Sometimes I get Bono to cover for me, for no obvious reason.

If you’ve never been exposed to UFO, and like pixels, you can download the game right now from Steam for a few pounds. It’s what I did a while back when my craving to jump back into it became too much.

It looks like I wasn’t the only one with that craving, though. A few clusters of developers and publishers seem to have noticed that there is one influential series in particular that hasn’t yet been remade, and so are looking to plug that gaping hole with a release of their own (ignore that). I’ve already written about the new XCOM FPS title, which regrettably appears to have slipped off the edge of a very large cliff.

You can play the beta of Xenonauts right now, which is Goldhawk Interactive’s exciting community-fuelled re-imagining of UFO in a cold war setting.

Also looming onto the horizon is Firaxis’ (the studio behind Civilization) recently announced XCOM: Enemy Unknown, which will release for consoles and may offer an interesting alternative approach to that taken with Xenonauts.

XCOM: Enemy Unknown

None of that is the reason I’m here, though. No, the reason I’m here is to relate to you a story of extreme bravery in the face of extraordinary peril. I’m here to tell you the story of my recent revisit of UFO.

When I first fired up the game I chose the hardest difficulty setting. Not because I’m confident, or because I am in any way proficient at the game. No, I selected the hardest difficulty setting because I am an idiot.

UFO essentially boils down to arming and equipping a group of multinational soldiers and sending them into battle with the alien forces in an attempt to fight off their gradual invasion of Earth. As in life, it can be difficult to remember the often seemingly random combinations of letters that make up foreign people’s names. So before I did anything else, I renamed my squad of soldiers so that, in the heat of turn-based battle, I could remember which ones to protect and which to sacrifice.

What was needed was a simple naming convention. Obviously, I chose to name the weaker, less accurate soldiers after Manchester United players. Naturally, the stronger and more accurate soldiers were named after Liverpool players. The players with French-sounding names were left as they were, because in battle they can be instinctively disregarded as Arsenal players.

As you can see, they all look exactly like their namesakes, with the possible exception of Ryan Giggs who looks like Guile.

My merry band of X-Com operatives named after famous footballers (and Dirk Kuyt) initially fared well against the alien horde. The only soldiers we lost were French. Ryan Giggs was leading the charge with Paul Scholes, and they formed a formidable partnership, until on a mission in Jamaica Ryan Giggs was shot in the groin by an alien had to recuperate back at base for two weeks.

He actually took out a super-injunction on me. He was really shot in a far more embarrassing place.

As it goes, I forgot to put Giggs back in the squad after he recovered, so he missed a lot of action. I like to think that he was running around the base on his own with a football the whole time. Meanwhile, Paul Scholes killed three aliens with one grenade on one mission and was accordingly promoted.

'You can take back all the medals I've won in football - the finest moment of my career was when a fictional and poorly rendered represention of me was promoted to Sergeant.' - Paul Scholes, last week.

The whole tactic of sacrificing Manchester United players in favour of Liverpool players was failing horribly, mainly because Paul Scholes was killing everything with grenades before the Liverpool players could get there. This changed, though, on a mission to secure a landed UFO on a farm near Chicago.

As soon as Paul Scholes wandered out of our plane he was shot in the knee, suprisingly not by an arrow, but instead by searing green alien plasma. Two aliens were holed up in a farmhouse right next to our vehicle, and were taking potshots at my poorly rendered representations of professional footballers, who simply couldn’t return fire accurately given the superior position of their foes. I had one more soldier left to try to kill the aliens before the end of our turn (and certain death for most of my squad). I’d given dependable Dirk Kuyt the rocket launcher, and he’d carried it into battle on every mission without even using it. However, he was now my only hope. I peeked his head out of the plane, and he took aim and fired. Did he do us proud? Did he step up?

Yes. Yes he did. For none can stand against the might of Kuyt.

Sadly though, it was the last true moment of glory for my merry band of fake millionaire sportsmen. Just one day after Paul Scholes returned from knee knack, the aliens attacked our base. I hadn’t installed defences, because (as I think I’ve mentioned previously) I am an idiot. The aliens landed on the soil above our base, and poured in through the hangars and access lift. My squad were scattered all over the place. I formed them into two groups, and tried to hold down their respective sections. Rio Ferdinand, Eric Cantona, Peter Schmeichel and Dirk Kuyt were holed up in the west living quarters. Paul Scholes bravely led the other team, comprising the rest of my force, in the east storage area.

The west team were first to bite the dust. An alien popped his head around the corner and took a shot at Eric Cantona, who took a solid hit to the chest but was still standing. Before the alien could take another shot though, Rio Ferdinand instinctively dispatched the extraterrestrial fiend with a laser rifle headshot. The game doesn’t render it, but I like to think that the alien’s head exploded dramatically and wetly. It’s irrelevant anyway, because the very next moment, all four of that team were obliterated by what can only be described as a small nuclear warhead.

Those evil alien bastards.

So, it was down to Paul Scholes and my other five remaining soldiers.

I really should have hired more soldiers. I was employing 40 scientists at that point. 40 scientists! Not one of them was around at the time of the alien attack. Not one. I could have strapped live grenades to them and walked them right up to the aliens, but no. They were all out buying test tubes or something. Selfish.

Anyway. I still felt the situation could be salvaged. Paul Scholes had proven himself in grenadefare, and he was in a room filled with grenades. This was simple. I would instruct Paul Scholes to gradually and methodically throw grenades into every corner of the base until his arm got tired. Then I would strap live grenades to the remaining Manchester United players and walk them right up to any remaining aliens. Essentially, as long as my team still had the air in their lungs to strap live grenades to each other, and walk up to aliens, we were golden.

What I had forgotten is that aliens in UFO can use mind control to take over your soldiers and use them to kill your other soldiers. So, when I looked up from the sketch of Paul Scholes throwing a small grenade at a larger grenade that I was working on to see John Barnes being taken over by aliens, walking over to Ryan Giggs, and firing his rocket launcher directly into his back to kill both of them and Nick Barmby, it again dawned on me that I am an idiot. Yet, I still feel that much blame lies with John Barnes here.

Why, John Barnes? Why? Not this. Never this.

I’d packed my forces too closely together, and now they were all dead, apart from Paul Scholes, Luis Garcia and Ole Solskjaer. The next turn, aliens took over Luis Garcia and he shot Paul Scholes three times in the back with his laser rifle. It was down to Ole Solskjaer.

The first point of order was to kill the now alien-controlled Luis Garcia. Ole Solskjaer did so. The next point of order was to be shot at by every alien in the base, and somehow survive to the next turn. Ole Solskjaer did so. The following point of order was to start throwing grenades. My new plan became to have Ole Solskjaer pick up all of the remaining grenades, fight his way through to the hangar, and then hide in the corner and throw said grenades at the door until there were no more grenades.

