To The Citizens of Alpoko

Dear Citizens,

I have been your King now for fourteen days. I thought I should contact you all and let you know how things are in the Kingdom, and what you can do to help.

The past two weeks have been hard, I won’t deny it. We’ve lost many of our friends as we’ve fought against some of the monsters which seem to live dangerously close to our lands. I have heard a rumour, though, that our lost comrades may wash up, alive and well, on a beach close to the castle. I hope, one day, to be able to lead them back to our Kingdom and show them how much we have grown since they were last here.

Speaking of growth, some of you may be aware that we have crossed the river, and have begun exploring in the Onii Kingdom. This is not without consequence, though, and I feel I should let you all know that King Onii has poured scorn on our Kingdom. He even had the audacity, in a very badly written letter, to call us the Kindom of Aljerko. I cannot, and will not, stand for this so in the coming days I shall gather my best soldiers and head into his Kingdom to see if we can end this feud one way or another. I hope that you will all stand with me at this time of need – after all, if we manage to vanquish him it’s an excuse for another festival. You know we like our fesitvals.

Some of you may have noticed that a Church has recently been built on the site of the old Graveyard where we valiantly fought Cow Bones. I haven’t quite worked out the purpose of this building – none of you seem to worship there, and the guy in charge, Kampbell, seems a little pre-occupied with soup. But, dear citizens, if I discover any secrets regarding this fine place then I shall let you know as soon as possible.

I know that many of you are complaining that the town is too dark at night, and what we really need are some lights. I have not, as yet, got the resources to provide any sort of illumination for you but it is on my list of things to do. Hopefully the lack of lighting doesn’t hamper my evening fitness regime which is seeing you all get just that little bit stronger – a necessary evil as we face off against stronger creatures out there in the unexplored world. If only it could all be walking turnips, eh?

Those of you who like the Kingdom’s hot-spring hot-tub will be pleased to learn that we have managed to find another one across the river on the outskirts of the Onii Kingdom. Now, when you’re bruised and battered, you can jump in for a quick soak instead of having to trail all the way back to the main settlement. This is excellent news, as I am partial to a dip myself and I am spending a lot more time on that side of the river at the moment.

For those of you who do not yet have a career, I would like to remind you that we are now looking for lumberjacks to help us clear the larger stumps from our Kingdom’s paths – who knows what we will find beyond these obstacles, but you can rest assured that I, as your King, will lead you into the unknown with my staff held high and my crown glittering in the light. If the idea of wearing a hat with a tail on it doesn’t appeal to you, remember that I also have openings for farmers, soldiers and carpenters. Soon, once the royal coiffers are filled to the brim we will be looking for Hunters to help us deal with these nasty Onii.

I would like to thank you all for allowing me to be your King, and for not hating me too much. I know, over the past few weeks, that four of you were less than impressed with my Kingly duties and I have received letters in the suggestions box which seem to imply I may have worked you too hard in the early days but look at our Kingdom now! We have grown so much, with towns springing up all over the place and new industries to get your teeth into.

And remember, I have not charged you tax since the first few days of my reign. The Kingdom of Alpoko is run, purely and simply, on the treasure we find in the world around us – is anyone else curious to know how we get into that giant purse across the river?  I promise never to make you pay for anything again, but do ask that you all work with me to improve the Kingdom and I will be the best King I can be. And if, at some point, that means that my castle no longer looks like a small bungalow with a tiny wooden throne, then all the better.

I’ll sign off now, but will say that those of you who have heard my Loyal Knight, Howser, using words like “world domination” and “all mine” should probably not worry too much. He’s been searching for the King for 35 years, after all, he’s bound to be a little over excited.

Thank you, once again, my loyal subjects.

King Jake