Slaughtering the sacred cows

Previously I’ve always tried to keep my posts nice and positive – after all, the Internet is more than full enough of idiots griping about all manner of things as it is.

What I want to talk about is gamings very own sacred cows; those games that no-one seems to be able to say a word against.

Two that spring immediately to mind are Halo 3 and Bioshock. I just don’t get all the fuss about both of these. Now, before you go accusing me of spouting off about games I haven’t played, I should point out that I do own and have completed both of these titles, but they both left me a bit “Meh” in slightly different ways.

Although I started out enjoying Bioshock, as it had extremely nice graphics and interesting levels; I quickly found the gameplay got quite boring, and the only thing that kept me playing on was to see where the storyline would lead. Oh, look, another Big Daddy. Yawn. The complete lack of having to worry about dying definitely didn’t help, as at a couple of points I was just respawning, running up to a big daddy, hitting him a couple of times with my melee weapon, and then dying and doing it again and again until he died.

Halo 3, on the other hand, had more variety of enemies and some big bosses, but the storyline was weak and insipid; the cutscene where someone jumps a jeep (Warthog? Whatever they call them) through a window had me open mouthed. Not in awe, but in shock that anyone would actually think that that was cool. I’m the sort of person who religiously watches cutscenes, and even I was tempted to skip most of them. Not to mention that the graphics are terrible compared to games like Call of Duty 4 or even the much earlier Gears of War.

I once told someone over Xbox Live whilst playing Burnout Revenge that I thought Halo was overrated and the reaction I got was similar to what you’d get if you touched up the body at an open casket funeral.

What I don’t understand is how we ended up in this situation. How did these games achieve Untouchable status?

I will admit that while we are talking about sacred cows, I have no doubt that someone will accuse me of being a hypocrite as I do, in fact, firmly believe that the sun shines out of the Grand Theft Auto series’ arse. But, even I could see that there was annoying pop-up in San Andreas, the aiming system was extremely frustrating and the characters had hands the size and shape of squared off hams. I still loved it, but I could admit to the fact it had flaws.

So, over to the comments; which games are your “sacred cows” that you’d like to see sent to the slaughterhouse? Which games can you just not believe are so popular? Or, the flip side, which games can you not hear a bad word about?


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11 responses to “Slaughtering the sacred cows”

  1. James avatar
    James

    Not sure if this is Aprilfoolus but ill chirp in.

    I HATE the GT series. I crash always and can never even pass the first section of GT3 without turning off my PS2 in fustration.

    I do adore the ‘Warriors’ series though and will hear nary a word bad about it 🙂 Well… no thats not true im quite accepting of insults to the series (which it gets a lot of).

  2. James avatar
    James

    Halo 3 is a bit of a letdown and dissapointment though, nice to see other ppl agree with me there.

  3. Tony avatar
    Tony

    No, this wasn’t an April Fool.

    If by the Warriors series you mean Dynasty Warriors then, yes, they are games that people get totally hooked on. I have wondered on occasion if they put subliminal messages in to them to brainwash you into buying all the sequels!

  4. Nick avatar
    Nick

    Couldn’t agree with you more about Halo! GRAW and Rainbow 6 Vegas are also very over-hyped for all their (many) flaws. My own guilty pleasure is Mass Effect. Though I read there are many problems with Mass Effect, my eyes are too biased to see through the near-perfect story and (what I find) brilliant control system.

  5. Kirsten avatar
    Kirsten

    Bioshock? WRONG! Bioshock is brilliant but I’ll give you Halo and i’ll raise you GTA and Gran Tourismo and every MGS since the first one. All treated with reverence – all disappointing or stupid. Also I think the controls for Zelda games are crap.

    Phew! Thanks Tony, I feel so much better for getting all that off my chest.

  6. James avatar
    James

    Im not toally sure myself why I keep buying the warriors games either… 8 games now and planning to buy the new dynasty warriors as well as the oncoming warriors orochi sequel, ill probably wind up buying the inevitable DW6 Xtreme legends addon pack n all too.

    Can I add Gears of War onto that list over too much hype games? Thanks 🙂

  7. Shaz avatar

    Every game has their flaws, there’ll never be a PERFECT game. Gamers have their own personal preferences whether it’d be cinematic plot, more gameplay than cutscenes, A.I, enviromental interaction, etc etc.

    I’m too lazy for arguements, we all could stand up for our own sacred cows but in the end, it’s boring if we’re all the same right?

  8. Michael avatar
    Michael

    Halo I liked, Halo 2 was OK, Halo 3… meh. The GTA games; I’ll play them but they’re not games that I MUST HAVE! I never understood the fuss about the Resident Evil series either – I liked 4, I admit, so I tried Zero (and I played CV on the Dreamcast too). Rubbish! I like the MGS series though

    Think that’s all…

  9. Simes avatar

    Definitely Gears of War. A complete case of ZOMGTEHGRAFIX over substance.

    Also, Mario. Did not, do not, and never will understand the appeal.

  10. Martin avatar
    Martin

    Wow what a can of worms you’ve opened, but I agree with Halo 3 and the GTA games also the later GT games ie. 3&4. The one that gets me is Forza 2, yup it looks and plays good but 40 lap races-no way. And sad to say never quite got Oblivion, just too damned big and statty.

  11. Zoey avatar
    Zoey

    I hated Gears of War and just could not get into it. No idea why!

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