No, we’re not talking achievements here; we’re talking cold, hard stuff. Gaming tat ranging from sweets to ice cube trays to keyboards; I own them all. I can’t help myself. Special Editions are one thing, I have absolutely no shame for the glorious Facehugger model which arrived on my doorstep this week, but sometimes I can’t help but ponder the number of items I own simply because they have a Space Invader stamped onto them.
Sometimes these little pieces of heaven are more than just a burden on my wallet, they’re a burden on my time. I know many students, and almost all of these students are required to construct something while using a computer. These computers are usually situated upon a desk, as is the one I am typing on is right now. This is where the desk should agree to a stint of monogamy while in this relationship with said computer, but oh no! It instead has to have all this free space still available just begging to be filled. So I ask you, as a reader and a human, if you had a choice of writing an essay or doing the following, would you really have made any other choice?
Procrastination has never been so nerdy!
This compulsion has even raised a part of me that I thought previously impossible to tap into without switching genders: owner’s envy. Similar to women who refuse to share the trade secrets of where they got their favourite pair of shoes or new jacket because as far as they’re concerned it’s theirs. Forget that the company may have made thousands of them, they’re simply back-ups for when theirs runs out and they require a replacement. Nobody else they know shall ever own one. I have the same gamer envy with all my stuff. If I went round a friend’s house and saw a Blinky shaped sweet-tin… I’d be forced to end them.
It’s an evil I don’t want to have inside me, but the whore in me refuses to share. I am one who one day wishes that every game be multiplatform so that all gamers get to enjoy any game the way they want to. It would be a gamer’s utopia. Yet I still want to go to River Island, right now, and buy every single one of their Space Invader branded ties just to ensure I don’t run into another one at the next wedding I attend. It’s uncanny! (yes that’s right, I wore a Space Invaders tie to a wedding. It looked awesome.)
Are we clear?
However, this… addiction, does make thinking of gift ideas for me almost insultingly easy. All of my immediate family know the standard drill: does it involve Pacman? Is it licensed by Nintendo? Would any of them themselves be ashamed to own it? If the answer to any of the former is ‘yes’, then you know it’s ending up under our Christmas tree.
Knitted love! <3
My girlfriend though, the astounding human-being she is, always finds a way of taking it a step further. Can you see that hand-knitted Sackboy over there? No, stop reading this sentence right now, and glance to the right and have a look, I’ll end the paragraph right here so you can have a peek.
See! How epic is he?! He too now sits proudly upon my whore of a desk, and only a week in he’s already contributed to more procrastination than any sweets could hope to. ‘The Adventures of Sackboy Jack’ are already in full swing. To the point that there is a very real possibility that it may become part of my University degree. The mere thought actually made my tutors want me to waste more time with objects and assorted gaming gadgets I’ve got lying around on my desk. And write about them. It’s almost hard to take in.
Actual, published, well respected writers want me to write about a tiny vinyl Yoshi currently guarding my external hard drive. It boggles my brain to no end. In fact, I actually intended to end this on a moral point about how you shouldn’t let your impulses control your gaming purchases; that sometimes games should be enjoyed for games-sake and not for mindless merchandising or hoarding unfindable bricker-brack over your friends. Upon reflection though, I’ve somehow convinced myself that being such a huge gaming whore has actually made me ever so slightly… proud.
Gaming News 24/7
February 22nd, 2010 at 8:48 am
I think it’s all pretty cool :)
Something troubling has come to my attention though. It may just be a problem with my screen, but it that a big smudge on the flatscreen just above Sackboy’s head?!
February 22nd, 2010 at 10:52 am
what are those little round things that pacman’s eating?? Great car.
February 22nd, 2010 at 5:22 pm
Dunky your my idol!
February 23rd, 2010 at 10:11 pm
Good to see the collection has grown!
February 24th, 2010 at 1:07 pm
Yes, Simon… there is a dirty great big smudge on my screen. I only notice it when it’s turned off so I’m yet to get around to cleaning it. ;)