Not good when you own a lot of games consoles, all of which involve about 3 or 4 cables on each machine. He is a house bunny and lives indoors so me and him spend a lot of time with each other, from when he’s stamping his foot loudly because I had accidentally scared the crap out of him when opening the kitchen door in the dark to just grab a drink, or when he’s playfully running around the house and destroying the plants that I attempted to grow last year.

Whilst giving Cloud a treat (mainly as a bribing tool for getting a photo of him), it got me thinking about other Rabbits and how there are actually many incarnations of bunny across video games, some of which are as nearly as mentally crazed as my dear little ‘Mr. Cloudy Bunnykins’. From variations on the theme of Pokémon, to freelance detectives and space explorers, bunnies are blummin’ everywhere!

Cloud can be quite artful and devious, and is often described as a ‘hyperkinetic rabbity thing’ like Max from ‘Sam & Max’. Sam and his bunny chum and police partner Max are mostly found solving crimes in some sort of ironic way when not getting canned by Lucas Arts. But under developer Telltale Games they are solving crimes once more and you can have a hearty chortle at the duo’s crime fighting capers. Cloud, on the other hand, has yet to solve any crimes – in fact he is more likely to be the culprit of the crime. At the moment he is the prime suspect in a series of assaults on helpless cacti, the theft of a chili pepper, (though he lived to regret that one) and the vandalism of a pair of French Connection jeans… my jeans… my jeans that are now bunny distressed jeans (And if you too would like to own a pair of fashionable, bunny distressed jeans… I offer a very reasonable design service starting at just £100).

Some of the most mental rabbits of recent years have got to be the ‘Raving Rabbids’. These err, ‘hare-raising’ things from ‘Rayman Raving Rabbids’ are famous for their slapstick comedy traits and their obsession for wielding toilet plungers and cross dressing. They are flipping crazy, but I do think Cloud would fit in quite well in the ‘Rabbid’ world and personally think he could emulate their cow flinging skills quite well, as I have seen his skills in flinging multiple cactus plants. Daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaar!

In Aesop’s ‘The Tortoise and the Hare’ – the cheeky hare, confident in his speedy winning abilities, decides to have a little sleep whilst the tortoise then over-takes and wins the race. But the ‘Jazz Jackrabbit’ PC games show that 3,000 years into the future, the feud will still be going strong – and bunnies still have a hatred for the shelled creatures, and if they do – it would explain one thing. The cover of my iPhone looks quite similar toast grenade (so I’ve been told) or a shell… a tortoise shell! As far as I’m aware Cloud doesn’t have any vendetta against tortoises, though he has never come into contact with a real life tortoise, but it would explain why he wouldn’t let me take his photo close up because he confused it with a tortoise shell! Either that, or he thought I was going to blow him up.

One thing you won’t see my bunny doing (even 3000 years into the future) is shouting “do a barrel roll” – yes he’s a rabbit and he can’t talk, but even if he could he’s far too lazy to give out any sort of advice to fellow comrades. Luckily he has no comrades, well I guess I’m probably his comrade, though he would never admit it… to anyone… even if he could talk. Peppy Hare from ‘Star Fox’ on the other hand is a rabbit you can trust, you can trust him with looking after the Great Fox whilst you’re on an away mission, you can trust him when taking control of the Cornerian Army. Unlike Cloud, who you can’t trust with Limited Edition Space Channel 5 headphones with a rather long cable left on a coffee table.

The most famous of all the video games pets are Pokémon, and there are a few types of rabbit Pokémon including Buneary and Lopunny from Pokémon Diamond and Pearl. These bunnies also come with fighting abilities like a sucker punch to the face with their long ears. They also use ‘Trick’, which if we’ve learned anything from Bugs Bunny cartoons, must be when they dress up as a lady to confuse Elmer Fudd. Well, Lobunny does look a little like Jessica Simpson. Plusle and Minun from Pokémon Ruby and Sapphire have special electric powers and can give you a jolt up the backside with a bolt of electricity. I decided to see if fellow bunny Cloud also has some special abilities I might be able to use to beat an unsuspecting sister (my own sister that is, not a nun)

So here I am introducing to you Cloud, the Pokémon, with his special abilities: the ability to hide his little arms and pretend he’s a seal; the ability to hate carrots but love carrot flavoured foods; the ability to poop guiltily in the corner and most of all, the ability to chew though cables without getting electrocuted, which to me means he’s probably an electric type Pokémon and all this cable nibbling is his attempt to evolve into ‘Cloudachu’! And eventually get his own TV show in Japan.