Zombie Nation

Translated from the incoherent grumbling and groaning

Minutes of the meeting of the New People’s Committee
Date: 17th April XXXX
Present: All members
Apologies: Jockey [was late to attend; said he had difficulty finding a ride]

A warm welcome is extended to all Committee members and everyone is thanked for their continual devotion to the cause.

Everyone has settled down after our change of venue. The heads of the Committee extend their apologies to those who were massacred by accident, we did not know that the building had been rendered extremely fragile by skirmishes earlier in the month. It was also noted that in future, venues with wider entrances should be chosen in order to accommodate for Tank’s larger frame.

Witch has requested that we alternate times of meetings. Since today’s meeting has been held at night, the next meeting will be held during the daylight hours. Reason given: Witch feels that she suffers from a disorder which leads to greatly altered states of feeling depending on the time of day. The Committee has noted her self diagnoses (she was generally weepy tonight except for one or two violent outbursts) and provided assurance that her condition will be taken into account.

Plans for National Hug a ‘Survivor’ Day have been abandoned after the result of the trial run in the Southern States. It seems that the ‘Survivors’ were unaware of the day and responded in a negative manner. Perhaps better publicity would help; we are told there were not even any posters in the area. Plans are suspended pending further review.

Smoker has expressed a wish to be called by a different name. Being allergic to tobacco himself, and being a starter of the Anti-Smoking Association, he feels that his title promotes a certain image that he wishes to avoid. Instead, he wishes to be known as ‘Tim’. It was pointed out that this may be a difficulty if he proposed the name change for all of his kind. Other alternatives were proposed such as Puffer, Inhaler, Wisp or even Smoky the Bandit although the latter suggestion was immediately ignored. Pending survey, Smoker will remain as Smoker for now, unless he wishes to submit an application for individual name change. Smoker then registered his protest, which was duly noted and to placate him, an official name badge reading ‘Tim’ is in the process of being scratched out on a bit of wood.

All members of the committee are reminded to help keep the environment tidy. Since the ‘apocalypse’ occurred, it has been difficult to rebuild, particularly since the ‘Survivors’ keep interrupting our neighbourhood Search-and-Repair brigades. These were originally set up with the thought that no ‘survivor’ would be running through disused buildings, so the brigades could go ahead with cleanup. Still, until a proper system is in place, all members are encouraged to tidy up after themselves and maintain the areas they are responsible for.

There has been some success in the Recycle A Scavenged Frying Pan campaign, although the committee hears that there are still quite a few lying around out there. An initiative is underway for local communities to exchange the recycled frying pans for useful amenities and services.

New volunteers for replenishing the Survivors’ safety rooms are needed. As they move from location to location, they take supplies as necessary. Where the weapons come from has been a subject of heated debate as the original plan was to stock safety rooms with medical supplies only. Situation to be carefully reviewed.

The meeting was adjourned shortly before daybreak. The Committee thanked everyone for attending and encouraged members to keep up the good work.