Time Gentlemen, Please!

Have you ever had one of those days where your evil self from the future travels back in time and kidnaps you while posing as a killer alien, so you devise a plan to stop this from ever happening by preventing the creation of the coat-hanger only for this, in turn, to really piss off Hitler and his army of robot dinosaurs? Oh, you have? Well, did the entire human race starve to death while you were watching back-to-back episodes of Magnum, PI? No, didn’t think so.

Time Gentlemen, Please! is a point-and-click adventure. Developed by Zombie Cow studios, it’s the sequel to the totally free Ben There, Dan That – this time it’s not free but it’s totally worth the asking price. The game itself is instantly endearing, as your eyes take in the graphical style of the adventure. The artwork is not as polished as you may see in mainstream titles but it’s packed with little quirks and touches which make you love it. The character animation will make you smile, and even the sight of a poor prisoner chained up in the Tower of London will make you chuckle.

Controlling the game is simple – as you would expect from a point-and-click – with a left click selecting the area on screen while you scrolk through your options using the right mouse button. There are one or two control issues. Sometimes you’ll click and nothing will happen, only for a second click in the same place to produce your desired results. This doesn’t detract from the gameplay in any way, it’s just something that occasionally happens.

The story is genuinely laugh out loud funny – I found myself guffawing like a loon at several points, from the general commentary on the incidental items in a scene to the likening of a tear in the fabric of time and space to a lady’s front bottom, the writing is top notch. What’s even more impressive is the inventory. Try combining objects to your heart’s content – every combo has a unique response. You can pass your time quite merrily just doing that.

The game in total, if you know where you’re going and how to do everything, takes around an hour and a half to solve. Believe me when I say that you’ll want to spend as much time with this charming title as you can – savour everything, explore everywhere so that you don’t miss a sparkling bit of writing or game design – including the SCUMM and text adventure sections. If you take that approach you can expect to get around six to eight hours out of this. And all for £2.99 – that’s 50p or less an hour. What else can you get that provides as much fun for as little outlay, other than a yo-yo?