Hustle Kings

Shiny balls; that’s what Hustle Kings is all about. Developer VooFoo got the physics down a couple of years back for PSN. There’s nowhere to go from there really. A few Vita-specific options have been added, though, so that you take your shot by drawing your finger down the side of the screen, bringing a more visceral and nerve-wracking feel to trying to pot a ball. There’s a rather pointless cue chalking element that has you just touch a flashing button onscreen every few shots. Generally though, it’s just pool. That’s not to play the game down. We love pool games, right? It has to be the biggest waste of time known to man. If you can’t even get off your arse to go to a pool hall, to the point that you’re sinking a few every night with strangers online, that right there is living the dream, eh? You are truly the lowest of sloth-like creatures. YAS!

Shiny, shiny balls; that’s what it comes down to. Those balls just keep getting shinier and shinier because that’s all you can really do to bring something new to what is already a pitch perfect game of spherical arts. I suppose it might be nice to see some actual humans in the pool halls rather than just that mental floating cue. In fact you could even add an ugly couple of old alcoholics snogging the face off each other at the bar and  then getting into a completely incoherent argument and being thrown out by a big pudding-faced bar man with angina. Maybe that will be downloadable. The assist line included is a feature, I suppose, but when set to it’s longest length, which you inevitably will set it to,  it turns the game into a near automated affair, where you just get to play until you create an impossible shot. Generally you can clear a table with this assist on without your opponent getting near the table at all so switch that off.

Shiny, shiny, shiny balls. They do get VERY shiny. I’m not sure you can really comprehend how shiny they get. These screenshots aren’t conveying it. You can build up a tonne of money in-game and buy all kinds of stuff, new cues, avatars and so on but I recommend you spend it all on the shiniest balls. They will cost one bazillion monies but it’s worth it; so worth it.


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