The CSI TV series are, in my opinion, an excellent bunch. Miami’s a bit dodgy, but generally as a person who doesn’t watch that much television, I do enjoy watching Grissom and co outwit that guy who thought he could wash away blood with bleach.
In fact, I like the series so much, I have repeatedly suffered the games released in its name. When I load up a CSI game, my logic suddenly becomes extremely flawed and I find myself thinking ‘Ooh look at me, I’m a CSI detective!’ instead of ‘Ugh this game is slow, dull and broken’. I think about how cool it is that I, Joanne the Crime Scene Investigator, managed to spot a piece of broken glass on the floor that turned out to be the key to the whole investigation. I do not question why the graphics always look like they belong on the Playstation 2, or how infuriatingly slow it always is to navigate anywhere!
So I have established that I like the CSI games, warts and all. I would rather concentrate my efforts on solving the crimes than admit that they are horribly made. So how can CSI: Deadly Intent open my eyes and make me see what I am actually playing? Well, I guess that they can prevent me from completing it. Yeah, that would work. Actually, how about not letting me get past the first level?
Briefly I will explain my mission, and how it failed so miserably, leaving my case left unsolved forever. You see, part of the investigation involved collecting broken glass and putting it together to form a heart shaped ashtray. Simple, right? I put the ashtray together on a big table, even unlocking the achievement for doing so. I needed to do this in order to get a fingerprint off the ashtray, which would in turn reveal the killer. This is all I had to do to complete the case. Except when I went into my menu to do so, there was still a piece missing. Huh? I went back to the table and looked at the ashtray again. I even wiggled it about a bit to make sure. Complete. This was my glitch. Talking to Nick Stokes revealed nothing but a cryptic ‘The clue to the last piece is underfoot…’. Hmm. Yes. Well it would be cryptic had I not already found the piece that is underfoot and put it into my ashtray!
It has been a long time since I came across a game which glitched so badly that I had no choice but to start again, right from the beginning. Being the loyal fan that I am, I did just that, making sure to do things in a different order. I got to the game breaking part, and again it glitched, preventing me from getting any further. In astonishment I stared at the screen. I stuck by this franchise through the terrible reviews, the dodgy voice acting, even bought this game knowing I would have to work for Morpheus instead of Grissom, and this is my reward?
Needless to say, I sadly put my copy back on the shelf and admitted defeat. I have learnt my lesson.
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