My Rage Bar

I’m a creature of impulse and instinct, if I slow down I’ll stop, and once I’ve stopped I have to really push myself to get going again. Maybe I’m like a shark. I need to keep moving or I’ll drown, but then thinking about it, I’m more of a fighter than a biter. I could be Taz, the Tazmanian Devil, swirling and screeching tiI I run out of steam and am left dazed and confused by the stillness, but hang on…actually nah, he has no weapons.

OH! I know, I’m like WOLVERINE!!! A girly version, less hairy and with slightly smaller muscles!

I love a good scrap, not a serious one you must understand. I don’t go out trying to cause rows on the school run or in Asda over the twat in front of me mass hoarding all the bread rolls on a beautiful summer’s day. I don’t get annoyed in queues or get road rage or shout at the teenagers when they do the garden hopping thing (but that’s cause I’m jealous of them I suppose, that game was always my favourite!) I like a play fight, a mess about argument, over anything, I’m not fussy. Chances are if I’m talking to you, I’m trying to wind you up and entice you into my game. This is why XBL makes me so happy, there’s always some one there that’s up for a (virtual) ruck.

So I join in with something shooty, the lobby fills up and the game begins. 3, 2, 1 GO!/FIGHT!/SLAY!.

My first encounter of any match almost always results in my death. That’s not very Wolvie-like I know, I’m unfocused, it’s a kick up the arse and my rage bar remains empty. If I was like the Hulk, perhaps it would fill slightly but I’m not, BUB! On the respawn I make kills, one maybe two, before death…again but it doesn’t matter, I can feel the bloodlust start to coarse through my veins. Another spawn, a few more victories. I can smell the fear of my victims as they think “Hey wait a sec! That dude with the girly name is actually scoring points!”.

The rest of the match is carnage, there are bodies and bullets being flung around everywhere, it’s beautiful! I’m in a state of frenzy, just as long as I keep that rage bar filled up.

I’m far from being awesome, I know it, I just enjoy the killing so much that I’ve gotten sorta good at it sometimes. It’s the excitement, the challenge, the flow of the game. “Zen moments” of knowing exactly what’s coming next make me feel unbeatable!

Of course every now and then I come across people who are *cough* betterthanme *cough* (or hax0rs…yeah that’s more like it!) I try, I die, I try and I die. This depletes my rage bar very quickly. Those annoying types who actually use their brains in shooters for steath and tactics are my biggest weakness, if I can’t see my target, I lose momentum, I lose interest and, well, lose.

So there you have it, I just told you how to defeat me. If you ever find yourself in a match with the KillerChick, the best thing you can do is run away and hide!

RAAAAAAAWRRR!!!