Ready Up

Crash Diet

Not too long ago, Ready Up’s very own James wrote an extremely well-written piece here – that I couldn’t disagree more with. In it he slandered the towering magnificence of the original “fat” Playstation 3 design, calling it “arguably the single most oversized, overweight and downright hideous console that has ever been put to market”. I can only assume he never had an original Xbox.

In the comments to his post, I pointed out my objections, revelling in the fat PS3’s striking monolithic looks, and describing the new PS3 Slim which he liked so much as boring, bland, pedestrian, cheap-looking and work like. No way, I said, would I be even considering replacing such an iconic piece of design with this run-of-the-mill impostor.

It seems, then, that fate has a sense of humour.

Even the new packaging is dull
Even the new packaging is dull

For as I write this, I am installing the MAG Beta on to my brand new PS3 Slim console. Perhaps it was the shame of James’ cutting words that caused my beautiful fatty to fall on its own sword, or perhaps it was just its time. Either way, bereft of life it rests in peace. It’s kicked the  bucket, it’s shuffled off this mortal coil, run down the curtain and joined the bleedin’ choir invisible! THIS IS AN EX-PLAYSTATION!

Being a man, and luckily, not a skint man, I did the kind of thing that drives my partner crazy, which was to go immediately out and buy a brand new console after about five minutes thought.

And for all my comments berating the new machine’s (dull as dishwater) looks, it certainly is an impressive technical marvel. It has been greatly reduced in size, and its weight loss is staggering. It now weighs less than the Xbox 360 and it doesn’t even have a 360-style power brick, an item which I once saw described as looking “like something you would chuck at the police”.

The worst thing about the whole affair, barring the financial outlay of course, is that now the seed of doubt has been sown. I used to think of the Playstation 3 as a towering rock, riding out a stormy sea of repeated console failures, watching 360 after 360 being swept under. Now, though, in my minds eye there are cracks in fortress Playstation, and every little crash or hiccup will have me panicking that it is on its way out.  Of course I’m aware that there have been a fair number of Playstation hardware problems over the life of the Playstation brand, but I personally was never hit by any of them. It’s just a shame that I can no longer say that.

Whatever the cause of these problems, it certainly seems that when we look back on this generation of high definition consoles, reliability won’t be the first word to pop into our heads.

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4 responses to “Crash Diet”

  1. MarkuzR avatar
    MarkuzR

    Fantastic blog Tony, really well written 🙂 If I was of the “American way” I’d offer you snaps but, being British, I’ll doff my hat and tilt my head slightly to the side as I slowly close my eyes.

    It’s always sad to hear about someone’s beloved gadgetry kicking the bucket but, like you, I’d immediately replace any of mine without a thought. I always hope that anything of mine dies before 8pm so I can just get it from Ebuyer for next day delivery :))

    I’ve never *touch wood* had to replace any of my XBoxes due to the dreaded RRoD but have bought several additions over the years as I’ve found it necessary to have multiple units for when friends are staying. If any of them went down, even though I never use them myself, I’d still replace them.

    This generation, as you say, won’t be known for its reliability but DAMN we’ll look back and fondly remember the huge leaps forward in technology and and graphics capability. Moreso than any other generation gap I think.

    Glad you’re liking your PS3 slim, and if you’ve still got your old PS3 lying around you could always remove the innards and use it as a bread bin 🙂 An overpriced but fantastically black and shiny bread bin. If one of our Xboxes kicks it, I’m going to hollow it out and use it to keep Crunchy Nut Cornflakes in 🙂

  2. Steven Chandler avatar
    Steven Chandler

    Why do manufacturers laud themselves with plaudits every time they release a new slimline console? They should have designed it properly the first time.

    “The new VW Polo has had 1.113 improvements made to it.” Well the original must have been a crock of shi….. (Viz magazine)

  3. James avatar
    James

    Come now Tony, we all know you poured Iron Bru into her vents so you could bin the bulk, get a Slim and still have room on your desk for a regulation football pitch. 😛

    The original Xbox is indeed a strong contender for the ‘chunkiest console ever’ award, but it was Microsoft’s first console effort and they redeemed themselves by making the successor smaller, better looking (at least comparatively) AND more powerful. Sony managed 33% of that formula. Better late than never I suppose, even if it is 3 YEARS late…

    But for all the jibes I’ve levelled at the PS3, reliability was never one of them, so it’s a shame that yourself and a couple of Ready Uppers have experienced problems in that department. And gentle ribbing aside, the immediate future looks pretty darn bright for PS3: sexy new look, sexy new hard drive, sexy new price and some seriously high calibre exclusives. Come on Heavy Rain, show us what the PS3 is really capable of!

  4. asamink avatar
    asamink

    While they are at it, why don’t these console makers also invent a time machine? They wouldn’t have to wait for the technological advances in chip designs and power supplies allowing them to make a smaller unit. Or do they like making big consoles that cost more in materials and cost more to ship? Just look at the insides of a 360 or PS3, they are both technology and design at it’s best. It’s just a shame about the reliability.

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