Press SeX to Continue – One Night With… Part 1 (NSFW)

Welcome to the kinky corner of Ready Up. Here we can relish in the naked form, both male and female, and what better person to guide you than me. Zoey at your service, your resident sexpert both in and out of the virtual world. As much as it seems easy (and great fun) to decide what counts as sexy (semi-naked perfectly groomed people with kinky tastes) and what definitely doesn’t (your grandpa dipped in blancmange) sometimes it is simply a matter of opinion. That’s why I wanted to find out what my fellow Ready Uppers consider sexy. I asked them “If you could spend the night with any videogames character who would it be and why?” and here are some of their… colourful responses:

no ‘Nude Raider’ patch, thank you kindly – I prefer things to be a little more classy when it comes to first dates.

Giles: Easy. My pick for ‘spend a night with’ would be Lara Croft, ideally in one of her more realistically proportioned guises – the original gen-before-last Lara’s pointy and blocky bits in place of her curves would probably be more trouble than they’re worth. Novel, sure, but a bit awkward methinks. We’d dance the night away, talk about the problems with Yetis these days and then, when it was time to skip to ‘the next level’… I’d make her spin three times anti-clockwise and jump forward – works 60% of the time, every time. And no ‘Nude Raider’ patch, thank you kindly – I prefer things to be a little more classy when it comes to first dates.

Lucy: Dante from DmC: Devil May Cry (the reboot). Have you seen that opening scene? ‘Nuff said really, but any demon hunting vigilante who looks as ripped as that is good in my books. Rebellious natures kind of do something to me too. Superhuman strength, dry wit, and let’s not forget the incredible amount of stamina. What more could you want?

Ben: Squall Leonhart. Without a shadow of a doubt. He’s the lone wolf who gets his heart melted by some witch, but bitch please, she can cast some spells, what happens when there’s no more monsters to draw magic from? At least I can work my magic the rest of his life! I mean let’s face it, who doesn’t fancy a mysterious man in a leather jacket with a decent salary? Especially when his SEED rank is up the highest – HELLO! And onto my next point; the gun blade. He’s got to have some decent arms to swing that thing about – and the finger action when he pulls the trigger? He’s got to be well practised at that by now. Failing that. Tidus. I’d fuck him ’til he cried. Although let’s face it, that wouldn’t be too hard.

I can only imagine he is a complete monster in bed… ooft!

Carly: My character would have to be Ken from Street Fighter 2, I have ALWAYS had a bit of a crush on him! He is a complete cocky bastard, normally I cannot stand that in a character but for some reason it works perfectly for him. But he is a good looking guy, who knows how to throw his fists about and come out a champ, what’s not to like? I can only imagine he is a complete monster in bed… ooft!

If you don’t agree with the Ready Uppers choices maybe it’ll come up next time as I expose more longings within the group, but until then I have to ponder over my own choice. Choosing just one is so taxing… join me next time as we continue our journey into the world where sex and video games collide. And remember: it’s not demeaning or empowering, it’s just hot.