Press SeX to Continue – Dead or Alive Xtreme (NSFW)

Welcome to the kinky corner of Ready Up. Here we can relish in the naked form, both male and female, and what better person to guide you than me. Zoey at your service, your resident sexpert both in and out of the virtual world. I was going to write about the whole Dead or Alive (DoA) universe for this blog, but the more I remember how much fun I’d had in it, the more I realised that it had to be split into two. I mean, how could I not give the positively pornographic spin-off Xtreme Beach Volleyball its own blog? It would be criminal. It’s a game I shamelessly poured hours of my life in to and then again in the sequel, and indeed had to trade the second one in to get my life back.

So let’s start with what it is, both officially and in reality. Officially it’s a beach volleyball game using the girls from DoA in which teamwork and friendship are crucial to victory and shopping spree funding. In reality, it’s about buying the skimpiest “swimsuits” available, frolicking around with another girl in a secluded spot and playing strangely erotic mini-games. The swimsuits may start off as regular outfits but the more money you make the less material you can afford until eventually you end up with something like this:

Hardly something I would recommend swimming in but, yes, even girl-next-door Hitomi (see picture) is willing to wear these amazingly revealing designs. Let’s face it, 90% of real-life women do not have the figure for these outfits, but the 10% who do you’d love to see. Thankfully, in the DoA universe everyone comes with an athletic, perfect body and boobs that famously had individual physics engines to make sure they get that “natural” bounce (no woman’s boobs actually move that individually but sure, why not?) as you explore the game’s many activities. As per usual in DoA games, boob size can be increased by upping your age in the options, up to a slightly disturbing 99 years old. Just sit back and watch those boobs make blancmange look like concrete.

So, I mentioned mini-games. Well, there’s numerous things to keep you occupied if you don’t want to play volleyball. You can go off to a peaceful spot by yourself, or with a friend, and be treated to a short video of them splashing each other in the water, rolling around in sand, or straddling trees that were climbable. Of course, you have full camera control for all these events so you can fully enjoy the experience. If you prefer something more hands on then maybe some games by the pool would take your fancy. There’s races across floats, trying not to fall in (a perfect time to check out the age/boob slider), some good old fashioned sunbathing (but watch out or you will get bikini tan-lines. Looks like you’ll have to wear your skimpiest outfit for this one) or best of all – The Butt Battle. Seriously, that’s what it’s called. Two girls stand on a circular float and bump each other with their butts in order to push each other into the water. It’s pretty much luck based, but you’ll be too busy laughing with glee to care if you win.

Last but not least, I should mention the night time activities. Whilst most night activities are less pervy, more money making endeavours, they can still be fun. There’s plenty of card games from poker to blackjack, plus roulette and a slot machine themed for each girl. However, if you unlock enough costumes with the girls, you get gifted the ability to pole dance. Damn, I wish shopping made me able to do some of those moves… maybe if I wear something skimpier? I thought I’d leave you with a video of said pole dancing so enjoy as Lei Fang gives us a bit of a fashion show.

[youtube height=”295″]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kxJVxUNxqVA[/youtube]

Join me next time as we continue our journey into the world where sex and video games collide And remember: it’s not demeaning or empowering, it’s just hot.