Ole Solskajer did so.

To say that Ole Solskjaer went on an insatiable grenade-fuelled rampage of alien bloodlust would be to sell short the unbearable glory of what occurred. He killed five aliens single-handedly in hand-to-grenade combat. That is to say, he used one of his hands to throw grenades at five aliens until they all became green stains on the wall. Even the game itself had to pause proceedings and pass comment on the sheer awesome it was rendering:

Yes. I know.

At that exact moment, I received an email from an unknown sender, with just the below picture attached. I will never know for sure who sent it, but I am assuming it was God.

He also killed a man with a trident but it happened so fast I couldn't get a screen-grab.

All good things come to an end, though, even insatiable grenade-fuelled rampages. Especially insatiable grenade-fuelled rampages, in fact.

The aliens presumably got bored of being blown up and fired a small nuclear device into the hangar, rupturing the fuel tanks and turning brave Ole Solskjaer into such a fine mist that the game couldn’t even render it.

With my forces spent, the world was defenceless. The aliens had won.

This is the screen you're shown when you lose. It might as well be the title screen.

In fairness, though, that picture doesn’t look too bad. What you’ll essentially have is a bunch of people with extra arms, crouched around a campfire singing songs about Norwegian ex-Manchester United players. I’d call that something to aim for. Sounds a bit like Skyrim.

"I really wish you'd fucking stayed kidnapped" of the Month!

Since Capcom have just announced the impending arrival of Resident Evil 6 later this year with the help of a pretty damn cool trailer, I thought it was high time I took the chance to play some of the older games in the series. Of course, I say “some of the older games in the series” but I really just mean Resident Evil 4, because there are just too many Resident Evil games for me to really be able to give a shit about all of them. 4 struck me as being the most popular in the series and since it had recently been re-released in high definition on Xbox Live, deciding to give it a go felt like a no-brainer.

The game began with the protagonist, Leon S. Preston Kennedy, being trundled out to the arse end of nowhere by whom appears to be a 30-something Jean Reno and his bespectacled twin brother, but they’re soon set upon by, surprise, surprise, hordes of the undead. I doubt I’d be far off the mark if I was to say that the big draw for this game is that the undead aren’t actually undead at all, instead it’s the entire cast of The Beverly Hillbillies infected with some kind of mind-control parasite.

Soon enough, Leon is parted from the Reno twins and takes off on his invisible Segway – let’s face it, why the fuck else does he walk like that? – and eventually stumbles upon the peaceful village of “We Will Fucking Burn You On A Spike”. At least, going by the signpost in the middle of the village, that’s what I think it’s called. Considering the welcome I’d received earlier, I figured that a character with a fashion sense as garish as Leon’s might stick out a bit too much so I decided I’d try and keep a low profile.

Oh, but Resident Evil 4 wasn’t really meant to be played stealthily, was it? Silly me. Here I was thinking I could slither about undetected, when in actual fact I might as well have been a luminous yellow trout trying to slosh past a starved cat. Naturally, the villagers took to me like a rabid pack of teenage girls at a Justin Beiber concert – my only option was to find somewhere easily defendable. These buggers were quick, so I took refuge in the closest building and repeated my earlier strategy of camping in the corner of the room with my gun aimed firmly at the door.

Heeey, yooou guuuys!

Now, I’m mystified at what point the “horror” aspect is supposed to come into this. Here I am standing in the corner of the room, weapon trained on the only doorway, waiting for the grey goons on the other side to come traipsing in single-file. Am I supposed to be doing this out of fear? I’d do the same if I was playing a modern shoot-em-up, but then the difference between this and the likes of Battlefield 3 is that in the latter my enemy is going to be wielding something a bit deadlier than a rake.

However, my battle plan was working. I was dispatching infected villagers left, right and centre, with the sort of murderous vigour that one would assume was generally only reserved for rogue gunmen that had found their way onto the set of The Jeremy Kyle Show during filming. As such, it was almost disappointing when the nearby church started ringing its bells, causing everyone in the village to drop everything and immediately fuck off to an impromptu Neighbourhood Watch meeting – of course, this was the perfect opportunity for me to get the fuck out of there.

Just wait until you unlock the whinging health-bar-on-legs on the right.

To where, I can’t quite recall, though I do remember an encounter with some kind of lake-bound shite monster. Del Torro? Del Taco? Del Lago? One of those three. What I remember most vividly was having to feed it sweetcorn and then pan its fucking face in with as many toilet rolls as I could, before flushing it away to its much-needed demise. That bit I can remember as clear as day.

Having now played into Resident Evil 4 up to about chapter 2-3, I’ve yet to see what all the fuss is about but realistically I think I’m just scratching the surface of it. I feel inclined to return to it before October when the 6th game in the series hits stores shelves, but from what I’ve played I don’t really feel like there’s any reason to do so other than finishing it for completion’s sake. After all, it’s very difficult to justify playing a game that enforces an arbitrary control method that really equates to nothing more than the protagonist handling like he’s got a potted plant rammed up his arse, especially when other more desirable games like Dark Souls and Rayman: Origins are available. Perhaps if I soldier on, my mind will be changed? Perhaps it’s all downhill from here? I guess there’s only one way to find out.

Those who may not understand it can fear it and that is fine. It’s okay to not get why someone can be having a deep and meaningful conversation with you can all of a sudden go quiet. I think this phenomenon is even more harrowing when you’re involved in a party getting ready to kick another team’s ass. One minute you’re discussing the latest episode of Coronation Street, the next all you may get is the occasional comment regarding the game at hand. This level of concentration I believe can help you progress 25% quicker through any type of game.

A motivational picture to help you get into The Zone

If you too wish to learn how to get into the zone, may I suggest you observe your fellow gamers as they battle their way through. If there is no gamer in your immediate vicinity then you will need to learn this by yourself. First pick any game you want to play. For all new zone starters may I suggest that you make sure you’re not disturbed for at least 10 minutes. Once you’ve got the hang of it then increase said time as you see fit. Next make sure you’re sitting comfortably; getting into the zone can be quite difficult if you’re constantly thinking of how numb your foot / butt / leg / arm has become. And finally allow yourself to be immersed into the game. And I don’t mean stare at it until you become cross eyed. I mean become a part of the story. Feel the need to rescue your stranded maiden, have the hunger to fire that perfect head shot, or break speed limits driving in a hot sports car. When you get to that level of caring, getting into The Zone will become second nature. Zoners, as I like to call them, are able to use this level of concentration to help navigate through difficult levels and have even learned to use this technique beyond the gaming community. So good luck, fellow noob, in your quest into becoming a better gamer.

And don’t go thinking that it’s only mediocre games getting a price slash. Last year, quality titles including, but not limited to, Skyrim, Dead Island, Assassin’s Creed: Revelations, Portal 2 and Batman: Arkham City all had their entry fees cut by up to an astonishing 75%. As a result, gamers could play the best games of the year at a fraction of the cost of their console counterparts.

