Gracious in Defeat… Well Almost

I always remember back from PE at school that warming up was important before undertaking any sporting event. Naturally I prepared in the best way possible. A quick walk to the shops to pick up some fizzy beverages, a couple packs of sweets and a tube of Pringles followed by an even quicker walk back due to the imminent rain shower.

Of course, I’m sure my old PE teacher wouldn’t have approved but my legs definitely felt it (slightly). Warm up complete I sat down and began to take my first steps in what I hoped to be a budding sporting career. Client downloaded (907 MB) and all patched (in mere seconds) I was ready to go. After the login (which went smoothly) it was time for me to create my sporting superstar.

I’m not going to bore you all with the finer details of avatar customisation, suffice to say there’s plenty of options to choose from and the end result always guarantees to give your avatar a real sporting “look”.

Feeling the energy levels from my earlier warm up starting to deplete, I thought it was now time to get into some sporting activity. On arrival I found myself in one of the “cities” where there was a helpful NPC stood waiting for me.

Over the course of the evening I spent my time getting to grips with the various game mechanics, the entry level tutorials ensuring I had, at the very least, the basic concept of what to do and where to go.

With the basic grasp of the game now under control I decided to jump into the action and after reading the numerous “Congratulations FC Barcelona” banners that were on display, no doubt a reference to their Champions League win over Man Utd only a few hours earlier, football was my first port of call; I was sure I could at least perform to some decent level.

Speaking to my helpful football coach I was given the task to go through a helpful set of tutorials, and ten minutes later I was fully versed in how to play the game. Enough talk though, I wanted to experience a match.

Not quite confident in my ability to take on real players, I opted for the practice match option, which in hindsight was probably the safest bet. I was hammered 4-0 by the AI as my fitness levels started to show mid way through the first half. Clearly my pre-warmup daddy jog to the shop before playing wasn’t enough. It wasn’t that I was steamrollered, in fact the score probably flattered the AI a touch and despite a spirited display in the second half where my 30 yard shot rocketed off the bar, the game was all but gone. I had failed at the first hurdle and despite the setback I was determined to get right back out there and figure out what went wrong. Even though I suffered a heavy defeat I at least managed to get my football level up to 3, progress at least!

I needed to figure out what was wrong though. My ability wasn’t too bad but it had more to do with my character’s fitness levels, which is where the game took a turn down a road I wasn’t expecting.

I had remembered there was a fitness centre from my earlier tutorials so it was there I headed and on arrival I took part in a crash course of fitness working on my major muscle groups. With the recent addition of the “Roland-Garros: The Virtual Tournament” it was tennis I was going to try out next. With that in mind I really went to work on my arm strength, with my biceps getting a good work out thanks to the timely button pressing on my keyboard in the training mini-game.

I found my bicep trainer who politely informed me that not only are biceps “nice to look at”, they are also the “envy of everyone”. Muscle groups, or particularly body areas (arms, legs, etc.) each have their own level rating and with my arms now at level 4 it was time to take in some tennis action.

Disaster struck though: that one last turn on the boxing machine ended up in my character all but fainting on the floor. A flashing warning on my UI telling me that I was now only 1% hydrated, something even I know isn’t good. Fear not though, there’s a health centre across the road and that’s where I headed next. It felt like I was back in a biology lesson as I learnt all about the proper nutrition and the care I had to put into my body if I was to succeed as a sporting superstar. Thankfully I wasn’t in too bad a shape and it was rectified by plenty of water intake, with that in mind it was time to start my tennis career.

Tune in next time where I look set to follow in the fine tradition of British Tennis players performing exceptionally well at the global level.