Birthday Brooding

I’m 28 today. I’m not quite sure how I feel about the matter.

The birthday cake I desperately hope to receive
The birthday cake I hope to receive

To give you some insight into my current mindset I will offer you part of a conversation that took place a few days ago. As I distractedly flicked through Cosmopolitan magazine I aimed the below verbal projectile at my friend, who wore a bemused look on his face from beginning to end:

“Hmm, I’m sure glad I picked this magazine up today because every page seems to want to tell me that women are somehow supposed to find a way to stay in their early 20’s forever. Well I’m 28 and I really don’t care. I’m confident in myself. Those who achieve the right mentality will never feel daunted by growing older. I know what my qualities are and that they will be with me no matter how old I am. So I’m not concerned that I’m nearing 30 and I don’t have a regular income. Doesn’t bother me that I don’t have a house I can call my own. Or a family. Hell, I don’t even have a boyfriend. Did you know I don’t have a boyfriend? Oh man, I don’t have a boyfriend. Oh God, what’s happened to me? I’m literally watching my life slip away before my very eyes. My life is practically over and I’ve achieved nothing. Oh God, this isn’t happening. Somebody’s got to do something. You – you’ve got to do something. You’ve got to help me, man!”

By the time I reached the last sentence I was shaking my friend furiously by the shoulders in a bid for him to somehow manipulate time. It didn’t work. I’m still 28. And I wouldn’t recommend the approach to anyone else because it simply results in said friend making wise cracks about you not only being old but also outrageously senile.

VideogamesI’m a young’n at heart. I’m a gamer. I like to play with my artificially-controlled friends until the rising sun reminds me that I’m supposed to employ some kind of a time-sensitive schedule of daily activity. From the moment my family and I gathered in awe around that first household gaming system, a delectably inadequate Atari ST, gaming has been a mainstay to my life. As cheesy as it sounds, some of my most memorable and beautiful moments have involved gaming. Moments that, when I think of them, my heart becomes overwhelmed with nostalgia-infused emotion. That childhood Christmas that involved nothing but playing Pac-Man with my sisters and bingeing on delicious MI-inducing foods. My first taste of survival horror that instigated recurrent dreams of exploring wonderfully endearing mansions whilst face-gunning the more recalcitrant members of the walking dead. It’s moments such as these that have led games to being so ubiquitous in my life story thus far.

So yes, I’m 28 years old, but looking back I can see that games have helped to make many of those years ‘fun’. I turn to games for culture, entertainment and comfort – anyone close by me today will be exposing themselves to the sight of my fervent popping of those psychedelic little 1’s and 0’s.







8 responses to “Birthday Brooding”

  1. The Rook avatar
    The Rook

    Happy Birthday Celeste.

    I hope you get plenty of gaming done today as well? Did someone get you cake, cos I hear the cake is a lie. Hopefully not so today.

    Like you, I am a young’n at heart, a big kid. Yaaay for playing games.

    Have a great day whatever you decide to do on your day.

  2. Tony avatar

    Happy Birthday Celeste.

    Single, you say?

    The tender young age of 28, you say?

    *fires up Xbox Live Vision camera and prepares to send Celeste a birthday gift that MIGHT ever so slightly violate Live’s rules*


  3. Mark avatar

    The happiest of birthdays to you Celeste!

  4. I am gwailu avatar
    I am gwailu

    Surely the most important and memorable days of your 28 years involve meeting me and subsequent evenings getting drunk?

  5. arc14716 avatar

    Happy Birthday Celeste.

  6. Celeste avatar

    Rook – of course I’m gonna knuckle down to some serious gaming. My cake is real, being made by my sis and is coming on sun at my bbq. The candles might tell a bit of a lie though…

    Tony – ‘tender young age of 28’ – like it.

    Yes but gwailu, I can’t remember any of those times!

    Thanks for all the birthday wishes guys. 😀

  7. Scott avatar

    Happy belated Birthday wishes, Celeste.

    Would it help matters if I sent you an Ocarina? 😀

  8. Lorna avatar

    Good post 🙂 I feel the same way…I usually handle each birthday with ever increasing depression, apathy, and upset as the years tick on. I feel too young to be too old and having hit 30 last October, it was a weird time. I suppsose I expected some men in dark glasses to march into my house and remove my games consoles (a young hobby, tch), my plush Snorlax, my Joker poster, and my fiunkier clothes, leaving behind a copy of Woman’s Own, a twin set and pearls, and some knitting.

    This loathing and fear is inside my churning head though and as you say, we are aware of our good qualities (when we let ourselves). I don’t own my own home or have a family, or have a definitive achievement that I can wave above my head and say ‘fucking look at this world’, but hey, I’m working on it…and rather than crying my eyes out at the last birthday, despite it being a bastard of a milestone, I was a little more accepting…only a smidge mind. Gaming is one of those things that give Olay a run for their money…while I’m burning around Paradise City or shoving a prefect into a school locker, I’m forever young and on equal par with everyone else. Thank you games. 🙂

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