Driving Lessons

I passed my driving test last week.

I can barely believe how quickly the time between my first lesson and having my certificate placed into my hand has passed. I remember climbing into the driving seat during my first lesson, where I proceeded to yelp as I reached the dizzying speed of 5 miles per hour, as well as the exact lesson where the dreaded reverse gear was introduced.

And now, here I am, with the ability to climb into a car and drive off unsupervised (or at least when I get my insurance sorted out, anyway).

I’ve learned something during my lessons (along with the general operation and maintenance of four-wheeled vehicles, obviously): real driving is nothing like videogame driving. Whereas you can hold a button on a controller to blithely overtake another racer virtually, reality is another thing. There are so many things you need to stay on top of while driving: your gears and speed, oncoming traffic, developing hazards, road signs and directions… the list goes on.

The biggest difference I’ve noticed, is the potentially high aggression levels of other drivers. While most motorists you encounter are sound-of-mind individuals, remaining vigilant yet considerate of their fellow drivers, you’ll inevitably run into a complete and utter arsehole on the odd occasion. Whether it be blasting past you at twice the speed limit, undertaking you on a single-lane carriageway or honking impatiently at a learner (I should know, it’s happened to me once or twice during my tutoring), you’ll inevitably have to contend with one of these morons during your time on the road.

It’s annoying that the only thing you can really do when you find yourself in one of these situations is put up with their rubbish and hope they get out of your vicinity sooner rather than later. What I wouldn’t give to be able to use a powerup of some kind, to have the ability to throw projectiles, drop oil slicks and hurl bananas at any motorists that deserve my ire (well, legally, anyway).

Actually, in complete refutation of my earlier argument, driving in reality is like playing a videogame: you need to have the skill and ability to analyse and assimilate a huge amount of information in order to proceed in the safest manner possible. You need to decide which gear would be most suitable to take a corner or a roundabout in; how best to communicate your intentions to other drivers; which lane would be best to continue in to make sure you don’t get stuck behind any traffic turning right or – shock horror – parked cars.

That being said, you can’t ram someone up the tailpipe until they careen off the road in a mangled, flame-spewing mess.

Games win.