Stop Backbreakin’ Me!

Myself and the NaturalMotion crew have been working on the game ‘Backbreaker’ for ages, and it’s soon to be released – but I didn’t want to do a review as I thought that it might be biased, and I didn’t want to give a boring ‘insider’s opinion’ — so I decided to try and capture the spirit of the game instead.  And for some reason, the spirit of the game has been captured by Lady Gaga’s ‘Telephone’.  Hey, if army guys in Afghanistan can do their version of the video, then the song is manly enough for American Football.  If anyone gets confused, it’s the sort of football you play with your hands, padding and more often than not, enormous black gentlemen.  To help you understand some of the terminology, all the specific terms are hyperlinked.  Education, violence and Lady Gaga.  Aren’t you lucky!

Play the karaoke version in the background if you want to sing along!

BB1

Hello call a doctor,
because I can’t hear a thing.
Those bitches hit me badly,
in the head, with a knee! knee!
Wha-Wha-What the hell was that?
My neck is hurting – see!
Sorry, I did fumble but,
my back’s breaking on me.

Backbreakin’ on me.
Backbreakin’ on me.
Sorry, I did fumble; my back’s breaking on me.

Just a second,
It’s my favourite slant I gotta play.
And I gotta throw the ball,
to my Receivers hand, eh.
Oh man I shoulda thrown it to the other guy see.
The Primary Receiver is,
Backbreaking ‘cuz of me.

Stop holdin‘, stop tacklin‘,
I don’t wanna hurt anymore!
I left my sweat and my tears on the damn floor.
Stop spearin‘, stop trippin‘,
I don’t wanna bleed anymore!
I left my head and my heart on the damn floor.

Eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh.
Stop Backbreakin’ me!
Eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh.
I’m dizzy!
Eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh.
Stop Backbreakin’ me!
Eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh.

bb2

Your offense is sound,
but I’ll zone you out,
but you’re not gunna reach that end zone.
Cuz your play action pass,
will leave you on your ass,
but you’re not gunna reach that end zone.

Run wide down the side,
for a touchdown dive,
but you’re not gunna reach that end zone.
Shit! Quarterback sneak,
our defence is weak,
ok you reached that end zone.

Boy, the way you running on your own,
won’t make you score no faster.
Get a down no faster,
get first and ten no faster.
You shoulda left your game at home,
illegal shift disaster!
Ballin’ like an amateur,
because I’m the jukin’ master!

Not that I don’t like you,
I’m just on the other team.
And I am mad ‘n’ angry,
at your animated schemes.

Sometimes I feel like I’ve played the same game for 10 yEArs.
I’m taking those pigskin balls,
back into the red zone.

Into the red zone,
into the red zone.
I’m taking those pigskin balls back into the red zone.

bb4

Stop blockin’, stop roughin’,
I don’t wanna hurt anymore!
The Quarterback has been sacked on the damn floor.
Stop passin’, stop stiff armin’,
I don’t wanna run anymore!
The Halfback’s head is face down on the damn floor.

Stop runnin’, stop encroachin’,
I don’t wanna hurt anymore!
The Running Back’s leg went crunch on the damn floor.
Stop bargin’, stop pullin‘,
I don’t wanna block anymore!
Defensive Line has collapsed on the damn floor.

Eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh.
Stop Backbreakin’ me!
Eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh.
Hail Mary!
Eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh.
Stop Backbreakin’ me!
Eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh.

bb5

Snap and pass to the slot,
Because your pocket is hot,
but you’re not gunna reach that end zone.
Five to seven yards,
the last quarter is hard,
but you’re not gunna reach that end zone.

I’ll Blitz if I can,
you’re a bomb passing fan,
but you’re not gunna reach that end zone.
Strategy is key,
stop pump faking me,
but you’re not gunna reach that end zone!

That end zone!
Th-th-that end zone!
‘Cause Backbreaker’s here,
you can butt slap your rear,
but you’re not gunna reach that end zone!

That end zone!
Th-th-that end zone!
Don’t come crying to me,
when you’re playing Tackle Alley,
as you’re not gunna reach that end zone!!!

bb nm pic


Posted

in

,

by

Tags:

Comments

2 responses to “Stop Backbreakin’ Me!”

  1. Susan avatar
    Susan

    We are blatantly singing this at your birthday karaoke. XD

  2. Simon avatar
    Simon

    Genius. Would definitely like to hear it sung in full at some point though………

Leave a Reply