The Spice of Life

It occurred to me the other day whilst having an Indian meal that buying and playing games is a lot like going for Indian food. Now, I know this makes me sound a bit like Swiss Toni from The Fast Show (“Gaming? It’s a lot like making love to a beautiful woman”) but do bear with me.

You start out with a baffling variety of interesting and exotic names to pick from, and then you’ve got to make your decision, often based on little more than a short description and maybe a recommendation from a friend. Do you go for something tried and tested, like the rogan josh, or do you go for something a little bit more exotic and unusual, at the risk of maybe not enjoying your choice and feeling you’ve wasted your money?

FIFA ’09, or Killer 7?

Sometimes the random choice you made really works out well, and you’re chuffed. But other times you find your choice has odd combinations of elements, and really just doesn’t work. You’re longing for your easy choice, safe from anything too controversial and unsavoury.

The same goes for the spiciness, of course. Sphincter-burningly hot or mild and (possibly) flavourless? When you start a new game, do you go for Easy and then find the game bland and unchallenging? Or do you drop a couple of Jalapeños into the mix and go straight into the game on Hard, at the risk of finding it too difficult for you to really enjoy?

And as for the bhajis, the saag aloo and all the other wonderful side dishes – they represent the hundreds of hidden item games, side-missions and other wondefurful gaming tidbits in most modern games. Do you sample your way round everything on the table, or do you dedicate yourself to the main course, and then go back for the side dishes later?

Which just leaves us with one, final element of the whole dining experience. The little chocolate mint that you get at the end. This one’s easy: it’s the sweet little thrill at the end of a satisfying experience, that little plinky sound of “Achievement Unlocked” or “Trophy unlocked”.

Bon appétit!