The Politics Of Necrotics: Houses Of Parliament Zombie Gathering

If you’re planning on going to Central London this August 30th bank holiday, watch out – there will quite literally be zombies everywhere!

No, I’m not talking about an epidemic.  CURE (Citizens for Undead Rights and Equality) is gathering its zombified supporters and going straight to the Old Palace Yard, opposite the Houses of Parliament, to campaign for undead rights. Anyone is welcome to attend. CURE envisages the event to be a “highly-visible, good-natured gathering [that] will be the talk of Westminster as up to 100 zombies campaign for equal rights for the living dead…”

In May this year, CURE campaigned as a political party in the general election in four constituencies: Brighton Pavilion, Doncaster Central, Hitchin and Harpenden, and Twickenham. What’s more, it only came last in one of them, suggesting that people are at least partially willing to listen to the moans of the undead. Either that or zombies seemed like the lesser of two evils.

The campaign, endorsed by Capcom, is being led by CURE’s ­­­staunch head, Stacy Forsyth. Stacy, who will appear as a character in Capcom’s upcoming Xbox 360 survival horror title Dead Rising 2, is a stalwart advocate of undead rights. It’s testament to her commitment to CURE that, like a games industry Angelina Jolie, Stacy is giving any time she has to head CURE’s campaigns whilst she simultaneously works on the game.

As Stacy explains, “Our gathering will be loads of fun, and provide a real talking point in Westminster. We’re hoping that the spectacle will bring smiles to those in the area on bank holiday – but also make people think about the undeadly serious issues which face zombies these days”.

CURE’s efforts could be timely as the steady influx of undead-crammed games has saturated our store shelves. Not a single one of these games shows a necrotic body (the politically correct term for ‘zombie’) being intimate with a healthy person, rescuing them, or conducting any other life-sympathising behaviours. Rather, they are portrayed as mindless savages intent on eating as many people as post-death will allow.

So, are you a supporter or an opposer? Take a moment to consider CURE’s manifesto:

• To give the undead equal rights to the living.
• To make cemeteries more comfortable to its inhabitants.
• To integrate a robust social integration programme for the undead, curing society of its prejudices.
• To increase the minimum statutory retirement age to beyond death.
• To permit the marriage of living and the undead.
• To never claim expenses for duck ponds or moats.

Personally, I consider myself to be a supporter. However, I find myself eyeballing the first and third points of the manifesto like a post-G-virus William Birkin. Depending on how you read the first point, this could mean that the undead should be afforded equal rights to those of the living, or that they should be given the right to access copious amounts of grey matter. After all, we know this to be a mainstay of the necrotic diet. This rather inflames my concerns regarding point number three.

Assuming these requests are benign, the manifesto looks pretty sound. In fact, it wasn’t long ago that I found myself empathising with Bert, a down-on-his-luck necrotic body I was interviewing for an article. Bert had been out of work since he featured in Capcom’s original Resident Evil game. Once a respected artist, he recounted how people would nowadays call him “an embarrassment, with my ‘drool-ridden shirt’ and my ‘zombie Zimmer’”.

Bert even found these testaments were echoed throughout the games industry itself. He found it near impossible to secure another game role, with the industry increasingly favouring more agile and multi-skilled undead.

“Necrosis is not enough anymore”, Bert explained. “You’ve got to be speedy, sometimes even intelligent, like the Los Ganados in Resident Evil 4. Playing the interactive undead has become a pretty competitive profession.” I’d like to see CURE help unfortunate necrotics like Bert.

To show your support, exhibit your zombie dress-up skills for the chance to win a games console, or simply to grab a limited edition t-shirt, go along to the event. Make sure you pre-register your attendance at [email protected]. Visit http://www.votecure.com/vote/ for further details. The undead are simply itching to see you!