Cute Chronicles – Cooking Up a Storm

Su-per cutesy happy fun game and craft time!

After all the feelings are finished from the Mass Effect experience, it’s back to casual time-filler games. Like Draw Something and Bejewelled. Oh and I recently started playing Blur, but it turns out I’m terrible at racing games that aren’t Mario Kart so let’s not talk about that. So, inbetween Mass Effect multiplayer sessions where people try to rope you into a scheme like a back alley dealer (“Want to do the credit glitch?”) and more Mass Effect multiplayer sessions where you all die and a certain ginger-haired gentleman saves you all singlehandedly with a shotgun, it’s back to the masters of Kasual: Kairosoft. I’ll try not to slot a ‘K’ in again where there should be a ‘C’. The latest Kairosoft release is the wonderfully titled ‘Cafeteria Nipponica’. You basically run a restaurant. Develop dishes, discover dishes and ingredients, remodel your restaurant, hire and train staff and then hopefully watch the dough roll in!

Kairosoft can’t exactly teach you cooking (neither can Cooking Mama – remember that!) but of course only a fool would think that they could make French fries from toast and potatoes. You’re entering into this experience because you’re a sucker for this kind of game that hides a stern, statistical calculator underneath an exterior of colourful pixels.

Every time a new Kairosoft game comes out, it’s pretty much a case of “oh well, there goes my life for the next couple of weeks.” It’s true! Ever since I got horrifyingly addicted to Game Dev Story, it’s gone from there. However, I’ve started to become pickier with Kairosoft games. It’s not like “yay, play all the things!” Pocket League Story wasn’t really that great. I just don’t really like and/or understand football. Dungeon Village, a more recent release was ok enough, but the beginning part where you’re basically just flat-out broke wasn’t really fun. It isn’t usually, but with Dungeon Village it just felt like trying to get over that initial ‘YOU CAN’T AFFORD TO DO ANYTHING’ wasn’t worth the time or effort.

However, they’ve sucked me in again with Nipponica. It’s because I like cooking, you see. And shamefully play micro-management games on occasion like Diner Dash. And actually quite enjoy playing Cooking Mama, although it’s sort of less fun nowadays without her crazy Engrish accent. Kairosoft games are quite universal, but on this occasion it feels like it was squarely aimed at my demographic and goodness has it hit it.

Every night. Every lunchtime. Eating food and watching my little chefs and waiters cook and portion out that food. Not sleeping because a little chef is working tirelessly through the night to improve a dish. Only saving and quitting when I’ve dropped the phone on my face because I fell asleep partway through the game, and should probably have already given it up.

I’m not really sure how to feel about all of this. It’s all basically the same numbers game wrapped up in a different package with every Kairosoft game. But it’s so cute. I’m already on my second playthrough. The game has given a backhanded reward though – you start off being able to hire people at the same high levels they were when you started the game. Unfortunately, you’re not given any other bonuses. You might be footed with a $6000 salary bill when your restaurant is only making $500 a month if you’re not careful.

Oh and my favourite moment was when I unlocked the pink interior! It’s so bright and colourful!

I’ll leave you all to go and download this game. Do it. But remember this pro tip: don’t bother hiring Gordy Ramsey. He’s a total waste of money.