Podcast Plus is written by the co-host of the Ready Up podcast, and aims to further discuss big or little things that come up in the conversation.

Microsoft’s new Satanbox, a box some said, that was so evil that if you were to so much as look at it, it would instantly turn you into nothing but a pool of liquid DRM.

If you listened to the last podcast, you’ll know that it was the end of (a rather long) season 2, and you’ll also know that I wasn’t on it, due to being away for a week in the Lake District. Aside from missing out on finishing off the podcast for this season, it was a good week to be away. I’d rather unfortunately been hit by the save game bug affecting The Last Of Us (I played for six hours during the exact same six hours the bug existed), so I needed a break before going back. And the lack of connectivity in the area also meant I got away from the sheer, unrelenting hatred being directed towards Microsoft’s new Satanbox, a box some said, that was so evil that if you were to so much as look at it, it would instantly turn you into nothing but a pool of liquid DRM. Not only would Xbox One steal your wallet, film you naked and eat your games, but for an encore, it would pour sugar in your petrol tank while happy-slapping your mother.

About the time I went away, these two expressions were roughly as evil as each other:

“Right, I’m off out to punch a granny in the face and then steal her kitten. And drown it.”

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“You know, I think I might buy an Xbox One.”

Of course, since then, the big news. Microsoft, panicking in the face of an 800ft tall tsunami of negative consumer opinion, has backed down, and done a complete U-turn on their online check-in policies. This news happened to break while the podcast was being recorded, rather spectacularly destroying the relevance of a lot of the conversation to that point. It also spawned a whole new generation of comedians, all simultaneously spouting the same “Xbox 180” joke, like some kind of miniature range of crap humour volcanoes. Ding dong, the witch was dead!

A ripple of light, flowers and colour spread through the world, replacing the darkness, like restoring a guardian sapling in Okami HD. The music swelled, and everyone took a deep breath. The Xbox faithful had their faith restored, and many preorders were placed. Bunnies dared to emerge from their holes and gambolled happily about the newly green grass of a world rid of Microsoft’s evil daily check-ins. People gathered in the streets, rejoicing at the fact that you can now play an Xbox One in a country without internet. Bunting was hung, parties were held.

Until, just hours later, a dark cloud fell across the impromptu street party, and gloom started to gather. Whispers started, and rumours began to spread. Darkness had returned. Word spread around the land, as people hurried inside to avoid the gathering storm clouds. Word had gotten around.

“You still have to have Kinect.”