The GNEWS is now a thing, unpretentiously presenting the bare facts of gaming news without opinion or comment. Regarder:

Mario Kart 8 is also a thing

The new Mario Kart game is doing pretty well for Nintendo, with UK Wii U console sales apparently increased by 666% following the game’s release, indicating that there are now at least 667 Wii Us in UK households. This is so important that Forbes (!) have reported as much, so that happily means I don’t have to link to Kotaku/Joystiq/Polygon/Eurogamer/Destructoid for once. We’ll see how long that lasts.

Polygon (balls) released a list of Mario Kart series sales to date in an article during which they presumably made some intelligent point or other. I’ve thoughtlessly extracted the below list of sales figures, which I can only blindly assume are worldwide:

Super Mario Kart – SNES – 1992 – 8.76 million units sold
Mario Kart 64 – N64 – 1996 – 9.87 million units sold
Mario Kart: Super Circuit – Game Boy Advance – 2001 – 5.47 million units sold
Mario Kart: Double Dash – Gamecube – 2003 – 6.95 million units sold
Mario Kart DS – DS – 2005 – 23.56 million units sold
Mario Kart Wii – Wii – 2008 – 35.53 million units sold
Mario Kart 7 – 3DS – 2011 – 9.62 million units sold
Mario Kart 8 – Wii U – 2014 – some units sold

However, regardless of how many copies it sells, the biggest contribution Mario Kart 8 will make to our rich cultural tapestry is the addition of a new internet meme: Luigi’s Death Stare. Kotaku (balls) have helpfully brought some of the best examples together for your learned perusal here. The rest of the Internet is no doubt over this already but I’m still at the stage where I find it hilarious, so deal with it.


The world’s largest videogame collection is up for sale

A chap called Michael Thomasson is selling his ~11,000-strong game collection. You can bid on the collection at GameGavel (me neither) here. The leading bid at time of writing is an entirely plausible $90,751. The collection doesn’t just include games, it also comprises some amusingly ridiculous gaming consoles and devices from yesteryear, such as the Nintendo Virtual Boy, the Atari Lynx and the Microsoft Kinect.

Pre-E3 announcement pre-announcements

E3 has happened. In due time, there will be the full in-depth GNEWS analysis that you’ve come to expect. For now though, I did pry a couple of the juicier titbits from the GNEWShounds’ ghastly maws in the build-up to the event. For starters, the sexy new Batman game has been delayed until 2015. It was originally slated for release by the end of this year, but that always seemed optimistic.

Also set to hit shelves in 2015 is a new Mortal Kombat game. As ever, the Latin Post has all the essential details here. The excellent trailer lays out a swishy new dynamic presentation direction for the series whilst reassuring us all that bones will still be crunched in appalling ways. However, apparently said trailer is not representative of actual gameplay so like, whatevs, bruv.


The GNEWS continues to champion Indie games when no one else will

Once upon a time I was addicted to PC Gamer magazine. Tom Francis used to write for PC Gamer, and he was very good. Then, last year he released the hit videogame Gunpoint, which resolutely sits atop the pile of games that I really rather ought to get around to playing soon. Now, Tom Francis is doing… something else… which you can read all about here, on his blog. Part one of… something else… is a new grappling hook game called Floating Point, which you can get for free right now.

Also, whilst idly stroking the alpha GNEWShound’s snout and flicking through Twitter at the end of last week, I noticed that retro-looking wander ’em up Home has been confirmed for a PS4 and Vita release some time this year. I already played it on PC, enjoyed it, and words were said at the time.

And finally…

The Metal Gear Solid movie is still possibly going to happen. They might even have a director nobody has ever heard of lined up. What do the GNEWShounds and I think, you ask? Well, as longstanding fans of the series we think that any adaptation would be unfilmable, akin to attempting to adapt the Encyclopaedia Britannica into a movie if it were twice as long and had a less cogent narrative.

That said, as it’s not our money we’d love to see someone carelessly throw $100 million at a Hideo Kojima-helmed effort, starring Matthew McConaughey as Liquid and Jaime Lannister as Solid Snake.

"Metal...Gear? Please give it our regards."
“Metal… Gear? Please give it our regards.”



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One response to “THIS IS THE GNEWS – Part 2”

  1. Hambino avatar

    Surely GNEWS deserves its own rolling 24 hour TV news channel (complete with news copter).

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