Press SeX to Continue – The Guy Game (NSFW)

Welcome to the kinky corner of Ready Up. Here we can relish in the naked form, both male and female, and what better person to guide you than me. Zoey at your service, your resident sexpert both in and out of the virtual world. This time round I thought I’d show what many lawsuits don’t want you to see as we take a trip down memory lane. See, the fact is that blatant sexuality in games isn’t a new thing to this gen (I’m always thankful for the graphical improvement, however). In fact, it’s better hidden than it used to be. But then, it can’t really get less hidden than The Guy Game.

Released on PS2, Xbox and PC in 2004, The Guy Game was basically a utopia for a drunken gaming night in. The premise was simple – correctly answer quiz questions with up to four players, guess if the hottie on the screen knows the answer, be rewarded by said hottie removing her bikini. There was plenty of in-game video of your women of choice, and it even included some mini-games in which you had to bet the outcomes of such events as topless hula-hooping. Shot during Spring break, it’s no surprise they managed to wrangle enough women who wanted to expose their breasts, but one of them being only 17 (oops!) meant that the game was quickly pulled from the shelves after a lawsuit. The good news is that copies are still around, if only you have the patience to hunt around enough. And Microsoft obviously has no issue with it as you’ll be surprised to hear your 360 is backwards compatibile with it! No such luck with the PS3 though…

So, where does the “game” aspect come into all this? Well, you’ll have to be patient to get enough points to see the boobs uncensored (either that or enter the “super stiffy” cheat). Whilst a girl answering incorrectly means she takes off that pesky bikini top, your points dictate whether you get them censored, slightly blurry or there in all their non-HD glory. Luckily you have a bar that registers from soft to slightly chubby to super stiff to measure how close you are to getting digital boob (ok, even I think that the labelling is probably a step too far. If you’re playing with male friends surely you end up with bizarre homoerotic connotations if you’re all “super stiff”). As the game is episodic, once the boobs are unlocked you can play through the whole segment again without fear of them trying to ruin your perving. If you missed the event of topless women on space hoppers, then why not replay, sit back and enjoy.

With numerous rules that centre around drinking games, this really is a game that should be sponsored by FHM or the like. Even your avatar is a smoking hot cheerleader (although not as smoking as these girls, who are definitely some of my cheerleaders of choice) with the winner of the round seeing a nice vid of their avatar showing their goodies. At the end of the day, even the name of the game shuts out a major chunk of possible gaming audience but it has to be played. Just think of it as “The Boobs Game” and get some beer in for a night of half-assed quiz action and some full-assed nudity.

Join me next time as we continue our journey into the world where sex and video games collide And remember: it’s not demeaning or empowering, it’s just hot.