W.L.T.M. A Gamer With G.S.O.H

I have a few things that don’t particularly go in my favour. I’m over 35, I’m a Dad and sadly my biggest affliction seems to be that I’m a gamer, although some would argue that I haven’t been blessed in the looks department either! All of these are pretty normal complaints for a great many people, but I’m also faced with the fact that I’m single. Yes, the single life can be great, I can do what I want when I want, starfish the whole bed at night, and watch whatever channel I so desire (as long as CBBC is off air). Yes, the single life is great.

Well, actually, it’s not always brilliant, it can be desperately lonely at times, especially over the recent festive season when there is no one special to exchange gifts with, cuddle etc. So what does the single gamer do to try and get a date? It seems that the only way forward is online dating, which I have been partaking of for months now – want to know what it’s like to be a single gamer looking for a date/relationship?

You don’t have to be pissed to Internet date. But it helps.

You don’t have to be pissed to Internet date. But it helps. Truth be known, it could be summed up in a word that starts with “Sh” and ends in “ite”, but that wouldn’t be much of a read so I had to delve a bit further. Dating sites are plentiful on the Internet but not all of them work, it would seem, and some charge a subscription, which I refuse point blank to pay. Some will get you guaranteed sex that night in your town, but that’s not what I’m after so I opted for one of the most popular sites that offers free dating. Away I went. I must confess that on my profile I had “gaming” down as an interest and mentioned nothing more of it, why? Well, I’m not thick! I realise that being a gamer still carries a social stigma with it that may put people off well before they get to even know you, sad I know, and I felt like I was letting gamers down by hiding one of my greatest pleasures in life. So as a discreet gamer I looked at thousands of profiles, messaged hundreds of women and waited patiently, and waited, and waited, you get the picture. Plenty of women looked at my profile but less than five actually got in touch, where was I going wrong? I decided to see if there were any specialist dating sites for gamers, which could be one of my worst decisions ever.

It’s real! The shame.

It’s real! The shame. As I trawled countless sites I discovered that gaming is still regarded as a niche when it comes to online dating. If I wanted to urinate over someone for a date – hundreds of sites. If I wanted to date someone with a knowledge of wearing rubber outfits – sites galore, but dating somone to play games with – very few. I ended up choosing to sign up for a site with a leaning towards World of Warcraft, which I don’t play, but it offered free dating, so off I went into the realms. That is, until I noticed the ratio of men to women on the site which equates to around 100:1, not the best place to hook up. After some time I had only received two views on my profile, and one of them was from a straight guy, so I decided to stop flogging the dead horse. At this point I was feeling pretty un-dateable and pulled the plug on all my profiles, online dating had beaten me, I’d lost the fight and I had resigned myself to a single life. Right up until the point in time where I decided to write this article.

Love is…a weighted companion cube.

Love is…a weighted companion cube. I thought it would be an idea to actually ask some women about the whole dating and gaming thing and it was here where I had my eyes well and truly opened. I was looking for both gamers and non-gamers to gauge opinion on the whole thing when I stumbled across the profile of “Roadkill Barbie” and was instantly put to shame. Here was a 27 year old woman admitting up front to a liking for all things gamey, especially Left 4 Dead and Portal. I had to find out her stance on the whole dating thing, so I messaged her ( as you do on these sites) and by the grace of Glados she replied and was up for some questioning. I have to point out that I only came across this profile by entering various gaming related keywords in search engines on a site, otherwise I’d have never seen Roadkill Barbie at all. My message to her was as a stranger, we’d never conversed before, to my delight it was like hitting the jackpot.

Roadkill Barbie has a name in the real world, like us all, Kerri as she will now be known didn’t know what she’d let herself in for with a Q and A session from yours truly. I asked Kerri if she felt pre-judged by people who see that she is an ardent gamer, ” Throughout the years I’ve found that I generally am pre-judged, especially if someone I’m talking to hasn’t seen or met me. It seems that a lot of people expect a gamer, particularly a female one, to look like a total geek with a face like a bulldog eating hot chips.” Hmm, good answer, I like her style. Kerri told me that this also goes for female friends too, ” I’d say a lot of females I talk to find that I might be boring or have nothing in common with them as I can relate more to the interests of men,” which would explain, to a degree, why I was having such trouble finding anyone suitable, good old stereotypes. It’s apparent to me that some women are put off by gaming but did Kerri feel that it was the same for guys? ” Guys aren’t really put off with me being a gamer, it creates a lot of attention (some unwanted!) and can be a good ice breaker for them, as well as myself. I’m not sure if they just expect me to play stuff like Nintendogs now and then and class myself as a serious gamer.” Kerri told me that many guys are surprised that she’s been playing games for over twenty years and has more experience of games than them, this may put prospective dates off. Wow! I had to pinch myself to see that I wasn’t dreaming, this was sounding more and more like the perfect woman to me, could it get any better?

