Being Me

I have a confession to make to my XBL friends. I am actually female, yep, I’m a real life woman. I know the gamertag and the swearing may make me seem like a 13 year old boy, but I’m actually not. I have boobs (no pics) and I like men and everything! In real life, the way I look is pretty important to me (not cause I’m female of course but cause I’m shallow like that) and in games, my appearance is just as important as my kill/death ratio. I want a pwetty character, I want to be the girl! I want to wear pink and have long hair and be Zoey in L4D. In single player, it matters not so much, I can take on the role of a guy no problem. I’m being told a story, playing a part, seeing through the eyes of the protagonist but then some people play games so that they can be someone else.
I-KillerChick-I

When I play, I want to be me! I want the adventures, I want to save the day! I want to ruthlessly gun you down and I want you to know, without a doubt, that it was me! So it’s in multiplayer that I’m at my most fussy. I’m not being told a story, I’m not playing a part, I’m trying to make kills and score points. Cause that’s me, y’know, that little person running around most likely shooting at you. It represents me, has my skills, my flaws and my gamertag above its head. I much prefer playing games when I’m able to relate to the virtual figure I’m controlling and when I have to play as a male character I’m less likely to feel like it’s me right there in the action. And yes, I’m well aware that what I’m doing here is stamping my foot and stropping cause ffs, I don’t wanna be a stinky boy!

I get laughed at while playing Gears of War when I let people know that the reason I play as Carmine, the rookie, the guy who dies horribly, is because he wears a helmet, and you never know, he could be a chick… with a really deep voice… under all that armour… and Anthony could totally be a girl’s name on the planet of Sera right!?

I don’t want to be treated differently because I’m a female gamer, I don’t think I’m special because I play games, anyone can do it. I just want to be one of the gang, I want to blend in with the noise and chatter, and I’m pefectly happy to be one of the boys for a while. But I still want to be me, a mouthy, argumentative Welsh chick. I want to snipe you, beat you down or tell you to F*ck off for killing me and I want to look good whilst doing it.


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13 responses to “Being Me”

  1. van-fu avatar
    van-fu

    Wait! KillerChick is a chick?!? And likes pink? And men? And wants to beat me down? And swear at me? And wants to be treated just like one of the gang? All I can say is that Xbox Live is the perfect place for you. It’s an equal opportunity place where abuse is not weighted in favour of a specific gender, race, creed, religion or nationality. On XBL, everyone is a #£!^.
    🙂

    What can I say, stick with us, we won’t give you special treatments.

  2. Del Torro El Sorrow avatar
    Del Torro El Sorrow

    After this revelation I think I have to do some sorting of my friends list.

  3. The Rook avatar
    The Rook

    We didn’t treat you any differently during Ultimate Alliance, we let you walk off the edge and die like anyone of us, that’s equality right there.

    In most multiplayer games, I take the default character to control, I don’t tend to want to be a specific person or gender or wear pretty things. I don’t believe I’ve ever looked through the character models in GTA, and L4D was mostly random selection.

    You may be a chick and like pretty things, but in game, you are another target. Unless you’re on my team, in which case, sorry for shooting you. 🙂

  4. John.B avatar

    I think that’s the case of most women online, the fact you can’t really sucks.

    I don’t treat you differently because you are a woman, I go out my way to kill you because it’s damn entertaining.

  5. Duncan avatar
    Duncan

    I would never do such a thing… I treat you differently because you have an amazing Welsh accent and will say cool sounding words for me. 🙂

  6. Laura avatar
    Laura

    I know you lot don’t treat me differently, that’s cause you’re cool 😛 But that’s not really my point. I’m just trying to get across the fact that I don’t have a girly gamertag or choose female characters to get attention from guys. It shouldn’t really be an issue I suppose but it is. It wouldn’t be though, if more ladies realised that gaming is actually awesome 🙂

  7. Rhyle avatar
    Rhyle

    Funny post, Laura! Think the problem may be that the audience gaming captures is, in the main, undeniably the 18-49 male category. And not just the good ones with a steady job, wife and kids. No. Also the social inepts who think that girls online are looking for some post-pubescent hormone stormin’ attention from them. Probably think the same of any female who looks at them in the supermarket while shopping.

    For most gender, age…hell, even ability doesn’t matter as long as you can bring something to the table whether it’s the funny, the nice or the sucks.

    Hells…if you do find yourself getting the wrong sort of attention – there’s always the mute button.

  8. ZeroMark avatar
    ZeroMark

    Your a girl? No way, i always thought with the manly voice and the ability to drive a warthog you were a guy……Sorry about that.

  9. Duncan avatar
    Duncan

    “It wouldn’t be though, if more ladies realised that gaming is actually awesome :)”

    I agree, CoD is a total sausage fest…

  10. Punkduck avatar
    Punkduck

    I think seeing as Killer has been brave enough to drop that bombshell it’s only fair I drop one of my own. This may come as a bit of a surprise, but I have it on good authority that Jonabob, AKA Del Torro El Sorrow, is, in fact, a man!

  11. Laura avatar
    Laura

    Jonabob is a dude??? No wai! I’d nevar have guessed! He don’t even try to chat me up or nuffin! 😉

  12. Chucklebuck avatar
    Chucklebuck

    Pfft.
    You’re obviously a naked 40-year-old man. 😛

  13. Loz avatar
    Loz

    Loving this blog lady – you really are a Killer Chick 😉 Hands up for female GOW characters tho please! xx

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