Because of my increasing passion for the PC gaming scene, I also partook in bagging myself a few bargains. But I wasn’t interested in any of these new games: I already had them and have completed them (at least I think I’ve finished Skyrim – it’s hard to tell). No, for me it was the older games on offer that appealed to me.

There were several titles from years gone past that I remember loving when they came out going super cheap, so I picked them up. Because of their age, some of them were going for only a couple of pounds. I decided to splurge. At the end of my spending spree, I walked away with the complete Grand Theft Auto collection, Star Wars Battlefront II and Vampire: The Masquerade – Bloodlines. Quite a good haul, I reckoned.

So once they’d downloaded – all three only took about an hour at most – I sat down to give them a bash. I loaded up the original Grand Theft Auto and got ready to bask in some retro glory…

Oh, yeaaah.

It was shit. The gameplay I remembered loving had become stiff and cumbersome over the 14 years since its release. The graphics that I thought I would relish in remembering had become ugly and garish and the gameplay I had once thought so revolutionary had become stale and archaic. I played it for only a few minutes before I gave up. I was disappointed, to say the least.

Next, I decided to stick on Battlefront II. I’d loved this game when it first came out. I played it at every moment I could, blasting Stormtroopers, Wookies, Jedi and Sith alike. I couldn’t wait to clamber into an X-Wing and blast some Imperial ass in the epic space battles. I opened the game up, hurriedly started a new game and waited while the game loaded… and then crashed. I tried it again and again, but the result was the same each time: I could never get past the loading screen. Once again, I was consumed with disappointment as time after time I was taken back to the desktop.

It looks different from how I remember it.

So finally, I decided to try out Vampire: The Masquerade. I’d heard good things about it, so it was with eagerness I loaded it up and had good fun sucking peoples’ blood…

I wouldn't mind sucking on her... neck.

Or at least I would have done so if the game actually loaded up at all. Every time I tried to play it, I was greeted with an error box saying either ‘Steam not detected!’ or ‘Available memory less than 15MB!!! – 1’. This occurs when I launch it via Steam on both a cutting-edge gaming PC with 8GB RAM and a laptop with six.

I know these older games are built with redundant operating systems in mind, but why make these games for sale if they don’t work on modern systems? GTA may be rubbish to play now, but at least it worked. The three titles that I was looking forward to playing and loving all over again had all filled my heart with dismay.

And that made me a saaad panda.

The Steam sales are always welcome, but be careful what you purchase: you might just get disappointed.

As a big fan of the original game Syndicate, and the often overlooked Syndicate Wars, I was excited to see what EA had up their sleeves for a brand new Syndicate reboot. The original games had a very unique style, and also two quite brilliant intro movies. For anyone who didn’t play the 1993 original, Syndicate was an isometric game where you controlled a squad of four cybernetically altered agents, who are charged with completing a number of missions, such as stealing information, kidnapping scientists and assassinating rival Syndicate’s VIPs. Doing this allowed your corporation to exert influence over an area, and eventually take over the world.

The new Syndicate takes the basics of this, and spins it into a very modern game. Gone is the old fashioned isometric viewpoint, replaced instead with a first person perspective. The characters look has been changed too, from the very 90s sunglasses and trench coats look of the original to a futuristic cross between a character from Mass Effect and Killzone. The demo we were given to play was the four-player online cooperative mode, on a mission to find and kill a rival Syndicate’s Colonel. There were three classes of agent to choose from, Offense, Defense and Support, so for the first game I picked Defense. (I say picked, I just hit Start and that was what I got) This gave my character a pretty hefty machine gun, and we waded into battle.

One of the first things we all noticed was that this is not your typical FPS, in that you are not just a team in name only. Even on normal difficulty you do need to stick together, work as a team and make sure you don’t get flanked. And the enemies will flank you, a lot. We were frequently stunned, at first, to find that an enemy had sneaked around and somehow got himself right into the middle of our foursome. This improved once our gracious host, Dan, fiddled with the settings on the PS3s we were using and got the voice working on the rather snazzy SteelSeries gaming headsets we had been provided with. It’s definitely a game you’ll want to be playing with headsets on, and preferably with people you know, particularly if you play on Hard (see later).

Syndicate features a hacking button, being L2 on the PS3 and LB on the 360. Hacking abilities are selected by using the D-pad, but the one you’ll use the most is Heal. You can repair your squadmates’ cybernetic systems wirelessly from a considerable distance, which adds an interesting element to the game, as you can heal while keeping yourself out of trouble. You can also hack incoming grenades, allowing you to defuse them before they’ve even landed, if you’re quick enough. Later in the game, certain enemies have special armour, which is impervious to damage until you can get close enough to hack their system and shut it down. This, again, lends itself very well to team play, with several of you diverting a particularly tough bad guys attention away while another sneaks up and hacks him.

Remember the Colonel I mentioned earlier, who we were being sent to kill? He’s one of those bad guys who has the special armour, and also a terrifying mini gun which rips you to shreds in seconds. Keeping out of his way is crucial to staying alive, but with a little bit of work we soon nailed him.

As there was only one level on display, we swapped consoles to the Xbox 360 for a second playthrough, this time on Hard. Hard seriously lived up to its name. About four feet into the level two of our team were down and requiring a system reboot (the Syndicate equivalent of a revive). This quickly led to a change of tactics. With enemies swarming all over us we had to stick even closer together and keep a spare finger on that oh-so-useful Heal button. It is tough. In fact, I’d highly recommend Syndicate on Hard mode as a corporate team building exercise. I started playing the game with three strangers, but by the end of the level we were a team. Tactics were created on the fly, pairings spontaneously formed, and at the end of the level, I don’t think so many swear words have been thrown at a Colonel since the head of PETA met Colonel Sanders*. (*Note – this may not have actually happened).

I left with a very favourable impression of Syndicate. It wasn’t really what I had expected, but as a big fan of shooters where you work as a team like in Battlefield, it was right up my alley. It looks and sounds good, and I got the impression that the load of new weapons and upgrades that we didn’t have access to at this point could be really fun.

The Syndicate demo is available now on Xbox 360 & on February 1st on PSN.

In this, his first musing blog, Martin muses about an impending time in his life that may affect his gaming habits forever. What could bring about such a change and will he hit a “game over” or just “press A to continue”? You may not be aware of it but it is something that will, eventually, affect every one of us.

Click to play…

Click to save…

Yup. That SUMS me up.

