10 Second Ninja

“There’s nothing more awesome than a Ninja.” – Robot Hitler.

Usually a quote like this would leave someone perplexed yet curious, as if they’d found out about David Cameron’s Pokémon card collection. With 10 Second Ninja I went into the game expecting a competent skill based game with decent gameplay and a pretty thin plot, ala other indie skill based games like the original Angry Birds. I certainly got the well-polished gameplay, but although I got a meatier attempt at a plot than I expected, a more ephemeral one might have left a better impression.

You have 10 seconds to clear the screen of enemies, but don't worry. You have unlimited lives to waste whilst you figure out the best way to do it.

You play as the ‘first’ Ninja in his fight against a horde of inter-dimensional robot Nazis, as you do. This is one form of video game Nazi extermination that I’d yet to experience, and I was excited to begin with. In each level you have 10 seconds to rid your screen of enemies via sword or shuriken, and earn stars depending on your performance. From the outset this sounds a lot like Angry Birds, and 10 Second Ninja turned out to work much the same way: the game demands that players increase their skills in order to advance, with Boss battles literally being bought with the stars you earn from levels.

My problem with this is that the game isn’t quite skill-based, because each level requires individual attention, and you’ll be unlikely to earn top points on your first try. I found my first few attempts at each level revolved around finding the best strategy, and the next twenty or so were dedicated to following the pattern as fast as possible. The fact that the game requires perfect execution with a very strict time limit left me feeling pretty frustrated, and although I could put up with it for the sake of level progression I definitely had no desire to get 100% of the stars. In a game like Angry Birds you gradually learn the physics of the game and have a wide arsenal to employ, so that in later levels you have a high chance of doing well from off the bat, whereas in 10 Second Ninja each level started to feel like a grind.

Honestly, who DOESN'T love repeating levels in search of stars? A heh.

Another thing that harmed the game for me is that it was trying too hard to be funny when there’s no need: a huge pet peeve of mine. The set up for the plot itself is already funny; the idea of robot Nazis attacking ninjas prior to global invasion has a lot of potential for silly humour, but almost all of the game’s jokes were wasted on stale gags. The worst one for me was the introduction to the second world, where a joke about Robot Hitler trying to paint despite having no hands is repeated about 3 times over what felt like 10 minutes of teeth grinding dialogue with an underling. Jokes like this wouldn’t usually be so bad in a game as low budget as this, but the game doesn’t even attempt to use comedic timing when it tries to be funny. Fighting Robot Hitler in a party hat is funny. Having a 5 minute cutscene of him talking with a lackey to Star-Fox-esque speech bleeps isn’t funny, and didn’t motivate me to get to the next one.

Robot Hitler instructing his minions to fight ninjas... you see, a set up like this has a lot of comedic potential, but most of it is wasted in tedious cutscenes.

I had a decent amount of fun with 10 Second Ninja, but I didn’t think it was anywhere near perfect. I’m not the kind of gamer that enjoys grinding for points; I’m happy as long as I get to the next level. It was a fun little distraction, but the need for stars to unlock levels and the wasted comedic opportunities of the game’s premise meant that it lacked any real staying power with me. 10 Second Ninja was fun for a while, but it’s not something I’ll be going back to anytime soon.

 


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