Ugly Like Me

It’s hard being an icon, even harder being a cute icon, someone that almost everyone recognises.  Don’t get me wrong, it’s really nice to be admired and cooed over by adoring fans, it’s heart warming to be looked upon so affectionately that you can feel the love exuding from the pores of your admirers.  Sometimes though, it can be a total hassle, sometimes you just want to go about your life in anonymity. So it was great recently, when something happened that changed the way many people look upon me forever.  What wasn’t particularly great was that there were looks of disgust and disapproval, double takes that made me think there was something really wrong with me.  Let me take it all back a little bit to where it began.

How a gaming icon should be.

Up until a few years ago I was an unknown. I had yet to make my presence felt in the games industry; it’s a hard industry to crack and become prominent in.  I decided that the only way I would be taken seriously was to attend events and make people aware of who I was. It worked a treat.  Almost everyone I came in to contact with welcomed me with open arms; I was overwhelmed at the response, this was like nothing I could ever have dreamed of. From nowhere and being nothing I was soon catapulted in to the big time and my ego was being fluffed all the way.  It wasn’t quite an overnight sensation, more of a slow burner, that with word of mouth and being connected with the right people, propelled me in to the limelight. I’d suddenly made it in to the games industry.  I have to admit that there was a small blip on my radar very near the start of my burgeoning career, sadly because of a poor music choice I’d made. It wasn’t a big thing but some people made out that it was evil!  Luckily it all subsided quickly and I set about my aim of world domination.

Words I'm sure we all agree with.

As with any position in the public eye, it seemed that my popularity had started to wane over time and I found that people had started to forget about me in large numbers.  It wasn’t because I was no longer in the spotlight, it was merely the fact that I was no longer the “Johnny come lately” and they had all moved on to pastures new. I tried to keep putting up some fresh content to appease the hardcore followers and they still welcomed me with open arms.  In fact, it was the hardcore followers who kept my spirit alive; some very talented people kept my ideas fresh and some added incredible new twists on my, already amazing, work.  It is highly flattering when people have such an affinity with your work that they take you in to their lives and produce work which has its foundations rooted in something that you have already created and stamped as your own.

Great merchandising. Oh wait, they are holding consoles, didn't see them!

Of course, like many that have passed before, it was only natural that I should have my second coming.  Not long after I had burst on to the scene I was ready to bring back my charm that had enthralled so many people the first time around.  Of course, I couldn’t just get away with re-hashing all my previous work and re-skinning it, I had to add more than had come before.  So, throwing caution to the wind, my second coming was heralded with more of the same but a huge dosage of something greater.  To my utter delight, it all went fantastically!  The masses that had deserted me, returned and once again held me close to them. I was once again integrated in to their lives, it felt good.  Before long the praise was flowing in, even more flattering than before, I was quite overwhelmed.  In a space of three years I had hit the peak of what I could achieve not once, but twice.  Alas, it is here that problems started.

Around the middle of last year, a company became aware that I was due to make a comeback and they wanted a piece of the action.  Sadly, the people that had helped me to prominence allowed them a cut of the pie; I was powerless to stop them.  Since June of last year I awaited the results, every time it was due I would get word that it had been postponed for another month. Come November all correspondence stopped.  I genuinely thought it was all over, then I received an email last week telling me that what I had been waiting so long to see was finally on its way to me.  In retrospect, I wish I’d never seen it!  Please be understanding when you see the next picture, I’m so ashamed, what have they done to me?!

FFS. Have they never seen me! Who is this?

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