Confessions of a Gamer – The ‘C’ Word

We often have proud moments in games – be it the time you completed your first game or getting the most challenging trophy or even the most ridiculous kill/death ratio mankind has ever seen. This blog, however, is not about any of those things. It’s a collection of the darker, more secret moments in gaming life. These are the confessions of a gamer. Please don’t judge me too harshly.

I’ve never really been into online gaming, always preferred doing my own thing in my own time. Even when I played online capable games, they were purchased for the single-player campaign and, once completed, they would be sentenced to live at the back of a cupboard, or traded in for my next single-player experience.

One day, though, it all changed. The reason for the change was when I’d done particularly well at a new shooter combined with a little peer pressure. I’d played previous installments of the game, however they’d all suffered the same fate as the other games I’d played. Once the storyline of the single player game had been told, I just wasn’t interested, so it took a real world friend hassling me for an inordinate amount of time before I gave it a go. To be honest I played mostly so I’d get a quiet life.

It was when playing online for almost the first time that I first encountered the ‘C’ word and all the hatred and spite that’s associated with it, and I don’t mind admitting that I was totally unprepared. Don’t misunderstand me, I never imagined this online community to be full of people crying “I say! Good shot, sir!” and the like. I never anticipated compliments on my marksmanship or people saying what a nice woman my mother must’ve been, but the ‘C’ word was more than I expected.

a big loud ‘C’ word blasting down the headset is quite a different experience.

The internet has proven many times that anonymity can call out the most base, ignorant, and deplorable actions that otherwise normal people are capable of. I was long acquainted with the trolling of social networks and the abuse that rained down whenever there were no clear consequences to an action, but it turns out that reading it on a web site is very different to hearing it spoken in real time – a big loud ‘C’ word blasting down the headset is quite a different experience.

My gender was no protection from ‘C’ word language either, and even among those I played with on a regular basis no one held back from using it. The fact that someone had just been shot by a girl seemed to encourage people to use it even more. Cries of cheating, insults, and accusations of my inability to play all benefited from the addition of the ‘C’ word, and it was thrown around very liberally.

It wasn’t long before I started to adapt to my new environment, and adaptation here meant adapting to the language being used. Soon I was throwing the ‘C’ word around alongside a few ‘F’ bombs just like everyone else. This kept my teammates amused, especially the ones who actually know me, as they knew I didn’t usually swear this openly.

In a bid to stop swearing and avoid getting frustrated with players on the other side, I would often turn my microphone off and started muting all the strangers in the game, just so I wouldn’t have to listen to the truck load of foul language they’d toss about. Actually, I would mute the whole thing and put some music down my headset if I was playing as a lone wolf. I’d sing and whistle to my favourite songs and I’d stay oblivious to what other players were saying.

Although I’d always do my best not to get drawn into all this bravado and banter, I have to admit there were times when I fell right into it. The guys and I would be on a big gaming session, full house, mics on and the most colourful combinations of surprisingly few words flying about, and then my worst side would emerge. Whenever someone set themselves up in an area where I couldn’t get to them without being taken out myself, and after they’d gunned me down a good few times on the trot, I’d most likely let rip with the swear words myself, and even though he’d probably have muted me I’d employ the ‘C’ word to him.

That’s right! The ‘C’ word would hiss through my teeth.

‘Camper!’.