Micro Leap – Episode 1: Jump

This time it’s a double-length episode!

Ichabod could feel something rough and granular. Could it be some kind of sand? Perhaps gravel? Whatever it was, it was definitely something that Ichabod didn’t expect to be feeling; after all, he was tucked up in his bed. Maybe this was the residual sensation of a dream. One that, once Ichabod opened his eyes, would sharply vanish. Ichabod decided that this was exactly what it as, and so he did open his eyes.

That’s strange, Ichabod thought to himself, I don’t ever remember there being the ruins of a metro station in my bedroom. At this realisation, Ichabod suddenly sat upright, eyes blazed open, scanning his surroundings.

“This isn’t my bedroom!” he cried sharply. “This isn’t my bedroom at all! And that is gravel. Where the hell am I?”

There came a scuffling from somewhere over on Ichabod’s left. He quickly turned towards it with now fearful eyes. He didn’t even have his pyjamas on.

At this point, Ichabod started to really focus on his surroundings. Something unpleasant had happened here: it looked like Hiroshima once did. He was in the ruins of a city; he could tell that by the metro station that was advertising itself. But it had been completely and utterly wasted. Why on Earth had he awoken on the floor of any kind of city, let alone one that had been exposed to nuclear warfare?! And why was he inexplicably not wearing anything at all? Things, it was quite clear, do not get worse than this.

And then the gunfire started. Suddenly, a colossal humanoid creature ran towards Ichabod from over a mound of gravel. It had a futuristic-looking gun the size of a small tree in his hands and was very intentionally pointing it at Ichabod. He ran with the expression of a creature that most definitely prefers things being dead to being alive.

This was all too much for Ichabod, and he thought his brain might snap. He just about managed to scream something.

“WHAT ARE YOU DOING? I HAVE NO PYJAMAS ON!!!”

Ichabod got to his feet as quickly as a man completely exposed to the elements can do and started to run in the opposite direction from which the army mutant had come.

Bullets! They were being sprayed everywhere. Ichabod saw the ruins of another building and ran inside, hid underneath a derelict table and waited. His pursuer entered but was quickly set upon from behind by another of his kind. The two of them fired feverishly and before long met an impasse. They handled it by killing each other. Panting from pure panic, Ichabod tried to lie as still as he could. He finally managed it by passing out.

When he came to, everything was still, save for some gunfire off in the distance. But Ichabod couldn’t move; he was too scared and confused. How had he gotten here? Where was ‘here’ exactly? How could he get home?

What was that?! Movement in the corner! Ichabod was sure of it. It was small. Oh thank goodness it was small! But it was still real and very unwelcome.

“Go away!” Ichabod tried to sound scary. “I mean it, I’ve had enough! Get out of here you little rat!”

The ‘little rat’ was clearly confused as to Ichabod’s orders because it scurried up to him and promptly sat on his chest, staring into his face as closely as it could.

“Oh” Ichabod let out a small declaration of surprise. The creature was very small, only an inch tall. It was completely yellow and had quite big ears for its size. What was most interesting, however, was the flower that was blossoming from a long stalkish part of its head. It was the most peculiar-looking thing he had ever seen in his life, and Ichabod had been to a Courtney Love concert.

The little creature seemed to want to be with Ichabod very much. It stared at him expectantly.

“Um, hello”, Ichabod tried. More staring. “Um, I don’t really know where I am.” Ichabod had no idea why he had said this to something that was little bigger than a frog, but he was feeling very confused.

The little creature started at this with a little jump. It seemed very pleased that Ichabod had spoken.

“Oh”, Ichabod said again. Another little jump.

“Um…” Yet another jump.

“You seem very… small.” No jump. Instead, a mysterious look washed over the little thing’s face. Ichabod speculated that there were many similar faces at the end of Martin Luther King’s “I Have a Dream” speech. After a minute of quiet contemplation, the creature scurried off to the corner of the ruined building, and then scurried back onto Ichabod’s chest, handing him a scrap of paper as it did so.

On the paper, in childlike handwriting, these words were scrawled:

allium hellp ichabod

“You’re here to help me?”

Another excited little jump. The desperation of the situation washed over Ichabod with great intensity.

“This is just great. I have no idea where I am or how in the hell I got here, and the only thing I have for help is a rather excited flower.”

The little creature – Allium, as it had referred to itself – scurried over to the corner and made further excited jumps. It looked to Ichabod as if it wanted him to follow, so he did. Reaching Allium, Ichabod noticed a small mirror hanging on the wall behind one of the columns of the building. It had been smashed, probably long ago, but Ichabod could just about make out his reflection in it.

The face that stared back looked tired and world-weary. It had a scar down its right side and another above its right eyebrow. It was hard to tell its age but was probably between 30- and 40-years-old. It was male but – and this caught Ichabod’s attention the most – it didn’t belong to him.

“Aaaahhhhhggg!” Ichabod screamed out in terror. “That’s not me! Who the hell is that!?! He stumbled and tripped over something. He fell backwards, all the way to the floor, at which point Allium promptly took up his position on his chest again.

“Who is that? That’s not me. That person looked like they belong here. I don’t belong here. I belong in my bed! What’s going on?”

Allium then turned over the note he had previously given Ichabod. On this side there was a second message that had clearly been written by the same author of the first. It said ‘solve puzle finish mishun’.

“Solve puzzle?” Ichabod had reached his limit. “You think this is the time for playing games? You think we should start enjoying ourselves, hey, just like these Stupid Mutants did? You think that if I go over to this stupid thing, pick up his gun and start firing it at people just for the sheer bollocks of it, maybe because he took offence to another trying to fit a tank through a doorway, or maybe because he couldn’t quite understand why someone would be laying completely naked in the middle of a wasted city, which, for that matter, I find somewhat confusing myself, and maybe he…”

At that moment, in the midst of Ichabod’s frenzied gesticulations, the gun did go off and a burst of bullets hit a huge sign hanging next to the building, causing it to fall onto a nest of overgrown ants, killing them all.

Suddenly everything went purple, then yellow, then blue, then a dirty kind of white, before finally coalescing into the most definitive shade of coral pink.

Ichabod awoke with Allium atop his chest. “Where… where are we now?” Everything had changed; the rubble had been replaced with stretches of luscious green grass; the ruins had been replaced with mountains that disappeared into the clouds; the Stupid Mutants had been replaced with beautiful exotic birds.

Ichabod couldn’t help but stare at this beautiful place. “Well, it’s not home”, he started, “but at least it’s peacef…” His sentence was broken by the sound of gigantic thudding footsteps and the crackling of branches being broken. He turned around and saw nothing less than a tyrannosaurus rex approaching at great speed.

Allium, with eyes that seemed to grin, presented Ichabod with a new note:

ichabod completed mishun

“Great” Ichabod muttered, then blissfully passed out.

To be continued…