But we’re not here for the story, we’re here for the fighting and what gamers really want from a new game in an established series is new characters and new mechanics and in this respect, SoulCalibur V delivers big time. Once fully unlocked you’ll have a choice from a cast of around 28 characters made up of returning characters and newcomers in about equal measure with some of those newcomers being inspired by older characters, remade and revamped into younger bodies. All of the newcomers have entirely new move-sets and fighting styles so while it might look like Taki, Kilik and Sophitia have just undergone some plastic surgery and been given a new name it’s not the case. The cast feels very well rounded with very little overlap in styles, even the Alpha and Omega versions of Patroklos and Pyrrha play quite differently from their standard alter egos. The position of honorary guest is this time filled by everyone’s favourite assassin, Ezio Auditore and while he might seem a little out of place he’s a darn sight better fit than Yoda!

As you will have come to expect the characters and stages are beautifully rendered. Characters animate beautiful and weapons glow, flash and spark during combat providing visual cues to the sharp eyed player and visual candy to the less experienced. Music is suitably ethereal and dramatic while the heavy amount of voice acting is traditionally cheesy and amusing.

While I’ve always been a fan of the series in the past the more advanced game mechanics have often passed me by, none more so that the Soul Gauge and Critical Finish systems of SoulCalibur IV. Thankfully these have been scrapped, the Soul Gauge has been replaced by a more traditional Critical Gauge bar that fills as you deal and block damage. As this fills you can choose to spend your accumulated power in various ways. Pressing all three attack buttons as a follow up to specific moves or combos will perform a Brave Edge, costing two sections of Critical Gauge it will extend the combo for additional hits and, of course, damage. Costing a full four sections of Critical Gauge, a Critical Edge attack is performed with a standard input across every character and deals huge damage with a flashy big hitting move that can be used to finish or, in some cases, start a combo. These new systems along with counters, advanced blocking and fast movement techniques really amp up the drama and excitement without overwhelming the player.

Beyond the story there is a standard arcade mode featuring the standard cast, a boss rush mode and a quick battle mode that pits you against a seemingly unending number of custom characters, some inspired, some horrific but all entertaining. Keep an eye out for Katsuhiro Harada, the producer of Tekken, who shows up using the bonus ‘Devil Jin’ fighting style! The always welcome training mode offers a huge amount of options for those looking to improve their mastery of the game, the downside here being that, by default, the training mode is very cluttered and it can take some time to get yourself set up. You can also run through each character’s basic moves and combos but again this is hard to navigate and would have worked better as a separate challenge or trials mode.

While my exposure to the various online modes was limited pre-release there is a good selection of modes on offer that each seem to work well. Ranked and player lobbies are present as well as a mega-lobby mode dubbed the Global Colosseo that functions as a huge chatroom for casual play and hosting tournaments. Those wishing to study their performance in more detail, or those that enjoy watching masters at work will welcome the Replay mode. A stand out feature of the player match is the ability switch to a smaller window while observing a match, retaining access to the social functions of the lobby.

I couldn’t end this review without at least touching on the character customisation mode. Expanded from the excellent mode in SoulCalibur IV, everything and every bodypart can be coloured with a vast palette, you can apply patterns and stickers as well as items literally anywhere you wish. The options are quite limitless and the interface is functional and fun to use. You can start with an existing character or go crazy with a fully customisable body shape. More equipment and items will unlock as you play and the promise of DLC (including WINGS) will keep you coming back for more.

The premise of the game is simple. All you need to do is pummel your opponent into the ground. This is done by either defeating each team member or by destroying their crystals on a 9 x 5 playing field.

To get started you will need to find a game. You can send a challenge to your friends via Facebook, Twitter or search by their Hero Academy user name by tapping the plus sign in the right corner. Alternatively to search for a random game tap the lightning bolt next to it. Once done whoever begins the game will start from the left of the screen and the opponent will attack from the right.

With each turn you are given a random choice of six items or players from your unit. You then have five plays, known as Action Points, to click on each player and either upgrade their attacks, increase their defences, move around or attack your enemy. To move, simply tap the character and the squares they can move to will turn blue. To upgrade or heal, tap the item and then the character. Each play is carried out so you can see whether any changes need to be made. Once you’re satisfied, you will then press the ‘tick’ at the bottom right corner of the screen to submit your turn. If you feel you could have done better, you do have the option to undo by pressing the Action Point wheel at the bottom left. You also have the choice of swapping the items you get. To swap an item, tap and drag it to the door in the bottom left of your screen. Be aware that to get your new items you will need to confirm your turn first and any changes will have to wait until your opponent has made their move.

Across the playfield there are four squares that you need to be familiar with. At each end of the playfield is two deploy zones. Depending on which direction you’re attacking, this is where your chosen team has to start. The additional squares are there to help your team cruise to victory. The blue shield helps to increase the units’ defences, the sword increases the damage you inflict whilst the purple assault tile lowers the opponent’s crystal defences. Once you have knocked down your chosen opponent you get to see them lie dramatically on the floor. In order to finish the job, you will need to stomp on them by standing on their square. However if your team mate happens to be knocked down, you do have the chance to heal them using spells cast by your team or potions from your items.

Hero academy also gives you the chance to buy some really cool items so you can customise and spice up your game. If you have gotten bored of playing as default team The Council, you can always buy another team called The Dark Elves. You can also choose what colours your team wears for home and away games, buy avatar packs to change the display picture and even get more taunts to shout at your opponent after submitting your turn.

I have never played a tactical turn based game so I wasn’t 100% about what to expect. Luckily for a newbie like me, there is the tutorial that gives a ‘How to’ guide and even a video of hints and tips. Now I understand the game that bit better, I’d recommend giving a shot if you are looking for something which you can play on the go and really get your teeth into.

As per usual, I got home, got changed into my jammies, sat in front of my TV, popped in the game and played. Just as always, I set the difficultly to “Normal”. I do this until I get a feel for the game mechanics, so once I feel that I’ve got the flow of the game, I pop the difficulty up to Hard just for fun.

Now, the prologue of “Bayonetta” is a wee bit deceptive; you don’t have a health bar, so you think you’re amazing at the game, which leads you to believe that you’re totally indestructible. Happy days!

"Are you looking at my Big Guns?"

Then they introduce the health bar in chapter one, which is fair play to be honest. What’s the point in playing a game if you can’t die? So after the initial training and chapter one, I thought, “Yup. Got the hang of this, up to Hard we go!” Well, that was a big mistake. Not only did I well and truly get my arse handed to me, it wasn’t a one off either. Once I had died three times by the middle Chapter Two, I got the picture. I decided I didn’t actually have the hang of the game. Back to Normal I went!

That would normally be it but that’s not the end of it. By the end of Chapter Four I’d lost count of how many times I’d died. I’ve got my fingers, so means that I’d died at least ten times, but the problem was that after that I’d run out of fingers! I was mortified. I’d died too many times for it to be enjoyable.

Back to hell I go... again. Again. Again. Again.

