Dragon, God, Paperclip

A little change today: instead of the usual comment on the gaming world I’m just going to tell a little story. Having gotten my flu jab my arm got sore and I felt mildly unwell. Nothing major mind but being a man it felt worse. So I got quite a bit of sympathy from my lady friend and I decided to make a dent in my ever growing in-store credit so I could get a game to cheer me up. When you need cheering up, Nintendo handhelds rarely fail to deliver and it was the case once again as I picked up Scribblenauts which produced a stupid grin on my face once more.

Notepad! Fetch my Pterodactyl!

It’s not all joy though as I think Scribblenauts has uncovered a bit of a problem with me. After 19 years of gaming I fear that it’s starting to affect my logic and basic decision making.  The puzzles in Scribblenauts allow you to generate any non-trademarked item to help you solve them. I had to tidy up a park and kill a fly for one puzzle. So I wandered around picking up trash then I noticed one bit up a tree. With the fly still about I had a plan… fire. I spawned a flamethrower and took the fly and the tree out. I don’t know whether it was drug induced delirium but this element of freedom caused a sort of madness. I went from being rather dull and using normal objects to solve puzzles to being a madman. Next puzzle, cat stuck up on a roof. I started to spawn a ladder then stopped… a glint in my eye brought a wry smile and I duly spawned a grenade. The house detonated several times before collapsing, cat safely on the floor.  It got worse the more I played. One puzzle confused me, a teacher needing something. The answer was students, however I didn’t know this and spawned a fireman as I thought they could have some fun whilst the class was empty. I was thrust into a warzone and spawned a pirate to help me because… well… pirates are badass. I got a bit sad when they just shot him. I was tasked with beating a jump distance of a bmx-er… so I rode a unicycle. Successfully I may add. I just couldn’t help myself, the insane gamer part of me was let loose. I was spawning everything possible, puzzles fell at my insane logic, it was all going so well!

...he looked less dangerous in my head.
…he looked less dangerous in my head.

Then one puzzle embarassed me. I had to get flowers into this girl’s basket. Simple? Well there were problems. To begin with there was a bee, an angry bee. I ran past it and made it without dying, which was super but I was then faced with a body of water with a piranha in it. So I spawned a shark to eat the pirahna… then a dolphin to kill the shark… then a whale to eat the dolphin… then instead of a tiny piranha I was faced with a whale. I dropped a marine in the water… he was eaten. So was a sniper, ninja, pirate, Rick Astley, God and Satan. I decided to go back and deal with the bee. Whilst standing viewing the situation a wasp chased me, I panicked and spawned the one thing guaranteed to kill a bee: a T-Rex. It ate the hive, the bee, the tree, the girl wanting flowers and me in about half a second. I was shamed, my logic hadn’t just failed but led to the death of innocents and made me look like a prize fool. I closed the DS slowly and related the story to my girlfriend, who chuckled at my stupidity. A small break from Scribblenauts needed, I need to go out into the real world and find out how they think, then perhaps I’ll come back without the insanity which gripped me and forced me to such ludicrous puzzle solving methods.







5 responses to “Dragon, God, Paperclip”

  1. Laura avatar

    Great read, John 😀 Scribblenauts is sooo much fun!

  2. Duncan avatar

    Haha! Great story – you clearly have a much better imagination than me. I never would have thought of spawning a T-Rex!

    It made me ‘lol’ for real. 🙂

  3. John.B avatar

    Glad you guys liked and even read it on Cod day! 🙂

  4. Ben avatar

    Ah Scribblenauts, yet again another person reminding me why I need to get my hands on a DS…dam you John.

    I was watching someone play it the other day and sadly my advice of “spawn a badger” just kept falling on death ears, what do they know!

  5. MrCuddleswick avatar

    Ha ha ha ha ha you’ve just made me laugh out loud in a break at training with the ever increasing size of animal required to deal with the previous animal.

    Rick Astley?!?!

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