Press SeX to Continue – Catherine (NSFW)

Welcome to the kinky corner of Ready Up. Here we can relish in the naked form, both male and female, and what better person to guide you than me. Zoey at your service, your resident sexpert both in and out of the virtual world. This issue I’m going to be talking to you about Catherine. Not Zeta-Jones, Bell or even McNeil, although they are all hot, (N.B. If you don’t know McNeil, she’s the smoking hot lesbian on the left. Time to bone up on your fashion, pun intended.), but the rather bizarre story based Japanese puzzle game that graced our shelves earlier this year. While actually a tale about decision making and balancing your life between order and chaos, it is presented as a struggle between two hotties. Who do you choose? Or do you just fuck them both and deny it if you get caught?

The game has two elements: fiendish block puzzles that you have to overcome in your nightmares and the story, in which the conversations you have shape your relationships. Although you don’t get to see any actual sex in the game, it’s a part of the whole story. Katherine (the one with glasses) is your long term girlfriend and, although you don’t seem to spend the night with her during the game, you’ve definitely consummated the relationship. Catherine (the blonde one) appears out of the blue night after night, wanting nothing more than to tear off your clothes and let you act out all your dirty little fantasies. As one of those women who makes eating a cherry look like an x-rated activity, she counters this with her oh so sweet and naive demeanor and voice. Let’s face it, she’s an oversexed Japanese school girl, who never grew up, and there’s nothing wrong with that.

Catherine, the dirty little minx, does what any good girlfriend should do (yes, you should, girls; it’s only polite) and decides to send semi or completely nude photos of herself, in and out of costumes, to keep the attentions of her man. Because obviously being gorgeous, sweet and adoring whilst wanting the kinky sex isn’t enough! In order to keep the affections of either of your ladies you will of course have to send appropriate text messages to them… and by appropriate I mean character-appropriate. Send your girlfriend love and kisses, but talk dirty and comment on the hotness of the photos to keep Catherine happy.

Spoiler alert – If you’re needing something more substantial to make you lust after Catherine, and a reason to solve those god-forsaken puzzles then take this into consideration. She’s really a succubus sent to test men by appearing as whatever form they find most pleasing. Not only does this mean she has such a laid-back attitude to fucking that she’s lying down, legs splayed, waiting for you right now, but it also means you can just imagine her as looking like whatever woman you dream of – Spoiler end.

If you’re still not convinced that dirty texts, semi-nude photos and sleeping around make this the game for you then I have one word for you: cosplay. Cosplay is a strange thing. While the majority of us think it’s something simply for Halloween, it does get an awful lot of attention. The thing I wonder about is what a woman’s trying to say by dressing up as Catherine. Are we to take this as an open invitation to hit on her? Looking at these, I don’t think I’d have a choice!

Join me next time as we continue our journey into the world where sex and video games collide And remember: it’s not demeaning or empowering, it’s just hot.