Souper Mario Brothers

Hey kids!

Are your parents trying to get you to eat five a day, and you just want them to go away?

Then why not try our delicious range of Mario Mushroom foods?

Super MushroomTM will make you double in size*, then you can tell your parents to go to bed!  Make sure you eat as much of the mushroom pizza as you can before you power up, or otherwise it will seem tiny.  Give one to your mum so she can dust the top of the cupboards, give one to your dad so you can have a better view sitting on his shoulders whilst watching the football. And girls, rub them on your assets for a quick and cheap Jordan job.

1-Up MushroomTM will help you give the adults the shock of their life when you die — only to come back to life again*.  Be the life — or death — of the party.  Surprise friends, teachers… and even medical professionals.

If being big isn’t your bag, why not try the Mini MushroomTM.  You will automatically shrink in size*.  A regular Kit Kat will soon look like four Kit Kat Chunkys melted together — and a Kit Kat Chunky will look like a chocolate sofa. Why not eat some Mini MushroomsTM before playing video games — your 14″ portable will look like a cinema screen, and your 50″ plasma will look like the monolith from the end of 2001: A Space Odyssey. Your bathtub will become a swimming pool, a tiny one bedroom flat with become palatial and the buttons on your games console joypad will be like a DDR dance mat, so kiss most of your games goodbye unless you can get one friend to operate the D-Pad.

Mega MushroomTM If money is tight, why not try our special New Super Mario Bros. DSTM; Mega MushroomTM!  One mushroom will power up a whole family.  Or if you take it yourself, you will be able to destroy Tokyo while fighting Gojira! Become a local hero by urinating on buildings to put out fires, climb Mount Everest as if you were walking up the stairs and even use 18 wheeler trucks as ultra modern roller skates.

For all your power up needs, we have a mushroom for every occasion!  For meals, for parties, for throwing out the back of your car like in Mario Kart: Double DashTM – our mushrooms are the best!

So don’t forget, when choosing mushrooms, shout : ‘It’s a me.  Mario!TM

Mario MushroomsTM – power up your mouth!

mariosoupAD

*The Mega Mario Mushroom CompanyTM takes no responsibility for any damage caused by doubling in size, becoming tiny, super huge, resurrection or losing any powers you may already have had by eating a poisoned mushroom.  In fact, there is a good chance that they are just regular mushrooms and this is an elaborate marketing ploy, so please don’t try and kill yourselves because you just had a bowl of our soup!  In fact, you are advised not to actually consume our products at all — just give us the money for them, then throw them away. The Mega Mario Mushroom CompanyTM is a part of Wario Ware Industries.  Waaaaaaaaaaaah-rio!


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3 responses to “Souper Mario Brothers”

  1. Jake avatar
    Jake

    I will admit to reading this in preview at the weekend and chuckling like an eejit. Nice work Fran.

  2. Simon avatar
    Simon

    😀

    Quick and cheap Jordan job? I guess it’s all in her book…..

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