Remember The Old

remember1.jpgRemember the Amstrad CPC? Don’t worry this blue screen is normal for our legendary machine. Phwoar feel the retro goodness running through your memory! Although this was my older brother’s toy, this didn’t stop my younger self invading the computer chair and pestering him to get “my fair share” of entertainment. Out of all the many Amstrad games that are still blurry in my mind, there’s definitely one that sticks out clearly. Okay so we’ve all played games that we’re not supposed to have, so here’s my confession.

I remember playing, “How To Be A Complete Bastard”. Even though I was still in the innocence of my age as a child; among the various adult gags/pranks featured in this game there were still a few immature tricks that humoured me. It comes to mind that this video game stands unique. Although it is an adaptation from the book written by Adrian Edmondson, you just don’t get games like this any more!


The joy of being able to roam freely in every room and garden of the party, stealing someone’s pen and perhaps stabbing a guest when you’re feeling bitter. Putting on a pair of dirty knickers for your own amusement, (for those who remember well) actually witness what bad luck is when you open up an umbrella indoors or picking up a spider and throwing it across the room. The game undoubtedly gets you to play over and over to explore your curiosities.

The aim is to be as obnoxious as you can. Upon performing highly unpleasant tasks you will eventually light up each individual letter spelling “Complete – Bastard”, however you need to look after yourself along the process. The four meters of awareness measuring your state of smell, the gas that’s building up inside, when you need to urinate and how drunk you are are critical towards pulling certain pranks but also a danger to a “Game Over”.

Even though this is ancient compared to our modern day video gaming, I could put down my 360 controller for a good devil session of How To Be A Complete Bastard.







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