A Ready Up Fairy Tale

Once upon a time there lived a magical gaming pixie who loved nothing more than to challenge those who dwelt in the land of Forumania to great feats of skill and perserverance. The pixie herself was a formidable opponent, topping every leaderboard as far as the eye could see.

In the castle of “Chitchat Thread” lived a princess who learned of the pixie’s challenge from the royal court jester who had actually managed to best some of the pixie’s scores. Inspired by the lowly jester’s efforts the princess, fed up of waiting for her handsome prince to arrive, decided that she would venture out into the dangerous realm of Xbox LIVE to take on the pixie’s challenge. After days of gruelling torment, the princess finally clawed her way to the top of the Hexic HD leaderboard. So proud was she of her triumph she raced back to the castle and informed everyone there of her success.

The jester smiled and congratulated the princess, seemingly unperturbed by his defeat. But, unbeknown to the inhabitants of Forumania, something sinister was brewing inside the jester’s soul, something so evil that it would shake the land for all time.

A few days later, while the princess was amusing herself by shooting peasants in one of the castle’s three arenas shaped like halos she recieved a message of apology from the jester. She knew instantly what had happened and raced to the Hexic scoreboard only to find that the jester had summoned the power of not one, not three but six enchanted black pearls completely destroying her lead.

“Pooh!” “Bah!” exclaimed the princess and would have carried on exclaiming such things had it not been for the appearance of a dark knight. The bold and brave dark knight boastfully challenged the jester to a display of speed, a race to the very tip of the highest mountain in the kingdom, Mount Mumbo. The dark knight let it be known to all that he would “Bring the PAIN!”

For days the two dueled as the people looked on, anxiously awaiting any news. The dark knight was confident to say the least as he claimed victory time and time again until, suddenly, quite unexpectedly, the dark knight fell. “Get up!!!” the crowds roared but the dark knight could not go on, vanquished was he for the jester had achieved what had been believed by the dark knight to be unachievable, a time below 8 minutes, the true number of the beast – 7:55

As the jester laughed and mockingly played on his banjo the dark knight could not contain his fury, angrily warning the jester that the battle was far from over. The fighting escalated. The people caught up in the hysteria spilled out onto the streets, becoming some kind of “Street Fighters”. Distraught the Princess cried out to the King and Queen to stop the madness but they did not. The King used the strife for his own profit, using his forging knowledge to create powerful fighting sticks imbued with Dark Hadou and the Queen could not help as she was about to embark on a perilous journey through the vast wastelands of Forumania. No one cared anymore who fought who. Friends and strangers turned on each other, harnessing the powers of evil to wield the elements and perfect flamboyant acrobactic movements, each hoping for the glory and honour of victory.

The dark knight and the jester have yet to face each other again. Many will fall at the hands of the two foes but the day is approaching when their paths will cross. Only time will tell who will emerge unscathed from the experience and claim the title of “Ready Up Street Fighter Champion”.

Amidst the chaos, one may spot a familiar face. With a smile, small but cheeky, watching the events unfold. Under the wise tutilage of a Street Fighting guru the magic gaming pixie is honing her talents. It is rumoured that she may be the one, the one to defeat the jester, to silence the dark knight and restore order to the once peaceful land of Forumania.

Cards adapted from the works of the excellent Jessica Peffer







18 responses to “A Ready Up Fairy Tale”

  1. Darach avatar

    ROFLMAO! 😀

    Reports from across the realm tell of mystical weapons forged by the blackest of dark arts.
    And it is said, that both the Pixie and the Knight seek such weapons that they may defeat our noble and modest Jester.

    And when these dread armaments are found, no doubt the streets will again be filled with the sounds of battle as our Jester, Champion of the People, tries valiantly to hold off the evil Knight and the mischievous Pixie, from bringing destruction to our fair land.

    The battle will be long, the enemy relentless, but if victory can be found in these dark times, then the Jester is the one to find it. For the people. For justice. For the land.

  2. Shaz avatar

    The Pixie rolls on the floor laughing. Her mischievous eyes observing the scene and excitement grows more, as she knows more fun lies ahead!

