On a fine winter’s morning I awoke to find a rapping at my window. In my dreamy haze I assumed the local Mormons had grown 15 feet tall, or worse, people who knew me might be trying to communicate via pebblegram.

I peeked out the curtains to find a chubby little Delivery Moogle fluttering outside with a parcel in tow. I opened the window and he performed a mid-air backflip as he flew in, only to reveal a packet of Moogle Munch and sticker sheet.

The Mog seemed to insist that I make use of the stickers, but I wasn’t having any of it. I assured him that one day down the line, I would probably find them in a drawer, get wistful for a moment, take a well-framed photo of them, then slap on a filter for good measure.

He gave me an affirming “Kupo!” and gestured towards his furry tum.

I asked if he might want to stay a while for a cuppa, and he was only happy to oblige. After steeping up a brew, we played some two-player Final Fantasy IX and helped ourselves to the chilli and lemon popcorn he’d brought along.

“Who’s this from anyway?” I asked, now somewhat concerned by the alarming flavours melting in my mouth, and the gaseous build-up in my stomach.

“Kupopopo!” he replied.

“Well, that’s very helpful.”

After hanging around with the Mog for another half hour or so, I realised I had no idea what he was saying, and the possibility that these pieces of popped corn might have been laced with more than chilli and lemon.

I thanked the Mog for the delivery in any case, not wanting to offend him more than I already had, opened the window, and he wobbled out on his merry way.

I need to stop accepting treats from strangers.

Moogle Munch breakdown:
Lemoniness: FFVII/FFXV
Chilliness: FFX/FFXV
Tea combo suitability: FFIV/FFXV
Burp factor: FFXII/FFXV

Disclaimer: Popcorn and sticker sheets actually nicked from Secret Weapon in Stratford, London shortly before a patron knocked a pint all over the bar.

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