Tuesday 21st April marks a special day for any fellow zombie-slaying fans. The Left 4 Dead Survival Pack is being released! In honour of this glorious, wonderful day I would like to publicly declare my true feelings for our favourite Left 4 Dead survivor.
An Ode To Louis
“Stay positive guys,
I’ve got a good feeling about this”.
An immortal line from A.I. Louis.
Dressed in dapper suit,
With wide innocent eyes,
But in your heart and your mind,
Madness lies.
“Come on, cheer up,
We’re almost through”.
But how can we be happy?
We’ve spawned with you!
You seem so nice but looks can deceive,
Cos you’ll screw up my game like you wouldn’t believe.
“Woah woah don’t shoot, it’s me!”
Oh I think you’ll find we disagree.
Whether pinned by Hunter,
Or Smoked up a tree,
Your lack of action’s a guarantee.
“Grabbin’ pills”.
Yeah I bet you are,
But what you’ll do with them is plain bizarre.
Give them to someone whose health is on red?
That’s lunacy Louis, top yours up instead.
“I got a bad feeling about this”.
You’re right, we agree, something is amiss…
As the sobbing reaches a feverish pitch,
Nooo A.I. Louis! There must be some glitch,
Cos you never fail to startle the Witch.
“Oh! Will you knock it off?”.
Don’t you tempt me with this Molotov!
And this allergy you have to the safe room door,
Makes fighting zombies with you such a chore.
Now’s NOT the time to run off and explore!
A.I. Louis, I can’t take much more.
“Hey man, that’s not cool”.
But are you really the biggest fool?
Despite the dysphoric rage you instill…
Your chronic lack of any skill…
And my strong desire to make a team kill…
Please, don’t get me started on Bill!
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