Unlike many of you veterans I’ve only had my Xbox 360 since Christmas last year. Until then the whole concept of “achievements” and “gamerscore” hadn’t factored into my life. I’d pick up a game I fancied, play it until it was completed (in my world “completed” means until I get stuck or bored) and then shelve it. The first game I heard the wonderful ker-plink on was Fable 2. They gave me numbers for playing the game! I found it quite touching, like a little pat on the back. I had a very laid back attitude regarding my score, until it reached around 3000. For no logical reason I began to crave these ker-plinks and wanted my number higher. I have no idea why. I don’t care if my score is a little inadequate compared to most, I’m a 360 n00b and I have no shame in that.
I knew of gamers buying certain titles purely because they throw a thousand points at you and then a little while later I first encountered the term “achievement whore”. Sadly, not long after the horror of hearing that people resort to this kind of behaviour, I’m worried I might now be a 360 harlot. A gamer of the night. A score tramp.
It began with Burnout Paradise. Lorna and some fellow Ready Uppers needed a full game to harvest hard-to-get achievements. Naively I joined in but purely because I love the game. The next thing I know I’m barrel jumping my little heart out and clawing at any potential points going. We threw races, we spammed friends to get them to join and it felt so wrong but I couldn’t help myself. From that very day it has snowballed. I asked Tony for help with getting achievements in Burnout Revenge, I manned a second controller to “co-op” on Lips, I played Smash TV over and over for points all to no avail until an invincibility cheat was found and I happily went along with that because Ready Uppers are bad, bad people who convince me this is okay.
I was becoming an achievement whore monster. A FrankenKat, but I think I’ve reached a climax and my gaming sanity is returning thanks to Left 4 Dead. I’d always fancied completing one campaign on Expert and have dipped in and out of games but Expert is a gruelling experience and I’m a lazy gamer. Last week I was lured into a game, plied with sweet promises of achievements and I finally got that ker-plink for completing one campaign on Expert. How? By utilising every sneaky trick in the book. We played through most of Dead Air on Easy until switching to Expert for the finale where we stood, cowards that we are, on the roof of the plane, meleeing away Smokers for five minutes before dropping into the plane and making our escape. I was mildly sickened when the achievement popped. What had I actually achieved? Being a filthy, dirty cheat.
So now I’m on the road to recovery. I’m bound to fall off the 360 wagon along the way but I take one satisfying thought from my ordeal. I always had fun, I wasn’t miserable, it didn’t feel like a chore and so long as gaming stays fun to me then that is the most important thing. That’s my line and I’m sticking to it.
Now to research the glitches for the other three campaigns…
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