I have the wedding cake ready.

I have the wedding cake ready. I asked Kerri about dating non-gamers and if that was an issue for her, ” Dating guys that are non gamers isn’t really an issue with me. I’ve been on dates with fellas that don’t really regard gaming as a quality past time, but if I have to put up with their non-gaming, then they should certainly be able to put up with my gaming!” Wise words indeed, then she said something strange about not playing games! ” It’s not as though it’s an addiction for me, I can stop when I want to or even go a couple of days without playing (even if I do still think about it!).” Finally I wanted to know how important it was for Kerri to be honest about her gaming on her profile, ” My main reason for putting in so many of my likes was an attempt to weed out guys that were only interested in close encounters of the bedroom kind, and to give a better insight in to who I am. Honesty, as a whole, is quite important to me.” Well, there you have it, someone, at last, who speaks sense and appreciates what it’s like to be a gamer and single. My heart went all fluttery, I wasn’t alone, I didn’t feel like the proverbial spare prick anymore, there was light at the end of the tunnel.

This normal woman just read my new profile.

This normal woman just read my new profile. The eagle eyed ones out there may recall that I wanted opinion from non-gamers too and I did message a few to ask if they would be willing to answer some questions. None answered! Which really does sum it all up. In a fit of new found energy I completely re-wrote my dating profile to include my love of games, without exception. I had previously been trying to be someone I thought woman wanted me to be, but that wasn’t me, I am a gamer and I’m damn proud of that fact. It took the honesty of a random woman’s profile to make me realise that, but I’m glad that I stumbled upon it. Now, what’s better? A coffee or playing some games?







9 responses to “W.L.T.M. A Gamer With G.S.O.H”

  1. Emily avatar

    I love your conclusion, Martin. I met my current boyfriend on OK Cupid and we’d both written a little summary of the games we liked. I’d been floating around the site for a while with a virtually empty profile and talked to a few people. I was very cautious about adding a gaming interest, but I’m really glad I did.

  2. Mark P avatar

    A subject I can relate to all too well. Braw feature. 🙂

  3. Kirsten avatar

    Fascinating. I decided long ago that I could only really be with another gamer. I couldn’t see any future in a relationship with someone who wouldn’t understand such a time consuming hobby. Luckily I met my husband in an online game 😀

  4. RoadKillBarbie avatar

    I have now fully read and am suitably impressed! You made me sound almost….human 😉

  5. Martin avatar

    I’d now love to tell you that my new profile has done the job, but it hasn’t, seems to have scared everyone away. I wasn’t really expecting any less though.
    Emily, it’s great to hear that it works, so glad you found somone through it.
    Mark, you feel my pain brother, one day we’ll look back on this and laugh.
    Kirsten, maybe the online gaming way us the way to go, you can actually hear who you are talking to abd that could be easier to judge sincerity with.
    Kerri, you’re about as normal as they come, it’s the normals that make us out to be less than we are. In fact we’re all normal here 🙂 thanks for your help and welcome to the gaming nirvana that is Ready-Up! Stay for a while. Coffee?

  6. TeldurUK avatar

    Don’t let the fact you’ve yet to have any luck with your new profile straight away put you off. You defiently should advertise what your into. Whoever you meet will find out that you play and write about games, so why not let them know straight away?

    My previous girlfriend was a big gamer, which was very cool. My current girlfriend is not by any means a gamer…and you know what? I find it somewhat refreshing. She understood from the word go that I work in a game shop, I play games and that I spend my free time writing about them..and (so far anyway), things seem to be going really well.

    Being with someone who isn’t a gamer sort of gives me a break from it. Time will tell if she’ll keep putting up with me 😀

  7. Simon avatar

    If I were a lady, I’d be on you like a rash, Martin. You is a hunk.

  8. Martin avatar

    Thank you Simon, I’ll bear that in mind if your sex change ever goes through 🙂

  9. Martin avatar

    Oh, and Teldur, I’ve learned not to give a fig about any lack of activity, I’ve made mistakes in the past so this time I’m willing to wait for the right one, if they exist.
    I’m not in any rush, luckily I have time on my side, the up of the situation being that, the longher I’m single the more awesome writing I can do.

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