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Welcome to the kinky corner of Ready Up. Here we can relish in the naked form, both male and female, and what better person to guide you than me. Zoey at your service, your resident sexpert both in and out of the virtual world. With the new year the only sensible thing to write about this time round is the hotties that will be gracing our screens in 2013. Whether you’re playing on a PC, a console or a portable there’s plenty of smoking hot characters and a few adult storylines arriving.

First up, a reminder to all you Wii U fans. One of my all time favourites, Bayonetta, is set to return next year as a Nintendo exclusive and there’s no chance of her being less of a seductress than last time. Look out for new outfits and plenty of skin on show along with more of that school ma’am kinkery. It’s almost enough to make me want a Wii U… almost.

Still got it… *sigh*

Another already familiar hottie is set to return for her third outing on PS3 and 360. Lightning from Final Fantasy XIII fame was always attractive with her more realistic than most FF body and tough but sensitive attitude. Having ramped up the sex appeal in FFXIII-2 the imaginatively titled “Lightning Returns” should really show her at her peak. Ridiculous outfits and outrageous storylines mean this woman could keep us happy for a very long time. A hundred hours of RPR gameplay? Yep, that might just do it.

New faces that you’ll not forget easily are everywhere this year. Whether it’s the sumptuous body of Nilin, the amnesia ridden memory hunter in Remember Me (there are plenty of memories that we could help her to jog…), or the fragile beauty of poor captive Elizabeth in Bioshock Infinite there’s something for everyone. Portable gaming fans should look out for Amnesia (PSP), the Japanese visual novel that sees the nameless female protagonist choosing her partner after suffering from amnesia, in order to try and regain her memories.

Now that is a butt worth spanking!

For thoseĀ  of you wondering if there was any male hotness coming our way then you’re in luck. Whilst there may be significantly more pinups in the female form in 2013 there are a few to watch out for. Dante makes a return as Devil May Cry gets a reboot. He may have been redesigned somewhat but that charm and gorgeous body are still very much present. Additionally, that little known game GTAV is sure to give us an unlikely crush, along with copious amounts of sex and violence and possibly violent sex. And of course, we’re all hooked on The Walking Dead. Why just stare at Daryl on screen when the upcoming game allows you to take control of him?

Whilst a lot of gorgeous familiar faces are returning as we remember them, there is a reboot that cannot be ignored. My beloved Lara Croft, always so strict and in control whilst having a body to die for and that long luscious hair is being stripped back to a younger more nubile self in her origin story. Although most of the Lara we know and love is missing in Tomb Raider (coming to PC as well as consoles so you know there’ll be a nude patch!) they haven’t dialled down the model good looks. If you like your women dominant I’m not sure young Lara will do the job but if you want an experimentally minded, more easily swayed woman then this incarnation of Ms Croft may just be the perfect woman for you. Watch out for ripped clothing and orgasm like grunts when you traverse the landscapes.

Definitely more vulnerable, but maybe that works for you.

Join me next time as we continue our journey into the world where sex and video games collide. And remember: it’s not demeaning or empowering, it’s just hot.

Kinky Character #010: Rayne

Kinky Facts: Star of many forms of media under the title of BloodRayne, this smoking hot dhampir (half human, half vampire) certainly grabbed the attention of a lot of gamers, even if the games themselves didn’t. Pictured here as she was in Playboy, she was designed to be both “menacing and sexy at the same time”. I’d say they succeeded. This is someone who had to grow up quick and has more than a slight understanding of how to use her womanly charms. Constantly dressed in leather, she loves pain play, blood play and big weaponry. She’ll seduce you and kiss you, then drink your blood and leave you a mess on the floor begging for more, as she wanders of to kick some vampire butt.

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