That’s What She Said!

A terrible thing happened to me not so long ago. My XBL mic died. Well, I killed it, snapped the end right off, cause I break everything! As bad as that is in itself, it died at 9:00 on Tuesday the 4th of August, minutes before the Ready Up Gears of War Wingman tournament.  5 teams of two Ready Uppers each, were actually in a GOW2 lobby on time ready to play the long overdue final match, I know what you’re thinking, that’s just asking for something to go wrong!

Before the match, I’d been busy, doing what I do to prepare for the game. Getting the kids off to bed, doing my hair (don’t laugh, that improves my game!) while discussing tactics with my team mate, McDoogl and talking smack to the opposition via Xbox Live messages. Everyone knows communication is key to succeeding in Wingman, or any team game and for me, that communication starts before the game begins, even in more casual games. In lobbies I like to voice my displeasure at certain random match ups, or inform my team that although the enemy outranks us that we are in fact, awesome enough to beat them and that ranks mean nothing, nothing! Unless of course, I have the highest! Just a little comment such as how the other team sucks before entering the game is enough to let the room know that although we’re gonna have loads of fun, I’m looking for a fight, but even if I lose, it ain’t gonna shut me up!

"Omg I soooo love my shoes! Here I'll give you a closer look!"
"Omg I soooo love my shoes! Here, lemme give you a closer look!"

I failed miserably in the tournament. McDoogl carried us to second place, but I was down, my confidence shaken, the obvious disadvantage got to me from the start and I couldn’t pick myself back up. I felt disconnected from the game, as if I was spectating, and I might as well have been – the amount of points I scored was pathetic! I need to talk, and chatter and argue. If I watched sports I’d no doubt be one of the most vocal in the crowd. Cheering at the headshots in football games or complaining about host advantage if my team, Wales, had to play in a hot country. On the rare occasion that I watch a horror film, I offer the characters advice, loudly, yes I know they can’t hear me but just once, I’d like to see someone stay in the car/room/cellar and hide after seeing their friends brutally murdered by a psychopath.  TV, I have to speak my mind and predict what’s gonna happen or question the characters’ decisions. It’s not wise to even get me started on soap operas, I have to leave the room.

If you join a game with me, you’re gonna hear my voice, a lot! Very rarely does something shut me up. If I go quiet, watch out, I’m sneaking up on you or on a killing spree and concentrating on not getting myself killed but these things don’t happen too often, I haven’t got the patience.

To make up for my traumatising XBL silencing, I got myself a brand new shiny set of  Turtle Beach X4s (y’know, the wireless ones. Yeah baby!) Possibly the best thing I have ever bought for myself! I am in love! Not only can I can hear failed headshots zip past my ear, pinpoint the sniper’s location and rush in for the kill, or hear the faint ‘clunk clunk’ of metal armour behind me and evade a death by chainsaw, I can chat, laugh and banter with my gamer buddies and join in once again with our intelligent, witty, mature conversations!

"Hur hur hur"
"Hur hur hur"







5 responses to “That’s What She Said!”

  1. mrcuddleswick avatar

    Ha ha! Yes! The final photo and speech bubbles are an accurate representation of what happened on that fateful evening.

  2. arc14716 avatar

    I think I need to get back on XBL so I can listen to all the chit chat that occurs in your games.

  3. Laura avatar

    Cuddles is right! That’s what STEFF said! 😉

  4. Del Torro El Sorrow avatar
    Del Torro El Sorrow

    This blog is officially full of win.

    Could’ve done with more Del Torro though…

  5. Duncan avatar

    “I think I need to get back on”


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