Something strange is happening to me, I can feel it. I’m changing… maybe. For all I know I was already this way and it’s more of an awakening than a transformation. I’ve been fighting it for a long time. I’ve never been one to follow a crowd, to be drawn to what’s popular. I resist because I must, for fear of being labelled a sheep. I’m different goddamnit! I’m not like all the others, I play it for my own reasons! Well one reason – cause I pwn my friends at it. I don’t care about the campaign, honest. I totally skip the cutscenes cause I just want to get on with the killing. Who cares about the characters or the plot!? Booooring. You lot got me all wrong, just cause I’ve played a gazillion hours of a certain game, night after night since release doesn’t make it my favourite game ever, as if!!! It’s all about the kills, the headshots, the beat downs, the fact that I can win. I cannot and will not become one of the things I dread being labelled the most… a Halo fangirl!
Oh fine! You’re not buying it, I know. It’s time I came out of the closet, that tiny, glass closet that I have been curled up inside of all this time. It’s all this stupid book’s fault. I love you, Ready Up, I truly do but you’ve brought this confusion into my life. You tipped me over the edge. I thought ‘Hey, review a book!? Cool’ I saw it as an interesting and brand new challenge. I didn’t expect it to inspire me in such a way. I didn’t think it would truly interest me. But it did. It did more than that, it gave me a total gushing nerdgasm. The really indulgent kind, the kind that makes you forget yourself so completely that you don’t care in the slightest who knows about it.
Timelines, schematics, biology of alien species. It’s all a blur now, mixed up in my brain waiting to settle back down into a blend of ‘ordered’ information and images. Now there are those that despise Halo, there are some that don’t believe the Halo series to be anything special, I was one of them. In a way, I think I still am. But there’s something that keeps me coming back to the game, something that makes me squeal at the sight of a dude in a Master Chief costume or get excited over the Halo: Reach trailer that reveals next to nothing about the game and that’s the fun, the experience, the whole ‘strafe, shoot, jump, beat-down, shoot, plasma stick, BOOM, CHARGE!’ dance that is Halo. Yes it’s cheesy, yes the multiplayer is full of squeaky, whiny kids but I’m a Halo player and I’m proud. Halo is disliked by many an intelligent gamer, it’s over-hyped, it’s predictable, the graphics ain’t that good, the story isn’t as deep or original as the fans would have us believe and there is way too much back-tracking! But even so I accept its flaws. I love Spartans, I cackle at fleeing, wailing grunts and I’ve spent many a night owning n00bs while I trash talk and abusing corpses, maybe that makes me totally immature or something, but whatever, your mum likes men.
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