Press SeX to Continue – Gay Marriage (NSFW)

You can fuck the same sex like a horny goat on viagra…

Welcome to the kinky corner of Ready Up. Here we can relish in the naked form, both male and female, and what better person to guide you than me. Zoey at your service, your resident sexpert both in and out of the virtual world. This year the one political topic that’s been on everyone’s lips is gay marriage. Whether you live in the UK, the states or even Uruguay you can’t have hidden from the immense amount of supporters and bigots. Needless to say I am all for equal rights so in celebration of the gay marriage bill being passed in the commons I thought I would look at some of the places you can tie the knot with your same sex partner in the virtual world. There are an immense number of games in which you can fuck the same sex like a horny goat on viagra but surprisingly few in which you could show your love longterm. With the laws in the real world changing will we end up with more virtual options in the next generation? I imagine so. So here’s to a future filled with digital naked lesbian weddings!

So first up, Fable III. With its sumptuous scenery, Albion makes a lovely backdrop for your wedding and there are places to suit every budget. Whether you want a lavish formal wedding or merely an intimate get together, Peter Molyneux’s pixelated paradise can provide it. And hey, the population of Albion is so open minded that you need not limit your loyal lesbian lovemuffins. As long as no one accidentally sees you in the arms of another you can have a spouse in every town. Perfect for the bisexual amongst us who married our real life man but then fell for that cheeky little barmaid. Here’s a moving ceremony between a king and his lover:

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-pq2wUFPTOc[/youtube]

Next up is Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim. We all know that the lavish world created for the Bethesda series is beautiful and detailed so why not marry in those gorgeous lands? Sure you can’t marry another real person but there are plenty of prospective NPC partners roaming the game. Again, they’re not close-minded so gender and even race need not be a barrier to lifelong happines.

The Sims series is fairly renowned for its anything goes sex mods but the game has a softer side with the ability to marry your loved one in a small ceremony at home. I say softer side but let’s face it, you can build your home as whatever you want so the options are fairly expansive. You could build a mini chapel and have a thoroughly traditional ceremony, or you could build a bdsm dungeon and marry your slave whilst they wear nothing but their collar. Maybe the guests will join in the consumation. Either way, screenprints of your big day are a must. Why not act out your real life wedding and adorn your coffee cups with them?

The gay romance aspects of Dragon Age: Origins certainly gained the attention of both the unprejudiced, for its unbridled level of romance, and the ignorant, who were frankly appalled but who cares what they think? But numerous mods have allowed players to marry whomever they choose in a beautiful ceremony that frankly I would like in real life. Between the music, the escort, and that picturesque view I can’t think of a better way to marry your loved one.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EK9ZS5k6JuQ[/youtube]

You could ride a unicorn with your pants down and a pie on your head

Lastly, I have to mention my old favourite, Second Life. Now we all we know that in this hedonistic sandbox you can run around madly experiencing anything you’ve ever wanted so it should come as no great surprise that gay marriage is allowed here. You could ride a unicorn with your pants down and a pie on your head and the most people in this game will say is “Where did you get that mod?”. People have met their real life spouses and married them both on and off the screen and there’s no reason you shouldn’t do the same. Obviously this means you’ll have to save up your hard earned money in two worlds but with the level of customisation available you might as well personalise it. Whether it’s a private beach wedding, a medieval themed wedding, or some quick vows and then off to a sex club, the one thing these gamers won’t be questioning is the gender of your spouse.

So there we have it. A handful of places you can marry your same sex honey in the virtual world. Let’s hope that all these choices and more will soon be available, even when we put the controller down. Join me next time as we continue our journey into the world where sex and video games collide. And remember: it’s not demeaning or empowering, it’s just hot.