Push The Button To Make Me Moan

Voice-acting for videogames is a bizarre affair indeed, something I recently discovered firsthand. Whilst I was working as a writer for DR Studios, I was asked to do something that was, for me, quite incredible: offer my vocal talents to a game that the studio was developing. I wasn’t required to read dialogue (although my CV will have you believe otherwise), simply to vocalise emotional reactions. Still, one’s natural response to being offered such an opportunity is of course, “hot damn, yes please”.

Now, as it turned out, my ‘vocal talents’ equated to little more than amateurish squeals. Of greater note, however, was that they would have been better suited to the porn industry. You see, it didn’t seem to matter what emotional expression I was attempting to convey, the resulting noise would have you believe I was taking pleasure in the experience far more than a professional (or indeed, a mentally balanced) person should have been. Enjoying an ice-cream, making a jump, acting surprised; it didn’t matter what the context of my noises were, they always somehow sounded sexual. Don’t ask me how, but I even managed to make a yawn sound arousing.

As if this wasn’t enough to throw me, adding to the tension was the fact that two of the recording room walls were made of glass, allowing the entire studio to peer in on the action throughout the process.  In fact, the only thing more entertaining than my noises were the expressions on my colleagues’ faces.

Another thing I noticed was that the task I had been faced with was a very awkward one. Having two men staring at you, expecting you to perform, to deliver the same absurd-sounding vocalisations over and over but with different intonations and by following one immediately with another is not my idea of fun. It’s a very artificial experience. You are given no aids; no props to situate you in the moment, no fellow actors to bounce emotions off, and no ecological scenario to provide you with motivation.

Of course, an amateur such as I also has to go through the dejecting experience of listening to the final recording until it becomes undeniably apparent that the irksome screeching sound coming from the stereo is not unwittingly-captured feedback but in fact your voice.

However, later in the week, when I saw the game running and witnessed the relevant avatar animations trigger my vocal cues, I realised it had all been worth it. It was a real turn on for me.

So, all in all, the experience was incredibly satisfying if a little embarrassing. I now find it intriguing that one could make a lucrative career out of this. Just think, I could be the next Nolan North, providing vocal goodness to future Assassin’s Creed, Drake’s Fortune, and Prince of Persia games.

Maybe…? Possibly…?

Well, at least Virtually Jenna 2, surely?!