As I was strolling down the ‘Fifa Street’ one day, under the ‘Crimson Skies’, I decided I would try to have a ‘Diner Dash’ for a cheeky ‘Burger Time’.
I flagged down a cab, but when I tried to ‘Exit’ ‘Hell’s Highway’, the ‘Crazy Taxi’ ‘Driver’ wouldn’t let me ‘Fallout’ at my final destination. It turned out he’s part of an ‘Elite’ group of ‘Space Invaders’ known as the ‘Space Armada’ and wants ‘Too Human’ subjects to experiment on, ‘Dead or Alive’ before he takes over the world. The ‘Alien Hominid’ stared back at me with its one ‘Golden Eye’. I thought ‘Monster Madness’ was a ‘Myth’, obviously not.
“’Frak!’” I said…
A stormy ‘Dark Cloud’ started to cover the ‘Skies of Arcadia’. And as the ‘BloodRayne’ fell, I reflect in the situation… it felt ‘Unreal’ and unfabulous – I didn’t like being ‘Alone in the Dark’ with an alien ‘cabby’.
I needed to plan ‘The Getaway’ and start ‘Plotting’ my escape.
‘Aha!’ I thought, maybe if I can ‘Bust A Move’ then I can disperse the dark ‘Ages of Myst’, cause some serious ‘Cel Damage’ and ‘Beatmania’ these ‘Bad Dudes’ into ‘Oblivion’.
As if my fists were made from ‘Metal Gear, Solid’ – the glass was easy to ‘Punch Out’ and I managed to reach ‘Escape Velocity’. ‘‘’Carmageddon’ outta here” I said, and made a ‘Boulder Dash’ to get out of the ‘Crisis Zone’.
Suddenly a ‘Portal’ appeared in the ground that looks more like ‘icky’ ‘Pools of Darkness’. The alien ‘Darkstalkers’ were now everywhere. Their sole purpose: ‘Destroy all Humans’ and they ‘Pong’ a bit too. ‘Ugh!’
The first alien I met got out of his ‘Space Taxi’.
“What the hell is this, ‘Area 51’” I said in the ‘Heavy Rain’ “I do not enjoy being ‘Tekken’ away as one of your ‘Hostages’ and I’m not going to let this ‘Planetfall’ you ‘S.W.I.N.E!’
“Fine!” said the ‘Alien Soldier’, “Read my ‘Lips’, If you win the ultimate ‘Death Rally’ I will not cause ‘F.E.A.R’ and put people in ‘Deadly Rooms of Death’ for fun. The ‘Mass Effect’ is to bring ‘F.E.A.R. 2’ the ‘Populous’ with a ‘Snake’ and ‘Two Crude Dudes’. The ‘Secret Service’ will keep them in the ‘Perfect Dark’, until their entertainment goes ‘Kaboom!’ when I ‘Smash TV’ stations, leaving only The Jeremy Kyle show on air.
“‘Hang on’“; I said – “in fact ‘Super Hang On’. I’m going to ‘Freak Out’! You can’t ‘Sacrifice’ ‘Space Channel 5’! Gosh your a ‘Bully’! It’s a good thing I actually have a ‘Need for Speed’ and I’m totally going to take a ‘Test Drive: Unlimited’”
Will Fran ‘OutRun’ the ‘Space B*stards’ before ‘Total Carnage’ starts or will she just bring ‘Doom’ to the ‘Planets Edge’ with what looks like a pink Fiat Panda.
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March 2nd, 2009 at 5:09 pm
Genius!
March 2nd, 2009 at 5:22 pm
*Takes hat off and bow’s*
It’s Frantastic ;-)
March 2nd, 2009 at 5:22 pm
^ – Cr*p… Anonymous is me BTW.
March 2nd, 2009 at 5:28 pm
Haha, great :D
March 2nd, 2009 at 7:06 pm
Hi Fran.
I don’t think we chatted before, so just wanted to say HALO first. Good blog but I hate when ALIENS decide to PREY on us JUST CAUSE they think they can. We need to CRACKDOWN on this sort of thing
If you race the Fiat Panda FLATOUT it may need to be CONDEMNED as it’s a FAR CRY from a DAYTONA car with it’s FATAL INERTIA and ROLLCAGE. You may be forced to commit GRAND THEFT AUTO to get some HOT WHEELS to compete in this SUPER SPRINT.
Good Luck, I hope you leave them eatin’ DiRT.
March 2nd, 2009 at 8:48 pm
To be hoped that’s not the first paragraph of part 2 there Rook, or Fran will be NARC-ed.
March 2nd, 2009 at 8:51 pm
I considered that Jake. Tried not to write too much. Just hope she doesn’t make me EAT LEAD, cos I don’t want to be in ETERNAL DARKNESS.
March 3rd, 2009 at 12:31 am
ROFL Fran-tastic indeed! *clap clap clap*
March 3rd, 2009 at 8:22 am
I think my favourite bit is the B-Movie poster at the end…
March 3rd, 2009 at 9:14 am
Very good Fran :D
March 3rd, 2009 at 10:23 am
Very impressive. :D Musta taken you ages.
Well, that or you’re just a whole lot cleverer than wot I am. :)