I can’t remember the last time in a game I’ve put the difficulty to Easy. It’s almost embarrassing to admit. The problem that I had, was that I now walked through every stage with minimal damage and ergo, there was no challenge. I was in a real pickle. The game now bored me to tears because there was no challenge. I was the ultimate “Bullet Witch” but lets be honest, I was playing on Easy. So I cranked the difficulty up to Medium… and completed the chapter, with minimal casualties.

Chapter Five brought a whole new meaning to the phrase ‘There are some defeats more triumphant than victories.’ I was really triumphant at dying but that didn’t help my cause. If I put the difficulty to Easy, I was going to be bored. At the time, though, I was getting pretty bored with dying.

There was a simple solution. Turn the Xbox off and walk away. Put Bayonetta under the bed in Northern Ireland and come back to Glasgow. Forget the whole ordeal. Problem sorted.

The 81^st Comic Market, better known as “Comiket,” was held at Tokyo Big Sight on the artificial island of Odaiba during the last few days of 2011. It’s a spectacularly huge gathering of individuals interested in selling their own original and / or fan works. The event is held twice a year and known to accommodate over half a million people. Each day has a different line-up of “circles” – groups sharing similar interests. Despite having heard of the event years ago, I had always assumed it was for manga fans with stronger… er… resolutions and tastes than myself.

Well, not so. I was pleasantly surprised to find that around all the circles I visited over the course of three days there really wasn’t too much making me blush compared to what I’d seen a few months earlier at the Reitaisai convention taking place at the same time as VocaFes. Naturally, I had gone there to pick up CDs with saccharin synthesised voices entwined with electronic beats rather than the lovingly hand-drawn self-censored hardcore pornography.

While the primary focus of Comiket is, of course, indie comics, there is also plenty of room for indie games, music, plushes, fanzines and stationery. Some really out there themes too – after a fan comic of promotional satellite company characters? Bare circuit boards with anime girls etched on them? DVDs with high resolution images of a specific train or abandoned housing? Nokia N-Gage fanzines? Mr. Donut’s “Pon de Lion” character erotica? You’re in for a treat.

I was attending Comiket with two goals in mind – pick up a bunch of new indie PC games and any interesting fan manga of series I knew and loved. Turns out I should have multiplied my initial budget several times over.

The first day of Comiket was relatively calm. It was the day all the RPG and other videogame fan manga was available to buy. Mostly girls about on this day for some reason. People weren’t walking into me and sweaty forearms weren’t being rubbed against me so I was happy enough. The second and third days were pretty frantic by comparison with a lot more people pushing themselves through the crowds so that they could visit every circle they’d mapped out on their clipboards. I can only imagine the nightmare this event must be during Japan’s sweltering summer heat. Comiket regulars shell out a few thousand yen for Argos-sized catalogues showing samples of every artist on offer and full details of every stall that will be around over the three days of the event.

Due to the nature of all the goods at the event being self-published and printed, once someone has sold everything they close up shop and move out. Unless they’re collecting 3DS Miis, of course. I myself picked up hundreds upon hundreds of Miis, collected all the puzzle pieces and passed StreetPass Quest 2 several times over those three days, so I understand the draw of sticking about. Comiket’s doors open at 10AM but many enthusiasts arrive at the crack of dawn as some circles have very, very limited amounts of special-edition goods. The queues were moving at a decent pace by the time I arrived at around 11AM each day, but were still much more spectacular in size than anything I’ve ever seen before. My beanie goes off to the Tokyo Big Sight security staff.

So, down to the spoils… while I was in the mood for fan manga from several circles in particular (Devil May Cry comes to mind) I was a little disappointed to find that many circles were completely devoted to man-on-man relationships ranging from lots of holding and warm embraces to covers that had R18 labels and much more besides on the front. These were very popular with the ladies. Each to their own, by all means, but the furthest I was willing to go was having Barry Burton just getting a bit chummy with Wesker. I picked up almost everything I saw. Smash Bros. dominated in terms of sheer volume, but much smaller franchises also had representation. My absolute favourites were the very professional-looking Puyo Puyo, Pop’n Music and ICO manga.

On the second day Touhou Project took up a whole hall for themselves. They’re known for their bullet hell shooting games, but they have expanded in a large way in the past few years thanks to their popular characters. The third day had a more general indie game section, but it was still by and large shmups. Prices ranged from free all the way up to around ¥2,500 (near enough to £20) depending on the fame and expertise of the developers as well as the quality of the packaging. The average game was ¥500 and came in a CD sleeve or CD single case with a title sleeve slipped in, while the flashy ones were usually ¥1,000 and came in DVD cases. My Japanese isn’t great, so the simpler the game, the better. Didn’t stop me picking up an awesome looking chibi-anime RTS though!

Aside from everything I’ve already mentioned, Comiket is also considered to be the cosplay event to go to whether you want to cosplay yourself or fancy yourself as an alternative fashion photographer. In all honesty I’ve become weary of taking cosplay photos after several Tokyo Game Shows and World Cosplay Summits. Comiket dwarfs these events – it’s a different beast altogether.

Some people's idea of hell.

When I thought about this, I immediately drew a parallel in my gaming life too. You know how it is, you get a new game and you have to learn the button presses, combinations, moves, strategies and in a lot of cases the foibles of the game mechanic itself. It’s only after climbing that learning curve that you actually start to enjoy the experience.

Of course it’s the goal of game designers to make sure that the curve is as short and/or shallow as possible so as to draw you in and speed up that path to enjoyment so that their product is recommended to friends and the next release goes onto the ‘must have’ list. But I remember my first hour in Assassins Creed: Revelations un-learning what I thought I’d remembered from the previous titles and learning the new button combos to make Ezio and Altair do their stuff. I was the in-game equivilent of the person standing in the middle of the concourse looking at all of the signs in a state of mild panic because they just aren’t positive that they’re in the right place!

I recently switched from auto to manual gear shifting in Forza 4; again a new learning experience which saw me sliding off at more than a few corners but one which was ultimately wholly gratifying as it brought a new level to my driving enjoyment.

Of course it’s easy to draw grand parallels, but here’s what I’ll be remembering: the more I play, the more I’ll enjoy playing, and frankly that’s all I need!

If you have never heard Plug in Baby, then I suggest you do! :D

Plug in Baby; it is still one of my favourite songs by one of my favourite bands, Muse. Explaining that gamertag is a lot better. I don’t sound like a big alcoholic for one! The best experience I had with my gamertag was when I was playing a game of Full House Poker online. I had been in a live match for about five minutes when one of the girls starting humming the song “Plug in Baby”! I couldn’t help but giggle. Then a few more people starting humming and singing along. Before long, anyone who had heard the song in the group was singing along, I was gobsmacked. A song had managed to make a group of strangers start singing with each other and laughing. I was even told by one girl she loved me because that song brought back so many happy memories for her. I don’t usually have strangers say they love me, so I was pleased! Then I started thinking about other people’s gamertags. Some are funny, creative, random and genius.

