Young Man Climbing Simulator

After playing Assassin’s Creed: Revelations, I thought it was time to give something else a go. Recently becoming the proud and belated owner of a PS3 and hearing everyone rave about Uncharted, I went into it fairly blind and thinking ‘yay, adventure game’.

Only upon playing through the first chapter or so and realising who voiced Nathan Drake and what I was actually being asked to do, it was a giant facepalm because I essentially went from Old Man Climbing Simulator to Young Man Climb (And Shoot) Simulator.


Not that that’s necessarily a bad thing, it just might be in the sense that I was expecting something a little different and didn’t realise just how much climbing there was in Uncharted. At least he wasn’t a Sticky Assassin getting stuck to inconvenient surfaces. The climbing was restricted to times when Drake wasn’t being shot at. It’s just I thought it was a ‘cave exploring’ game, not a ‘climbing in caves’ game. Shows how much attention I was paying since the front cover doesn’t even really show caves, it shows guns.

All the guns!
All the guns!

Anyway, it was fun, pretty much like Indiana Jones although Lego Indiana Jones was, in its own way, more fun. I suppose I’m reluctant to slate Uncharted because of the worship it gets, although perhaps fans will forgive me for not really enjoying the first game.

Well, it was kind of fun. I didn’t hate it. The climbing wasn’t that difficult, just fiddly. The story was entertaining and Nathan Drake is cooler than Desmond although let’s be honest, so are most other game characters. Navigating a speedboat and shooting at things was annoying though. No, scratch that, navigating a speedboat up a freaking river against the current with explosive barrels in the water was annoying and just unnecessary.


The various people I had to shoot were pretty funny though – there was one guy who I labelled ‘Spray and Pray’ because he would leap out, spray machine gun bullets and then leap back behind cover on his knees. Also the game took a turn for a weird when it brought out those zombie-like creatures, or really Cursed Spaniards? Germans? Wait, why are you all wearing the same loincloth? Is that part of the zombie transformation?

They were all after Drake's cool clothes, really.
They were all after Drake’s cool clothes, really.

What I’m trying to say is that Uncharted was a mixed experience for me, far from the Barrel of Awesome I was expecting. It was because when I told people I intended to play Uncharted, they took a hushed, almost reverent breath and said “Uncharted? Oh, that’s amaaazing. You’re going to love it.” Actually, it’s similar to how I react when people tell me they’re playing Mass Effect and the first game was terrible in its own way compared to what came after. So it’s probably the same thing. The rest of the Uncharted games – and I will play them eventually – I’m expecting to be great. They’d better be great!



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One response to “Young Man Climbing Simulator”

  1. Simon avatar

    I’m on rooooughly the same page as you with Uncharted I think, but I would say that Uncharted 2 improved everything, so maybe try that if you have a spare twenty hours.
    The Last of Us is the real masterpiece though. I caved a guy’s head in with a brick!

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