  3. van-fu avatar

    The cruelest hoax the Jester ever made was to let the inhabitants of Forumania believe that he was good. The Pixie and the Dark Knight know the truth and will stop at nothing to expose him as the foul and evil fiend he truly is. It is rumoured that he long since sold his soul to the trinity of Billus Gatus, Seamus Blackleyus and Nelson of Major, in exchange for unerring boomsticks to be used in grand thieving automobile exploits.

    The Dark Knight watches and knows that the old ways of honing skills and patience will be enough to stem the tide of unwarranted victories amassed by the Jester. He has but one message to the long-suffering people of Forumania. Soon, the shouts will be hear. The Jester is dead. Long live the Knight.

    But that is a tale for another day.

    (Post of the year, Laura. Post of the year)

  4. Barry avatar

    Its like our very own soap opera! I know of 2 fears the Pixie possesses, Kangaroo’s and men in Jaguar masks.

    out of the 3, I can only see the Jester triumphing, should the dark knight do so we will never hear the last of it.

  5. Lordstar avatar

    I TAP MY LANDS!!!!!

  6. Laura avatar

    LOL those comments are excellent you guys rock!!

    Dan made the pics with his magical photoshop powers they’re sooo pretty! 😀

  7. MrCuddleswick avatar

    What a rich and deep culture you ready uppers have. Who’s who? Or am i to work this out for myself?

  8. van-fu avatar

    The Jester is Darach. The clue is in his avatar picture. The Dark Knight is Van-Fu. Again, clue is in my avatar picture. The Pixie is Laura.

    And this is required reading. http://forum.ready-up.net/topic.php?id=442#post-7462

  9. Laura avatar

    The Pixie is Shaz, http://forum.ready-up.net/topic.php?id=175
    I’m the princess 🙂

  10.  avatar

    Aah. I stand corrected.


  11. Tiq avatar

    and yet there is another… waiting in the midsts is one who has gone so far unnoticed by the pixie, the princess, the dark knight and the jester… one man who has been patiently planning, watching and waiting for his time to strike.

    The others would do well to take heed of his presence… for in time the white knight shall arise… his victory foretold by the ancient scriptures. 😉

  12.  avatar

    This fairy tale has the potential to become a horror story. For when the Dark Knight and the White Knight meet, it will be a cataclysmic event unlike any seen since Pandora’s box was opened.

    It seems peace in Forumania will be a long time coming.

    -Unknown watcher.

  13. Razgate avatar

    so what is the Hexic record?

  14. The Rook avatar
    The Rook

    Best blog ever Princess. I enjoyed reading about the adventures of the people of Forumania, and hope to read another chapter or two in the future.

    The Rook supports the Knight, but always smiles when he sees the Princess.

  15. Nick Wade (KNIGHTFALL666) avatar
    Nick Wade (KNIGHTFALL666)

    Great blog, need more adventures from Forumania

  16. paradox avatar

    not bad, not bad.

    pah, who am i trying to kid, one of the most entertaining reads ive come across.


  17. Lorna avatar

    Great post Laura. I admit I got a bit lost as I had only skimmed the relevant thread but it was fanastically done 😀 And the jester will get his comeuppance, I have no doubt 😉

  18. Martin avatar

    And yet unbeknown to all in the frozen wastelands of Nointernetia lies the sleeping wanderer. He has been encased in a frozen tomb for months since the evil queen of virgin ‘o’ media imprisoned him with no communication with the outside world.

    The wanderer had once climbed to to top of the tournament of knights known only as “the club” where he stood proud for some time. In his prison he has been refining his fighting skills aided by his trusty companion “madcatz”. Very soon he will be breaking out and returning to the world of Forumania to reclaim his crown as the rightful leader.

    Warriors will fall at his feet, buildings will be reduced to rubble and the women folk will swoon at his words of charm. The wanderer will wander no more this is the start of a fighters journey, stand back and get ready, the revolution is upon us.

    Fantastic post Laura, laughed my ass off. Looking forward to the further adventures.

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