We all wanna be different; both in real life and on our consoles.

Here are some examples of some awesome gamertags. Thanks to my amigos at Twitter for helping me out!

• Velveteenfrog: ‘velveteenfrog’ is named after a velveteen ‘bean’ frog I had growing up. I still have it!
• GirlWhoWasDeath: Mine’s GirlWhoWasDeath, inspired by a female assassin from an episode of The Prisoner from 1968 (of the same name).
• Markatanksy: My GT is a hybrid of my first name and the surname of the main character in Mad Max, which is ‘Rockatansky’. I’m a massive fan of Mad Max and one day I decided to put those two names together – found I quite liked the result. :)
• Chucklebuck: I saw the word ‘Chucklebuck’ in a montage in the film Ray. It probably just said ‘Hucklebuck’, but I didn’t see it properly.
• PandasaurasRex: Mine (xPandasaurasRex) is a process of animal testing gone horribly wrong!
• NuclearSock: I got “NuclearSock” from a game name generator thing I found on the Internet and I liked it, so I used it for Xbox Live.
• TEA MONSTER: My love for tea. :)
• Xenoliath: I was looking at cool rocks and found ‘Xenolith’. Unfortunately, that was taken, so I threw an ‘a’ in, hence ‘Xenoliath’.
• NonShinyGoose: Mine was given to me by Digitiser’s Mr. Biffo after he took the mickey out of my real name.
• KittyKat1988: Mine is my nickname with my year of creation tagged on the end.
• DezmOnd: DezmOnd came from too many Darrens at LAN parties. Darren and Daz were taken. Dez was the only option which evolved; dezmOnd
• BobTheSkutter: Same as on here, I’m a Red Dwarf fan, and it’s a geeky reference, serves me well.

It’s nice having the chance to create a new identity online and make others sit up and take notice of your name. I thought my name wasn’t very popular till I started high school and had two Laurens in my class! But I’m safe in knowing that there is only one Plug in Baby 85 and that name is staying put for a long time!

In Quarrel you battle your opponent for control of the board. The number of troops you have on a board segment equate to the length of word you can use in the defence of that segment or the attack of an adjacent segment. In a battle both sets of players are given the same set of eight letters from which to form words to their allotted length. If you have less troops than your opponent you’re at a disadvantage but the rewards for beating them will be higher. The strategic element of troop placement and movement is strongly reminiscent of Risk. Word forming brings memories of childhood games of Boggle and student daytimes watching Countdown to mind and the scoring is obviously taken from Scrabble. That might sound like I’m being very reductive but I’m not. You know what sucks about Risk? Losing on a shitty dice roll; there is no skill in that. Boggle? That word length matters more than quality. Scrabble? Not nearly enough fighting! Quarrel is a great combination of all these ideas; a game of risk and reward where the risk is weighted by your skill with words. The real beauty comes from understanding the simple rules to the point of forming a plan of attack. You know how long your opponent’s word can be and they have the same eight letters to choose from as you. It seems obvious but the realisation that you can score more points with a well formed shorter word and work out your opponent’s potential maximum score is quite profound and extremely satisfying.

Playing Quarrel with four friends in party chat brings back memories of the early days of multiplayer Xbox Live Arcade. For me games like Uno, Marble Blast Ultra and Texas Hold’um became a way to hang out with my friends and chat while playing a game. Although due to the the game’s aggressive turn timer it can be hard for the chat to get going. This really should have been optional in player matches, replaced by a simple ‘hurry up’ option that other players could use to force a timer on an absent or lax player. Another odd omission is the ability to choose your favourite tribe to represent you during play. Random assignment is fair enough in ranked matches but again this should have been an option in player and private matches. Quarrel’s simple and welcoming user interface make it a pleasure to play with friends, or at least other humans, but even a single AI player in a four player game can really take the edge off the fun. Quarrel is made to be played with friends, so make sure that’s how you play it.

Wise, wise words from Mr Pratchett there, and there’s no fantasy addict bigger than moi. With less than two weeks to go till Final Fantasy XIII-2 my excitement is building so quickly that I may just explode. Sure, there are plenty of haters out there that slated the first one, but the sales don’t lie. I adored the first one (once you got past the first few hours) and I just can’t wait for the sequel.

What new adventures await me?

Of course, this isn’t the first direct sequel in the Final Fantasy franchise. Sure, there’s plenty of people that slated FFX-2 for it’s extreme campness and crap gameplay, but it did add some fascinating story bits. Seriously, if you persevered to the end there were some great bits hidden in it. I often find myself confusing which bits were in X and which bits in X-2. Brimming with optimism, I assume that XIII-2 is going to have learned from past mistakes and will deliver as solid a gaming experience as any other Final Fantasy title.

I loved the worlds of XIII, the contrast of Gran Pulse and Cocoon, and I just can’t wait to be back there. The alternate timeline idea opens up so many new story options, whilst not treading on any toes. Let’s face it, Lightning was one of the best Final Fantasy girls of recent years – strong yet feminine, looking out for her family and sexy enough without going over the top – and I can’t wait to continue the tale of her and her sister.

Can Lightning save the day?

Needless to say, I have my preorder locked and loaded, and once it arrives I’ll be lost to Cocoon for many months to come. Gorgeous guidebook? Check. Preorder bonuses? Check (went to Game for their extra outfits and additional Omega boss). Awesome looking special edition? Check. Not the crystal edition, however. At £30 more than the special edition “never to be on sale” T-shirt is fairly expensive, especially when there’s no mention of it coming in anything but blokes onesize. I decided not spending my hard-earned cash on enough T-shirt to make a tent was acceptable enough. However, if I spot a girl sized T-shirt anywhere else, I may just have to buy that too.

In short, I cannot wait and will drive everyone around me crazy until I get it. The game I imagine is so wonderful that I will gladly give it a few months of my life, as I have every other title in the series (except XI and XII). However, until February 3rd all I can do is get lost in my imagination and final fantasize.

The game itself is a mostly 2D platformer with a quirky and interesting look, lifted straight from the comic. Whilst the platforming maybe 2D, you do have to look out for traps and enemies in the back and foregrounds, giving it a unique twist on a genre done to death. Scarygirl uses her tentacle in order to help traverse the landscapes with it enabling her to grab items, attack enemies or even hover like a helicopter. Bunniguru dojos can be found to teach you moves along the way. Additionally, you will find wandering shops, in which you can upgrade your Scarygirl by buying new moves, or even attachments for her tentacle to help her fly for longer, swim faster, attack quicker, etc. Of course, all this involves payment, and you’ll find your stereotypical gems along the way to use as currency. You can also be helped by Bunniguru by getting a second player to engage in the drop in/drop out co-op. Of course, we still need a special move, and that involves fighting to fill up your rage meter. Once full, Scarygirl can unleash a monstrous form from within her to create one-hit-kill attacks. The effects are brief, but devastating.

