In the two years that I have been writing for Ready Up, I have often found that my inner journo craves to write about the most amazing things on the planet. I find it far easier and more rewarding to gush about something wonderful than reflect on why something sucked (yeah… bar those few articles about my frustration with Gears of War glitches once a month!)
In my last article I raved about the simple things in life, and that progression needn’t always be necessary. Yet of course every generation must be subject to development and change and our gaming lifestyles are no different.
The point of evolution? To filter out the mistakes for the sake of creating something even better. But, my dear gamers, this needn’t be a completely bad thing for what gets left on the trash heap.
If it wasn’t for our blunders, we wouldn’t be sitting here with our Xbox 360’s or PlayStation 3’s playing controller-less games on 3D TV screens. So here is the first installment of my mini series – Epic Fails, an ode to the screw ups, the not so greats and the what on earth did you do that fors… we owe them a lot!
Sega Mega CD
We all know about a little console called the Sega Mega Drive and how fabulous and wonderful it was, but unfortunately Sega wasn’t familiar with the term ‘quit while you’re ahead’.
Enter the Sega Mega CD circa 1991-93, a bulky attachment that could clip to a Mega Drive to give it a new lease of life using CD technology to run games. Sounds like a good idea in principle but unfortunately Sega seemed to conveniently overlook a couple of tiny issues.
The biggest of the bunch was the fact that the Mega Drive boasted a whopping palette of only 512 colours for its display, of which only 64 could be shown on screen at any one time… I know, it’s breathtaking! Their genius idea of introducing full motion video (FMV) technology on a console that was designed to play from cartridges, as good as it seemed in theory, resulted in highly pixelated video displays the size of a Cook’s box of matches on screen. *Face-Palm*.
Although their idea of introducing games run from CD’s was obviously the direction that gaming would take, implementing it on a console that had 64k of RAM wasn’t up there with mastermind blueprints for plans.
Nice idea, Sega but my first Family Fortunes style ‘NEEERR ERRRRR’ goes to you, especially after a second attempt in the 32X also failed. Oh, Sega! On a side note Mega CD title Night Trap was pretty cool, not only for the awesome theme of mansion owning vampires, but also for being one of the first games to be scrutinized by the government and labelled a ‘Video Game Nasty’
Amstrad GX4000
That’s right, back in 1990 the company that turned my fellow cockney boy Alan Sugar into that guy who sacks people on TV also attempted to claim a piece of the console market.
Just before the time of the Sega Mega Drive and Super Nintendo Entertainment System, the gaming industry was getting ready for a boom. The Del Boy style entrepreneur Mr Sugar thought that compiling components from a CPC 6128 Plus home computer and styling them into a video games console was a quids-in idea, and that success in the market would be effortless.
Unfortunately for Alan, in a market soon dominated by Sega and Nintendo the console struggled to be supported with titles that could compete with the number and variety of games churned out by the Japanese giants. Upon release the console had very few titles, some taking months after before actually being available to play.
To add insult to injury, within the consoles life span less than 40 games were released, many being old cassette games from the CPC simply redistributed on a cartridge instead of the old cassette.
This bumped the price from £3 to £25 per game, and for a dismal array of options available, gamers simply were not willing to shell out the moolah when the likes of Sega and Nintendo were releasing exciting new games and porting popular arcade titles also.
While the technical specs proved stronger on paper than the popular Mega Drive, ultimately the console’s hardware setup couldn’t utilize its potential or play enough titles, and therefore lost out. Amstrad GX4000 – You’re Fired!
Vectrex
In 1982, the Vectrex console decided to place bets on creating a console that utilized vector based graphics for its games. Popular consoles of the time, such as the Atari 2600, used raster graphic displays that appeared pixelated, although I personally hold a soft spot for the blocky looking games of my youth such as Pac-Man or Kaboom!
Vector graphics allowed for much higher quality displays and were used in many arcade cabinets at the time. Vectrex manufacturer Smith Engineering hoped that this would help them cash in a profit by offering ports of arcade games on a smaller scale, without sacrificing the quality of the display.
As a result, and unlike other video game consoles of the time, the Vectrex came with a built in monitor which allowed it to display its specialist vector graphics system using thin films of plastic that attached to the monitor to add different displays and colours for the games.
While the console itself was advanced in many respects (still holding a cult status with many retro gamers) it ultimately picked the wrong side of a technology battle, similar to the VHS vs Betamax battle of the same time. On top of this the gaming industry at the time, specifically within North America and the Western market, suffered huge financial setbacks and doubts from consumers.
At a time where people were unsure of the potential success of the growing video game industry, gamers ultimately bought into the consoles which offered the most games and hooked up to home television sets instead. Under different circumstances the console could have seen a different fate. So close, Vectrex, but not quite!
Atari Jaguar
Released in 1993, the Atari Jaguar was the first cartridge-based console to boast 64-bit capabilities. It was designed to rival the Mega Drive and the SNES while being cost-effective to make and affordable to buy for the public.
The console itself was technically strong, and earned respect with titles such as Alien Vs Predator which is still counted as a classic today. Unfortunately the production time of the console became its downfall, being subject to ‘too little too late’.
By the time the Jaguar was released its rivals were going strong and also working on developments of their own, having been in control of the market for nearly two years. 
The Jaguar had a lot to prove to tempt people away from the now iconic Sonic or Mario. If that wasn’t enough, within 18 months of the Jaguar’s release the world was introduced to the Sony PlayStation which ultimately changed the world of gaming entirely.
Had the Jaguar arrived even a year earlier, it could have been on many gamers’ lists as an important console of our time. Instead, Atari stopped to think just a little too long and not far enough about its development. By the time it finally hit shelves they inevitably led the market for a matter of months before being made obsolete. If only the kitty had a few more claws!
Nintendo Virtual Boy
By 1995 and in an attempt to keep a foot in the ever changing gaming market, Nintendo released the Virtual Boy, a battery operated headset that displayed 3D graphics for its games. Worn like orthodontic head wear, the Virtual Boy held a small display in front of the eye-line that contained all the gizmos needed to make it appear in three dimensions.
Similar to graphics of a Game Boy, the Virtual Boy had to adopt a restricted colour display in order to utilize the 3D technology. The fact that it was portable (running on everyday batteries) meant that the gizmo drained juice quicker than Charlie Sheen in an off license. Unlike the murky green already associated with Game Boy, this time the Virtual Boy opted for red hues, simply as they took the least amount of battery power to display.
Similar to the fate of the Jaguar, the gaming market was far too preoccupied with the power of the PlayStation to feel the need to strap into head wear to play games that were now miles behind. As a result, it had the lifespan of a year. I’m sure that Nintendo had the best intentions and probably thought that their design would pave the way for Geordi La Forge’s Star Trek VISOR, in reality they made a headset that had more in common with a Henry Hoover than something from a science fiction show.
In hindsight, if it wasn’t for the cock ups known as gaming past, would we really have the consoles we do today? They may not have been the greatest, most successful inventions ever created, but they still had their part to play, and for that, us gamers should be truly grateful.
Epic Fails, we salute you!
Coming soon Epic Fails: Part 2 – Handhelds…
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