Gaming Insomnia [Stage 2 – Single Player]

(click the scream for Stage 1)

DISCLAIMER!: The following words, comment, opinions, and picture were written, thought of, and edited at the time stamp stated. I take no responsibility for the results which occurred during the writing therein. I do, however, take full responsibility for any words contained within brackets, which were added later on after I was fully rested and curious about what I had written before.

03:04am – Okay, it’s time to break into that shelf of games which everyone dreads reaching for: forgotten games I should have played more. We all have this shelf. You buy a game, you love it, you adore it, and then a new series of Top Gear begins or something and it gets easily cast aside and left to weep quietly to itself wondering where it had gone wrong. Well no more I say! Come here Alan Wake.

03:06am – Oh my God, opening the super sexy special edition has actually filled me with genuine regret for the neglect. I almost want to apologise to the poor thing!

03:07am – I can’t believe I just apologised to an inanimate object.

03:23am – Alan Wake is a genuinely creepy experience on its own, but I swear everytime I turn my head or dart my eyes too fast while looking at the screen I see a figure standing in the corner of my room.

My 4am drink of choice. Illegal in all States of America.

03:31am – Figured out what it was! You know how sometimes you have a squiggly line that appears in your eye fluid but everytime you try and look directly at it, it just floats back into the edge of your peripheral vision? Yeah, it was that (I’m not proud of this realisation, I was very much so at the time though).

03:57am – I’m finding myself strangely connected with Mr. Wake at the moment. He appears to be a writer who’s spending an exorbitant amount of time searching for caffeinated beverages.

03:59am – Oh! Caffeinated beverage! I could actually go for one of those right now. It’s time to break out the ‘big guns’ (actual name of the ‘big gun’ drink removed after I decided a Google Splurp Spider would eat that up and link it to Ready-Up for all eternity. Look at the picture for the particular beverage which I would recommend to each and every student on a deadline) and then rock some Rock Band until my finger tips bleed!

04:09am – * BURP! * – shouldn’t have drunk that so fast. I’m going to go for the ultimate Rock Band setlist achievement! I can do it! With more energy drinks than blood flowing through my veins, anything is possible. (We can clearly see here that lack of sleep causes clichéd third person confidence. Take note scientists).

04:55am – This is already starting to seriously anger me. I see the note, I hear the note, I press the button for the note at the exact time I am both seeing and hearing said note… AND I MISS! I want to blame calibration, but we all know that anybody who does that has the testicular-fortitude of a soggy carrot.

04:58am – OH YOU GOD **** SON OF A *****! ****! ******* ***** ****! I will end you! You hear me Rock Band?! I WILL FONG YOU! Your insides will be out! Your outsides will be in! Your entrails will become your extrails!… I will rip… all the p… Pain! Lots of pain! (I fully confess that this had to be seriously cut down and edited the day after. No, really, this is the most PG version I could stitch together!)


05:04am – Upon a much calmer disposition… that may well have not been my wisest decision…

This is not a Google







3 responses to “Gaming Insomnia [Stage 2 – Single Player]”

  1. Celeste avatar

    ‘I will punch you in the soul!’. I’m having that.

    Very entertaining. You seriously threw your RB guitar out the window? That’s as clear a case of crazy man-mind as there ever was.

  2. UnsocialToaster avatar

    Clicked the scream, linked to the home page 🙁 Dunk be broken things again!

  3. UnsocialToaster avatar

    Right clicked the scream and opened link in new tab, it worked. Fast fixing there Dunk! :p

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