What begins as a peaceful experience soon ends up frustrating, unfortunately, as the challenge curve accelerates quicker than you can upgrade. Additionally, fiddly controls will leave you wanting to throw a pad. Whether it’s picking a path in the foreground, trying to aim your throw, or just fighting some of the tougher enemies, the controls are imprecise and allow you no option to switch to the good old-fashioned d-pad.

As you continue the story, you’ll find the imagination of the developers obviously ran short, as you will find yourself battling swarms of the same enemies with no checkpoints whilst locked in one screen. It seems that Scarygirl suffers from that well known XBLA problem: extending the longevity by making you do huge chunks without a checkpoint, and throwing impossible numbers at you (N.B. Even with these cheap deaths extending my time with the game, it was still completed in less than six hours). Whilst earlier levels can be challenging in an oldskool, “Yes I’m that damn good”, kind of way, by the end of the game you’ll just find yourself grinding your way through, thinking of all the good platformers. Having first been delighted with the quirky look of Scarygirl, I was then delighted when I’d finished it.

Before venturing into the budget world I really didn’t have very high expectations. I mean, what do you want for £1.99, 69p or even for free? Surely there’s no way they can compare to games we’re spending £35 on, for example Batman Arkham City or Battlefield 3. Does a triple ‘A’ title automatically mean that it has to be on the latest generation of console or the highest spec PC?

Picture this: I’m sitting here after Christmas with a pile of Xbox 360 titles. I’ve managed to fight my way through Saints Row the Third and my current guilt building dust collector is Modern Warfare 3. What’s taking precedence over this epic game? Mainly Jetpack Joyride and Hard Lines with some Fractal on the PC thrown in. Sometimes I wish I discovered this world of treasures earlier. It could have saved me a fortune, or maybe just given me a larger pile of dust collecting epic games.

Big Price; Big Budget

So, I’m sitting in the office trying some title that I had been given and moaning about how some people expect to release titles on iOS and expect to ride on the back of the nostalgia train, pulling the money in behind them. I was then asked the question, ‘What do you expect from a game that cheap? Surely if you get half an hour out of it, it’s worth the money’.

It’s a valid point, after all it costs buttons to buy it. However, what about all the other games I’ve got that are absolutely top notch but for the same price. Are they under-priced or do developers simply strive for very high quality no matter what the price? A lot of development companies make up the money from having in-game purchases because after the initial spike of sales post-release it appears to be very difficult to get that back again. Unless you consider yourself a frugal gamer you could end up paying the same amount of money as you would have for a console title, or more.

Prices are being driven down too as time goes on. Top titles on iOS may go for 800 MS points on XBLA but only get 69p on Apple App Store because of the masses of games and applications being released on a weekly basis. Games get lost in the sea of madness and hidden treasures often rely on sites like Ready Up to get the exposure they need. With over 1 billion downloads from the App Store over Christmas it’s no wonder some titles disappear into the black hole.

Hard Lines. A great game with great gameplay and a low price.

I thought I would have been guilty of trying to compare games on iOS to my Xbox 360 but I never really find myself doing it. I suppose I’ve never really compared DS games to console games either. Mostly, PS3 and Xbox 360 games get put head to head but paths never cross the breakdown between console, mobile and handheld.

At the end of the day, you have to ask yourself the question, just because a game is free or cheap should you accept low quality? Personally, I don’t. I compare games around this price bracket and make my decision on that. Standards shouldn’t be low because the prices are low and if you look at the indie developers who are pushing boundaries and enjoying success and recognition, they’re breaking the mould and leading by example.

Luckily for me the folks over at Zen Studios have given me a few easy new things to talk about with this version also being in 3D and portable; pretty much the only two things the Nintendo 3DS has to brag about. I’d like to kick things off with the 3D as that usually tends to be the sore spot when it comes to 3DS games. Allow me to put all fears to rest when I say Zen Pinball should be played with 3D on at all times. Yes, really. Pinball is a game which requires depth and the 3D on the 3DS delivers it perfectly. You can see the multiple layers of the table clearly, which gives this version a huge leg up on its console counterparts, and it also makes the beautiful art and design that goes into every table stand out (if you’ll pardon the pun). It’s one of the rare gems of the 3DS’ library where I felt that the 3D element was a necessity the entire time that I played it.

That nicely covered and out of the way, let’s talk about what you’ll be getting for your £4.50 downloadable. There are four tables, with their own mini-games hidden if you are skilled enough to trigger them, each with their own themes which are: medieval, tribal, treasure hunter, and science fiction. Every table has its own unique multiplier bonuses, style, feel, and play style so there will certainly be at least one table which you will be unable to resist going back to time and time again. This is par for the course with Zen Studio titles as they always provide something for everybody with no substitution of quality of any of the options. My personal favourite was the sci-fi one because: 1) The table is called ‘Earth Defence’, 2) Having a giant robot over look any of my proceedings in a game makes me happy, and 3) Because I was able to get #1 on my local leaderboards on my first attempt – BOOYAH!

There is, of course, a highscore table for both local and online play which will cause joyous glee to show on your face as you leap into the air and proclaim victory while at the same time make the person sitting next to you on the bus want to murder you slowly with a rolling pin. Zen Studios know their audience; we’re a right bunch of score-whores if there ever was one, and they know that one way to make sure a downloadable title remains worthwhile is with extreme competition across a series of skilled levels. If you can nail that 80,000 bonus on the tribal table five times in a row you’ll be in good stead on those leaderboards. That tip is free on me.

Overall? Do I really need to say more. It’s cheap, it’s got insane replayability, it’s got an addictive highscore system, and you can carry it with you at all times and hope your eyeballs don’t pop-out from being unable to turn the 3D off the entire time you play it. If I were to criticise it in any way, it’d be the size of the screen. The 3DS does not have a screen size worth envying and so the default camera position can make it very difficult to pick out some of the finest details and shots on the table. My solution? Switch to Camera 5. Follows the ball the whole time and makes EVERYTHING a Hell of a lot easier. Done and dusted! Rack another winner up to Zen Studios. I’ll see you on the leaderboards (I’m ‘DNK’).

TORA organises various online motorsport races and championships; the majority of which utilise the Xbox 360 platform and Forza Motorsport 4. Their online championships are inspired by real world motorsport series, such as the British Touring Car Championship, Le Mans Series and British GT. These TORA championships are given the same degree of seriousness as their real life counterparts, which is evident in their recognition as the first virtual racing club to be recognized by a real world motorsport organization: the MSA (Motorsports Association UK)

For over four years now TORA has been the home of British online racing, attracting a wide range of people, from the most dedicated online racer to the casual armchair motorsport fan. TORA has some of the finest Forza Motorsport players in the world racing in its series just now, but they are also very welcoming to anybody who is just starting out their online racing experience. With a friendly and helpful community behind the on-track action it is easy to become involved within TORA and to be treated with the same respect as their long standing members. Some of the members of the community don’t even race online, but they visit TORA to talk about their motorsport and video game hobbies with many like-minded  individuals.

So you’re ready to race, you think? Well, to make your Forza world complete, Ready Up and TORA have teamed up with our good friends at XBox to bring you an amazing competition with some fantastic prizes including t-shirts, Wireless Speed Wheels and a whole bunch of Forza merchandise and topped off with an amazing Forza 4 race jacket. Trust me, you need this in your life!

The rules are simple, follow @readyup and @TheReal_TORA and complete the form below. That’s it, you could be the lucky recipient of probably the most desirable piece of raceware around! We have divided the prizes into three jamed packages.

1st Prize:
Forza 4 Jacket (L)
Copy of Forza 4
360 Wireless Speed Wheel
Forza Car Cleaning Kit
Plus a Forza Air freshener, keyring, stress ball.

2nd Prize
Forza 4 T-Shirt (M)
360 Wireless Speed Wheel
Plus a Forza Air freshener, keyring, stress ball.

3rd Prize:
Forza Air freshener, keyring, stress ball.

In addition TORA will be giving away another 360 Wireless Speed Wheel as well as T-Shirts and other goodies throughout their current race season so get involved there for even more chances to win.

[contact-form]

So you can probably see why I didn’t understand why a few people on my friends list weren’t impressed with it – I was thoroughly confused. Then I made the genuine mistake of playing with random players, just a quick match to see where the game took me and it suddenly all made sense. If you’re not playing with communicative and active team players, this game is worse than bad, it’s depressing.

If you’re a regular Battlefield 3 player, you know that getting stuck on the opposing team when everyone else in your Xbox Live party is working together is a miserable experience. Jumping into a tank or a helicopter only to find the person piloting it is not part of your squad is considered as stealing a vehicle. I can hear it in people’s voices when they realise they’re on “the wrong side”, it’s like realising you’ve gone to the wrong cinema to watch a movie with friends.

Our very own Simon Allen tweeted that he thought the game was appalling and that he was going to trade it in as soon as possible. I was so shocked that I asked him to play with some of our regulars before he did so. I think everyone should experience the game in the environment under which it was designed before making a judgement.

Outside of Battlefield 3, I’ve come to realise that just playing in the same game with friends isn’t enough. I’ve got a big enough friends list to mean there’s segments that don’t play the same game the same way I do and it changes my experience completely. Before Battlefield 3, I spent most of my time playing Call of Duty and whilst the Xbox Live parties playing Ground War are sociable, it’s more like being down the pub with friends.

Now don’t get me wrong, I love spending time online hurling hot lead mindlessly whilst catching up (just ask Duncan and Laura) but it doesn’t give me the same sense of achievement. The reason is that whether our team wins or loses, we only really care about our personal KDRs. When we win a game of Battlefield 3, it’s because everyone played their part. I start enjoying the fact we won before the scoreboard comes up and that feeling is extremely addictive, just ask Tony.

I may never use this button again.

So this is a plea to all those who’ve bought Battlefield 3 and haven’t yet taken an active, communicative role in a game they’ve had with friends – just do it. If you can only find one other person to play with, form up as a fire team and work together. When I first started playing the game it depressed me but now I might as well glue my drive shut.

Have you ever sat playing Civilization and thought: “This game could use some more magic spells or perhaps a few vampires”? Apparently you are not alone as publishers Paradox Entertainment, the company behind the recent King Arthur II RPG, and developers Ino-Co Plus (who worked with Paradox on Elven Legacy) have been hard at work on Warlock: Master of the Arcane. Expected for release in the second quarter of 2012, Warlock is set in Ardania, the universe established in Majesty: The Fantasy Kingdom Sim, and in many respects is a reimagining of that game in the form of a modern turn-based strategy.

Like Majesty, Warlock sees you building an elaborate kingdom full of pubs, goblin guilds, mage towers and castles. Whilst in the older game you couldn’t control heroes directly (instead influencing them with rewards), in Warlock you churn out troops and command them around a large map in an attempt to take out rival kingdoms. The spectre of Civilization inevitably looms large over the game, particularly in the hex based grid (which was such a welcome addition in Civilisation V).

Like Civilization, the thrust of the gameplay is on resource management. Whilst keeping your stores full of grain and your coffers full of gold may be a familiar proposition to many armchair strategists, the additional resource of mana (produced by mana traps and, strangely enough, pumpkin fields) is somewhat less familiar territory. And you better make sure you have enough of it, because the huge amount of spells you can research throughout the game are certainly expensive to cast (perhaps too much so, indeed).

It took Civilization five iterations before it introduced hexes. Warlock is doing it straight away.

The build we played was still in its early stages, but Paradox have a fine pedigree in the strategy simulation genre with long running series such as Europa Universalis and Pride of Nations under their belts, so the end result is sure to be balanced enough to keep strategy-heads happy. However, the game’s presentation, which differs greatly from the somewhat dry nature of their staple titles, may make it their most accessible title to date, and if the recently released Elven Legacy is anything to go by the final product should look pretty good too.

There are certainly problems that need to be addressed, however, primarily with the somewhat clunky interface and the fact that there are as yet no tech trees (or spell trees in this case) or clear descriptions of what anything does (though we’re fairly sure these will be added). Particularly frustrating is that you have to right click to deselect a unit, but doing this anywhere other than open ground will call up an information window instead. Even clicking on a unit in the first place is an unnecessarily tricky case of pixel-hunting which often results in you opening the city build screen instead. It’s also excruciatingly easy to send your army in completely the wrong direction (or send them through a magical portal to another dimension where they are immediately obliterated by elementals), suggesting that the game would benefit greatly from an Ogre Tactics style rewind button. However, all of these problems can be fixed by a robust QA process and a few months spit and polish.

Little did the sleepy hamlet of Axelos know that the goblin hordes were about to invade!

Just as Majesty borrowed from the fantasy RPG genre, Warlock allows each of your troops to level up, allowing you to select perks to make them even stronger. The game also has four distinct victory conditions, one of which is to kill God’s avatar and absorb his power in order to become a demigod! It’s touches like these that differentiate Warlock from Civilization and if these elements are allowed to shine through then Warlock could stand to become a very welcome addition to a genre dominated by Sid Meir’s classic.

Having blown away years of cobwebs, Paradox are certainly making the most of the Majesty franchise this year. Not only do we have Warlock and the port of the original game on mobile devices, but there is the forthcoming Defenders of Ardania on Xbox 360, PSN and Steam, which sees the series moulded to fit the tower defence genre.

Guess where I'm going to plant this?